Please click on the link below and offer me some insight or suggestions if you can. It's in regard to visitation of the kids with their grandparents.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=34;t=008514

Thanks.

Karen

bumpin for ya

another bump up, hoping for more shared stories.
(thanks kuljey for bumping it up last night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ).

Karen

Karen

I wish there was something useful I could say -frankly it's a desperately difficult situation all round.

Why don't you write to your IL's telling them how sorry you were that you hung up, but what is happening is a real situation and not one that you would invent. Tell them also your willingness for them to have contact with the boys, but how sorry you are that it has to be limited/supervised/not able to tell them where you are etc.

If they don't respond favourably to that, I'd be tempted to say s** em!!! What's most important is your safety and that of the boys, and their well being. I know how difficult it is to explain to young children the situation, especially as they have not been in contact with their Dad.

Wish I could be more helpful, but know I am wishing you well and thinking of you.

Lisa

Thanks Lisa! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

It's an excellent suggestion to write them a letter. I do have an 8"x10" pic of the boys for them (H tried to take it for his own over xmas... but "I" bought it for his parents... I grabbed it from the matrimonial house when I was there on xmas eve), and I could send the letter along with the photo. I'll wait until Wednesday before mailing anything out though... so that I may talk to my lawyer to find out what's going on with visitation.

I had planned on writing to them once visitation was established... but it was to be a letter simply outlining my new addy and phone number, and to let them know that they were welcome here to my new home to visit the boys, as long as they gave me ample notice on their plans to visit (I'd have figured out a nice way to say it all though...hehehe). When I mentioned this to my lawyer, she said that she would do the letter for me (what a relief to me!). But now with H's supervised visitation up in the air, I'm not sure what's going to happen! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Karen

Karen

At the end of the day, if you write to say "sorry", you've taken the higher moral ground, and will know that you have done your best to make sure that the ILs have access to and are in touch with their grandchildren. I think sending the photo too is a good idea and shows how willing you are to have them in your life and the boys. Sometimes I think it is easier to write a letter as well. You don't get side-tracked by a response that you weren't expecting and you can be calm and thoughtful in what you say.

I have to say that I do have sympathy for them. It must be incredibly difficult for them to come to terms with (or even begin to comprehend) what their son has done and what he is being charged with.

Wishing you well and hope it all goes according to plan. Keep us posted.

Lisa

topie-- my dear friend--im not gonna tell you what to do-you allready know. you are a wonderfully caring person who needs to protect her boys. notice i say needs to, not wants to, thats because you are doing the right thing. dont question it. you had a plan to let them know after everything was settled. good plan. you plan on letting them visit whenever, with notice, good plan. you get it--you know what to do, for you and the boys, do it. we will all love and support you. now give your kids a hug and smile. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />