Here's the link for those who I said I would do this for. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> You know who you are!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=017646#00 0000

Karen

<small>[ March 28, 2003, 09:05 AM: Message edited by: Topie25 ]</small>

I should also add this info:

A pre plan B letter is NOT a Harley technique. It is something that I felt the need to do, to basically get my H's butt in gear in recovery.

He was not fulfilling my EN's, he was regularly Love Busting, and most importantly, I HAD NOT SET MY BOUNDARIES well enough before reconciliation began. Basically, he was feeding me crumbs of recovery, and I was sick and tired of it.

By the way, he RELUCTANTLY agreed to my conditions, which at that point were ultimatums (he wouldn't POJA with me, and I felt I no longer had a choice). However, those changes did not last long. By October 2002, he had resumed his disrespectful ways, and I started making plans to leave.

This "pre plan B letter" (as I call it) helped me to firmly set my boundaries, and was proof to me that he had NO EXCUSE anymore, to LB so greatly. It was also a great aid in my own recovery, to know that I did everything I could do, to save my M.... after all, I had it written out, in plain english! And he STILL didn't "get it". That wasn't my fault.

I hope it might help some of you out there, if you feel you are in a rut in recovery.

Karen