After this last time my husband left I feel as though we are growing further and further apart. I thought there would be some hope, with just about no contact, but in my opinion he is growing closer and closer to the OW and her 3 daughters. He didn't even call his kids on Easter. I had to call him last night to tell him he papers for work here he needed and his sister in law is having a birthday party for his father this Saturday night, because he doesn't really contact his family anymore. His sister did meet his gf and her kids and I think his mother did too. He is with her kids and not hers. Anyone know what is up with that? He got her kids candy and not his for Easter. I have no idea what is going on in his life and it hurts bad and he has no idea what is going on with mine or his kids for that matter.

Goldie,

did you get your keys back to your cars...
did you keep the receipt for the rental car so that IF this goes anywhere with the courts it documents his childish behavior of taking BOTH sets of keys
did you make extra keys to everything you own and hide them
did you change the location of important papers, make copies, move birth certificates etc??
did you change the locks on your house..this guy will come in and over when you are not there...and take what he thinks he can..
did you go to the schools and discuss his behavior so that they are aware of his abandonment and do not attempt to get to the kids that way.
Did you decide to never ever ever talk to the OP again..
Did you decide to never ever ever ask about the OP and anything he is doing with them

"He didn't even call his kids on Easter"...
ummm maybe that's because he came on Sat acted like a total jerk...scared the heck out of his kids...proved what poor judgement he has by believing your children should be forced to spend time with her kids...as if it's all one big happy family..

Have you discussed with your lawyer how you are going to protect your children from this OW...who just recently got her own children back through the court system...and therefor do NOT want your children alone with her EVER??????

Ofcourse he avoids all of those that make him accountable for his behavior...
avoiding children and you avoids pain and reality..it is the easy easy easy way out...not a big suprise that is the path he has chosen...

did you go alanon yet?
Tell me about you Goldie...what you have done to get in control......
he means very little right now...lost in the fog...
ARK (who knows i keep on you...and hope that deep down you are OK..but knows the only way to get OK is to not wallow in the pain but push through it and find control...and this you CAN do

Goldielocks, make sure you actually carefully consider all that ark^^ has to say. He's right on the money here IMHO.

Why did you have to call him about the birthday? Why couldn't you give his sister the phone number?

I think you need to arrange some way to get his mail (and things like business papers) to him without having to call OW's place.

Look after yourself and your kids.

Jen

You guys are great!! I got 1 set of keys left he still has the other set. On Saturday I called my lawyer and told him what was going on. He said since the car was in both of our names that I couldn't call the cops I would have to wait til Monday, but then got them later that evening from him. He doesn't have a check card and we still have a joint acct opened in case of car insurance checks that we get from an accident. His pay check also get direct deposited, so I told him he can have that and stupidly (I know you will say that was wrong) I got it out for him so he gave 1 set of keys.

He talked to my older son Monday night and my son asked him how his Easter was and my H said it was ok it would have been better with you guys though. So why didn't he call or see them? How can he see her 3 kids on Easter and not his? She doesn't have them all the time, her and her ex have them 50/50.

No I haven't made copies of anything yet, I will. Yes the school knows about our seperation. No they don't know about Saturday's incident.

Would you think he really loves this girl? Sometimes I hate him so much and sometimes I love him so much. This morning he called the boys on the way to work and he was nice to me. Last Friday night I went out and he was asking me where I went and why did I get home so late, because his gf drove by my house to go home (she was out) and my H worked the night shift and she called him when she got home and told him I wasn't home yet.

Goldi,
That sucks. Please don't spend another minute worried about his behavior; he is not worth it.

I am an OW who has been living w/ my FMM for over a year. We had his kids or Easter. However, even if we didn't they each would have gotten a nice basket and bunny.

We have had to fight for all access. I really am baffled at how both of these women try to limit his contact when he is a good dad, pays support, and desires to be involved. I am just thankful he plays such a huge role in my kids' lives.

My daughter's father is an @sshole. He never buys her anything, rarely tries to see her, and I have had to take him to court too many times for CS.

I respomded to your other post. Just curious, but are circumstances forcing you to leave them alone, or is it him doing it? tew

He doesn't help out at all. 2 weeks ago my younger son was sick (he is 10) and I had to go to physical therapy and dr appts from a car accident and my H was off from work and wouldn't watch him at all. I had to cancel appts. He never takes them at all. The other day he was, but showed up with his gf and 3 kids and my H never sat down with and explained to them that he has been living with her or anything.

I hope that you are keeping a journal of all of that, specifically every time he refuses to help out or be with the kids, or says he will and backs out. It may be needed when you seek custody.

If you're not keeping one, start one now, and go as far back as you can recall accurately.

Jen