my husband has been gone almost 5 months and hasnt seen/called to talk to/check on his offspring in over 10 weeks...its just strange, but he has done it. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

i have an appt w/a good lawyer (referred to me by my friend that is a law clerk for the judge in my county and has seen this lawyer in action) next tuesday. i will NEED to get a loan to hire him, and boy i cannot afford it but i have to protect me and the kids. so i am trying to get my ducks in a row, i am trying to think of us (kids/me) before thinking of 'got to wait this out and see if he comes back.'

anyway, i dont have a specific question just wanted to post how i am feeling today.

today is our 5 1/2 yr olds graduation and he doesnt even know, in 2 days is his daughters graduation from 5th grade, and he doesnt even know.

his dad is still on the kick that its partly my fault that my wh did what he idd. so i wrote the dad a long long letter telling him that him saying he cant see his kids/or call is an excuse cuz he feels guilty and cuz the ow doesnt like it. and i told him that he chose this path and he is the one who left his kids behind--i never told him to do that. also my wh says i will yell at him if he tries to see his kids so i made it clear i have not yelled at him when he came to visit and dont intend to yell.

anyway, thanks in advance to anyone who reads this and replies to me.

Kuljey,
I think getting a lawyer, even if it is just for the child support is the right thing for you to do. Your H has no right to abandon his children financially. Have his wages garisheed--the pay dept at his military job is set up to do it.

Despite what your H says, that no one cares, the military doesn't approve of deadbeat dads. Your H seems to be in a particularly unhelpful-to-families unit, which is surprising because many military groups have set up Family Support personel.

Have you been documenting the lack of help from your H's commander, the JAG, whomever else you've contacted? I'm not sure where you'd go with it, other than up the chain of command.

my wh is in the army reserves. i have gone up the chain of command, they are not going to do anything at all. he is in the reserves they say and they cant do anything. so the army does not care, his commander almost told me exactly that, just less rude.

so, i am getting a lawyer to file for divorce. he is apparently gone for good, his hussy is more important than me (that is why wh left) and is more imporant than his offspring. this girl won him and has him. very very sad to come to terms with that. i guess my ADS are helping.

my wh is in the army reserves. i have gone up the chain of command, they are not going to do anything at all. he is in the reserves they say and they cant do anything. so the army does not care, his commander almost told me exactly that, just less rude.

so, i am getting a lawyer to file for divorce. he is apparently gone for good, his hussy is more important than me (that is why wh left) and is more imporant than his offspring. this girl won him and has him. very very sad to come to terms with that. i guess my ADS are helping.

my wh is in the army reserves. i have gone up the chain of command, they are not going to do anything at all. he is in the reserves they say and they cant do anything. so the army does not care, his commander almost told me exactly that, just less rude.

so, i am getting a lawyer to file for divorce. he is apparently gone for good, his hussy is more important than me (that is why wh left) and is more imporant than his offspring. this girl won him and has him. very very sad to come to terms with that. i guess my ADS are helping.

----------bump---------

I know it will be hard financially at first to afford the lawyer, but you need to get things going.

I wish a friends H was not called up. He is in the Reserves. I think he is somewhat higher ranking. If he was still around I would ask him if he knew what your next action should be.

I have a hard time believing that it would be different with the Reserves and Regular Army. Could it be that this Commander was not wanting to deal with it. Or did not know what to do, so he said that in the Reserves they don't care?

Here is a link you should look at

http://www.jagcnet.army.mil/Legal

It also gives a number to call if you are not recieving support and should be.

I found this while looking up something with regards to Military Reserves. This is one of two websites listed. The other website did not work so I will not provide.

I didn't have time to read it. It looked like it is meant to be helpful

<small>[ May 28, 2003, 08:53 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>