I have been married for 4 years, we have had more ups than downs. I always thought my husband was the perfect match for me until recently...
I went on vacation for five days alone to visit some relatives and that is when I met the new guy. I felt something the minute I saw him. I could not stop thinking about him. It wasn't a physical attraction because he doesn't even look like the type I would even consider. But he was very easy to talk to and it didn't hurt that we were from the same ethnic group (my husband and I are not)
He took me to the beach and we had a terrific time (it felt like a wonderful date). I started sensing that he was trying to get closer so I kept my distance and he got the message, until my last night and that is when it almost happened, I tried to stop but then it just felt so right(we just kissed, and it was so nice)
My husband and I are not very physically close; I never even liked having sex with him. We hardly ever sleep in the same bed because I cannot stand his breathing sound. He is a wonderful cook and always tries to please me and do things the way I like them.
I feel ashamed because I betrayed his trust, something that we knew we had no matter what. I cannot live with what I have done, especially that I don't feel any remorse about it.
Our marriage has been rocky since the beginning; we fight all the time about many things. He is very impatient with me and treats me like I am retarded all the time (I know I am an intelligent woman so I try not to let it bother me too much). He has no sense of responsibility. I don't even want to have children with him, just the thought scares me.
Please help me out with some advice! I want to tell him what happened and that I don't even feel bad about it, because I have to be truthful, I always told him everything.
Just the thought that I WANT to be with another man makes me sick because I am hurting the one that I love. I am willing to pack up and leave because I cannot live with myself because I know once I tell him, I will lose the trust that he once fully had in me, and I cannot live without that.

Hana,
He really needs to know all this. He has a RIGHT to know what is going on in his own marriage. Your first committment is to him and you owe him the honor of trying to work the problems out. If you can't work them, THEN you can vacate the marriage.

As far as wanting the OM, you are big girl and have full control over your actions. Telling your DH will help you avoid doing something stupid. Just remember, character is demonstrated NOT from being perfect [no one is] but from HOW you handle your shortcomings.

You sound like a good person and I suspect that your conscience won't be able to handle an affair. So please don't harm yourself by following through on your WRONG feelings. Show some strength of character and do what you know is right. Good luck!

You have already started an emotional affair. The recovery process is the same for a physical or emotional affair. Click on the link in my signature line and get started. You can have a better marraige and a better sex life with your H than with this OM. My wife and I had a lousy sex life. Sex with me was, in her words, "emotionally painful". Her sex life with the OM was great, relatively speaking. At DDay, we started seriously started working on our issues, using Harley's materials. Within three months, she said sex with me was 10-times better than anythnig she had with the OM. She had thought in telling me and ending the affair that she had to give up that part of her life, because I was just not any good at that. The truth was that she was not devoting the same effort and energy toward me as she was toward the OM, and that he was giving her some things that I did not know she needed. It was not a lack of capability, it was a lack of knowledge and training. I suspect it is the same with your H. If it's not, divorce him, don't cheat. But try a method of marriage reapair that works before you give up. Click on the link below to find out more about that method.

All I can say is...DON't.

The pain you may cause as a result will change you, you H and your lives forever.

Talk to your H, a counsellor...NOW.

Hana,

Please consider speaking with a professional therapist about your struggle before you do anything.

The pain you have now will pale in comparison to everything that comes with having a relationship outside of your marriage.

You are not alone. Please get help today.