I know everyone's situation is different, but as we are all learning, WS seem to act and react in similar ways .

For the benefit of myself and others who are in Plan B's early stages, could those of you who have done Plan B compile a list of things we (BS) could expect to encounter?

The obvious one seems to be WS initiating contact to test resolve of BS
How many times did WS test you?
What did they do to test you? (forms of contact, types of manipulation)
How did you deal with each of these tests?

What about feelings of loneliness and grief?
How long does Plan B last?
How did Plan B end?
What things did you do to stay focussed during Plan B?

Thanks for all comments and advice.

Great questions, Claire! Thanks for this thread. I hope we get some answers.

I got my first obvious test today.

Hi Claire

Expect the unexpected I think is probably the best answer I would give!!!

I think you are right that people react differently, and BS's even flag when they shouldn't. I know my circumstances were slightly odd in that STBX didn't think he was a WS and what he was doing was fine.

He called and e-mailed, then responded very angrily to my letter. I think anger and blame are very common themes. He thought I was trying to be controlling and manipulative and couldn't understand why I should have any issues around his R with Shiney Head.

What probably does happen is that as time goes on, you will either find you are happy to live with yourself and accept what has happened and move on, or WS will awake as the realisation grows on them that OP cannot meet all their needs. You will know when it is time for you to move on if that is what happens. Alternatively let us hope you WH will come out of his fog. He is already anixous about your actions and trying to contact you (I read your other thread).

Stick with it hon, it will get easier for you that I can be sure of. I started to work on me and get a sense of me back - my self esteem, my guilt issues, my feelings etc. And that is what you should do. Work on yourself and make Claire the best Claire she can possibly be. Then, whatever happens, you will be prepared for the future.

Good luck to you.

Lisa

"Bump"
There seem to be several of us here lately that are contemplating beginning Plan B or in the early stages.
It is a very difficult and painful decision to make.
Looking for more response for this thread.