Those of you who have been following my threads , know that this has not been an easy road to say the least , But I know from reading here no one has had it easy LOL

We have finnally achieved N/C and things have been going very well in all areas ..Yes there are things we are working through , my insecurity's and for the most part my H does very well at validating them ..

I feel I have good enough handle on his guilt and how to comfort him through that and although I know alot of you have read he put me through hell on getting to the point of N/C ..

I do belive he had to do this his way and although it hurt me very much he was honest with me through the process . With that honesty although brutal I feel it helped over all in to bringing me to better trust him ..

He is accountable for his time , his cell phone is at my disposal and I do not abuse this , witch inturn makes him feel comfortable ..

I feel I have grown through this , as has he .

We spend more time together and communicate more then we did PRE-A and we are learning to hear echother and solve a problem instead of letting it go .

We where doing most of these things while contact was ongoing .

There has been some bumps in the road , some calls from OW that H has not answered and friends of hers that has started to call, H has not answered ..

This is some what stressfull but baby steps are in order ..

I am scared at times that this is not real whitch I am sure that is a normal feeling ..

BS's fight so hard for there M , I think when you get to this point its kind of scary to say the least ..

I feel it is important to keep in mind that it is real and not to go back and want to punish FWS for there mistake ..

Any way I was asked by a fellow MB to give an up date , because she told me that at times my M seemed so HOPELESS that it gave her hope that anything is possiable if you are determined and really belive .. (SHMI LOL )

I can't begin to tell you that with out the support of some here I would not have made it .

Thank YOu all for beliving in me and the way I did things cause as some of you know I didn't follow by the book on MB princepals .. I am not saying they are not great I am saying that I had to follow my heart , and jump in trusting the MAN I feel in LOVE with ..

I know the word trust is very scarey and it has been abused by WS's so why the hell would i do that ,, Well I don't know it felt RIGHT ..

As I could find the man I M through the fog I trusted him , no some times his actions did not meet his words , but the DRAMA he put himself through as well as me I do belive caused him enough pain to understand it was not worth it ..

Because I was dealing with contact while H lived at home , I went through hell and I came to terms with Ow and how I feel about her ..

I thought I hated her ,, I pitty her , I thought I wanted her dead ,, I want her to live that is much worse to have to deal with for herself , looking at herself everyday and knowing the kind of person she is ..

I also rember to say to myself every day that he is with me .

Ok well wanted to share and just give hope to anyone out there who may need something to hang on to that recovery is possiable .. No matter how bad the situation looks .

I am not the best hate expessing myself , there is alot more I would like to say , I will be posting . Thank you all again for the ongoing support I continue to have here .

3,
Thanks for the update. Glad to hear that things are going well after such a long uphill struggle.
Keep us posted, it is always good to hear the recovery stories, the triumphs and the challenges, you know first hand how much that helps others.
Good luck, keep up the good work, your H is fortunate that you are such a strong and persistent, loving woman!!

I remember a time (and not that long ago) when you had wondered if there were any success stories out there. I am SO GLAD your M is one of them!!!!

Your tentativeness in how well recovery will last is deserved, but like when you first got Married, you didn't know what to expect. This is the same deal...I guess that's why they call it Faith in each other.

I am thankful your story has a happy ending (beginning?) and you can (and have) been a great help for MBer's, and will continue to be!

Let's hear it everybody!!!

3 cheers for 3!!!!!
Hurrah!!
Hurrah!!
Hurrah!!

(Sound of Applause!!)

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

A bit of a delema coming up , I would like some input on how to handle the hole thing . some advice please ..

OW's birthday is approaching very soon , its not just any "B" day its her 30th.

Ok so heres the thing its bothering me cause this is when ow rears her ugly head ,, holidays ect.

I know my H been very good at telling me everything and I don't dought that if she calls he will tell me ..

I guess what I am trying to say is do I even mention it or just see what happens ..

The phone call from her GF's H is still bothering me ,what happens if he is trying to get in touch with him to invite him to a suprise party for her ..???

I know this shouldn't concern me right ?? as long as H is not answering calls right ??

I feel like if he gets an invite he might actually want to go , why? because he will say well if I go and say HB then she will continue to not call ,, by not going she may get mad and call more ..
OK this is crazy ,, I shouldn't even be concerned about this , I had such a weird dream and it just sparked all this $hit inside me ..

This N/C is just so new and we are doing so well I want no set backs of any kind ,, not even one that would be an issue of OW ..

I mean there is really nothing left to cover ,, we have talked about the A so much and uncovered just about everything I care to know ..

I know there will be times like this ,, I guess I should just have faith and tell him my thoughts , and ask him to be on gaurd at work to not answer that phone ..

Its sad to say I really wish some days that he would get fired .. I know thats horriable , ow doesn't even work with him .. Its that phone and beeper that can't be changed and being on call 24/7 thats the killer ..

He finnally mentioned to his boss about changing the numbers and he said, no .. not at this time ..

Only cause the company just finished getting all the phones organized .. He did not tell him the real resoan just that he gets alot of hang up calls and it wastes minutes .. (thats what I told him to say )

Well I guess I will just let him know my insecuritys and see what he says ,, He has been very good at helping me through them ..

Thanks for listening , just was feeling alittle gittery after that dream ..

Hi 3, I wouldn't worry about or mention OW's birthday. Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.

Sorry, they're running me out of the office. (TGIF)! I'll try to check later this weekend. If not, have a great weekend! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

3,

I emailed you!!!

Will be praying for you this week, and will post next weekend when I get back from vacation.

Keep up the good work, you are doing great. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M

MM just got your e-mail will talk to ya soon have a great time !

TO4T , good to here from ya hope all is going well .

Well I talked to H about it any way , H was ok , he basicly said, I understand how you feel , But lets just deal with it when and IF it should happen instead of getting stressed thinking of the what ifs and having her affect our life ,,, when she is not even in it ..

I know he is right I can't dwell on the what ifs because then she still has control to a degree .

I mean she may not try anything then all I did was waste my thoughts on her and depress myself and also give my H resaon to think of her ..

So I just told him to please be on his gaurd when it comes to answering that cell phone , he said, he will . If its her then just hang up .. don't listen , get sucked in , in any way .

He said , I know . HE said, we don't have control of what she does , just what we do .

I am off to a block party today , what a trigger , last year he spent the day on the phone with her the hole time YUK!!!!

Any way be well all . H out of the shower , got to go play !! LOL