Haven't been here in a long time... After doing a poor plan b and not thinking the WW was ready to move back in me I told her she could not. She moved in with my sister this caused more problems with lies between what she would say to me and what my sister would see happening. She decided to move with OM who was better at getting her not to have contact with me then I was with getting her to stop contact with him. Summer time came and my daughter stayed with WW and OM. Limited contact with me by WW during this time. She called twice to talk about daughter both time at the end of conversation she said she loved me. I ended with same plus let me know if your ready to work on our marriage. End of summer and daughter is to come back for school year, only problem is she dosen't want to come back. At WW and OM place she can do after school activities as WW works part time. Daughter is 8yrs old. I understand she is happier there right now, but I'm going to go nutts with out my little girl. I've found over the summer I can't even be at home, it's to empty. WW is back to being mad at me because I want my daughter with me. I still love my wife, and miss my child. I don't know how to get this thing right again. WW says she fell out of love while I was working long hrs. and not spending enough time with her... She's looking for me to go to after school things like soccer and cheerleading. But I live in Illinois and their in Indiana about 1 hr. away 2hrs after I get home from work (work 2 home 1 hr., home 2 WW/OM house 1hr.). Will be hard to do and will do it to see my little girl but should I view this as WW wanting to see if I find time to spend with them, she says OM won't be at games... What to do, don't even know if any of this makes sense to anyone but me...

Your marriage has a much chance of being saved as a snowball's chance in he** while your WW is living with the OM. Of course you cannot force her to end her A with the OM but you can certainly stop being a part of that triangle by implementing Plan B. Your WW is mad at you because she wants you to go out of your way to visit her and thus have some of her EN's met by her.

While your 8 year old little girl is a concern and you want to be a good dad to her, your time with her is severely limited by the distance between households and your job, so unless you can find a job where your WW lives, you have to accept that reality. Your WW's desire for you to attend your daughter's soccer and chearleading practices has nothing to do with you fulfilling your obligations as a father but so that she can see you and thus satisfy some of her EN's.

Implement Plan B NOW and go visit your daughter as much as your job and time permit it.

What is it about my situation that makes it so helpless??? I have read things from others that have worse situations then me and they are given hope. What about mine is worse then others here???

Those that you mentioned as having been in a worse marital situation than yours finally understood that there was no hope to save their marriages while their WS's were living with the OP. They realized that they needed to protect their remaining love they had for their WS's by going into Plan B otherwise their love banks were going to close and their desire to save their marriages would be gone. IMNSHO you need to implement Plan B now.

What a very sad story and what a horrible message and lesson that has been given to your 8 year old daughter. The lesson is that your wife felt it was not only acceptable to cheat on her husband and father of her child but that it is now
acceptable to live with the OM and having your daughter live with them also. I guess she will grow up to believe why bother to get married at all since if you don't like it you can always live with the cheating partner in crime. I don't see how your daughter will not have a warped image of marriage.

I agree with Too Much Coffee. Your wife has a life, sex and a home with the OM now and apparently she would like you to be a type of OM that can meet some of her emotional needs. How great for her to live with her lover and have her daughter with her and also have her husband come and visit every once in a while and tell her he loves her also. How great for her and how awful for you. Follow Too Much Coffee's advise in order to have any shot or she will simply be another cakewoman who will stringing you along for her benefit.
I am curious why does she have the right to move your child to another state without your permission and to live with her lover while still being married to you? I would contact an attorney.
I wish you luck.

She has visitation rights for the summer. Durring the summer my daughter decided she liked living back in Indiana (we lived there before A, I moved to Illinois with concent from WW with our D). I have to decide if I wish to let her go to school out there, she will be with family (sister-in-law, mom-in-law) after school to be able to do things after school. If she returns home to me as court says I can have her do she will be in after school care and not able to do Cheerleading, and Soccer. I wish it could be done but I can't find a way as I know few people here after moving to Indiana 7 yrs ago. Should I have D move back with me even though she wishes to stay with mom? I know there is no way to keep this from harming her, I just wish to find a way to do as little harm as I can...

YOu should be doing everything legally possible to bring your daughter back to your home. What kind of lesson is your daughter learning from seeing her married mother shacking up with another man.