OK I really don't get this.

3 1/2 months ago my WW reverse plan B's me as she needs time and space.

So I respect her request

Week 6 - I email WW about picking up her mail and I tell her I will leave it in the mail box for her.

(well she knocks on the door to say hello and we talk for 15 min.)

Week 9 - I email WW about picking up her mail and ask if she's still in the affair and were our relationship fits into her life.

(WW doesn't awnser question about the affair and now says she doesn't know about our future. Before it was "over, just move on" the emails get a little heated so I end things by saying I will leave mail in the mail box. Well WW emails and ask if we can get a drink. And we do.)

Week 14 - I email WW about picking up mail and tell her I will leave it in the mail box again. Very short and to the point.

(well my car was at home but I wasn't. I get a freindly email from my WW that she knocked on the door to say hello. She also thanked me for the little gift I put in with her mail. And that she hoped I had a great weekend)

What I don't get is - I reach out alittle and WW responds. WHY?

BTW - I let her email go without a response. One wasn't really needed but under normal conditions I would have. I'v also decided not to contact WW again but let her initiate the next contact.

Is this a good idea or should I reach out every month or so???

Goodguy,

Are you in plan B or not? If not do you want to go to plan B? It seems to me that she is perfectly happy with the situation right now, and as long as you seem happy her guilt is removed.

So does the contact with her, make your love grow or diminish?? If it is the latter, the plan B is where you should be.

Those are my thoughts on the matter.

God Bless,

JL

Good point JL.

I hate how the WS has freedom to do as they please as long as it makes them happy.

Just Learning,

No I'm not in Plan B.

I'd say I'm in a modified reverse Plan B. My WW was the one who requested time and space 3 1/2 months ago. Likely meening I want my affair without you disrupting me because were finished.

She did get a plan B type letter without the words until OM is gone done ever talk to me again.

So I'm respecting her space, not pursuing her and Plan A ing when the oppertunity presents it's self.

gg007:

Plan B works best when you've had a chance 2 do a good plan A. Your W didnt' give you that chance, but you've done a reasonable job since she left, it sounds. I think I would have responded 2 the last email, but it really is up 2 you. Try 2 do a "remote plan A" for a few more months, so long as you can be non-LBing when you do have contact, take your W on dates if she'll go (and you can not LB). If she's still having an A, then maybe OM will get jealous (a great thing!). If her A really is over, then seeing her occasionally might help her 2 realize that you can reconcile. She might not think you'll ever forgive her at this point.

Best,
-ol' 2long

2long,

Your right I have not had much chance to Plan A and I feel strong enough to Plan A when I can right up to the day my WW decides to file for divorce. Then I will go Plan B.

WW affair is still ongoing but the preasure will soon be increased. OM has been N/C by his BS (about two weeks) and will soon feel additional preasure to leave affair.

I have confirmation that OM hasn't been exactly faithfull to my WW and I'm going to confront him with this soon. I'm disgusted that he's involved in my marriage and I'am increasingly disgusted that he's messing with my WW head.