Are we moving into recovery? My WH and I were talking yesterday about him coming home. I told him two more weeks. My reasoning is because we just hired an accountant to take care of our bills, and I wanted to be well established in this routine before he comes home. He would LB against me about the bills. <BR>H also said he’s not sure if he wants to come home yet. I asked why and his response was that he was afraid things would go back to way it was. I agreed that is one of my fears, too. <P>I am scared that things won’t change. I know I can try to hold up my end of meeting my H’s ENs, but I’m afraid he wont hold up his end. He likes to go out to the bar or fishing with his friends. Thus leaving me sit at home , again. I feel like I come in second place. I’ve talked to him about this and didn’t get a response. When I start to complain about him going out all the time, he says don’t start…(another words don’t put me on a guilt trip).<P>Please give me suggestions…<P><BR>

M&J,<BR>No suggestions, just understanding. My H is VERY good at pointing out all of the things I did wrong, to cause him to seek happiness in the arms of OW. However, he just can't get himself to see his part in the breakdown of our marriage. I can relate totally to taking a backseat to friends, family, his truck, his boat, his yard, you name it, I'm below it on his list of priorities. When I try (lovingly, I might add) to point this out to him, he claims I'm overexxagerating, I'm being ridiculous, etc. I'm beginning to wonder if he will ever take responsibility for his faults. All of my family and friends have seen how he has treated me over my whole marriage. My kids also see it, because they are low on his priority list as well. Why can't he see it? I don't know. I DO know that I am no longer willing to settle for being treated as less important than I am. Only time will tell (and with counseling, I hope he will be able to see some things from my side) if my H will ever be able to want to contribute to our marriage. I just wanted you to know that I know how you are feeling.