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well, my wife finally came home after 5 weeks away job training. (told me 4 weeks ago that we were divorcing OUT OF THE BLUE). so she called me sat morning and said to come over and we'd split finances. nervous, i agreed. went over and did just that: finances. like a business transaction. i tried to be as cool as possible, but it was very frustrating. her mom and sis were there, and were just quiet. mom said I was doing a great job when wife was in other room. i sighed. she had even taken more of my stuff and put it out on the porch before i got there. also separated kitchen stuff and put in on counter for me. wasnt expecting that! I built her up a computer to use, and cleaned my stuff up. <p>yesterday (sunday) I finally had to buy a car. so went down and got a little commuter ford focus hatchback. felt much better that my major needs were finally met. (except unconditional love of course!) called up wife and told her what i was doing, she was nice and excited for me.<p>today sucked! (monday) went to bank, insurance, tax guy, and a few others w/ her to finalize accounts. mind you she hasnt even GONE to the courthouse yet. it was a rough morning. nice to be w/ her, but rough. when i got to "our" apt, she had painted it yesterday and bought some new furniture. was very hurtful to see her MOVE ON so quickly. we all 4 went to lunch being starved, and had a decent time. i was quiet and not looking forward to the "END". then stopped by my new place to pick up her maxima that she needs to sell. they came in and saw our 2 dogs, and my wife started to cry. it WAS SO HARD. I started to cry as well and had to go to the other room. sounded like she really broke down. our younger dog misses her so much, and she felt it. (don't know if I was included in those tears) I dried off, came back in, and we said our good byes. I told her to take the dogs for a few days. she said she couldnt do that. <p>well, closed the door and wept in my room for a few minutes. had to release all the anxiety that built up all morning. man, it hurt, it really hurts even right now! <p>not 2 mins later, the door rang. she was there w/ noticable tears and asked about the a/c not working. I said it had been working fine and she should drop it by. she could tell I had been crying. she hesitated to turn and leave, and I opend my arms. she accepted and we hugged and cried for a few seconds. i told her in her ear that I LOVED HER deeply and that when she wanted to talk, I would be here to listen. We then said goodbye and that's the last i saw. Had to work this evening, and it was hard. I broke down talking to mom and dad earlier. still was releasing emotion. <p>whew, this is hard. i hope and pray, but am preparing for her decision. it was nice to finally see some emotion, something that resembled what I was married to a short month ago. <p>they were planning on heading to court after leaving me, i really hope they didnt. but that's all it is, hope.<p>just hope and pray w/ me. got my DB book this afternoon. will start it tomorrow. i'm too emotionally drained to do any reading tonight. <p>Jon<p>[ March 26, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ March 27, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ March 29, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ March 29, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ May 05, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]</p>

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Jon, may God make you strong... My prayers are with you... I would like to say do not give up hope and do not stop trying at this point... Come here often for support as we will be here for you!<p>God Bless

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WOW- your awesome Jon. The wauy you took it all in stride and ended the day with a loving offer... Man, a lot of MB'ers would have been here posting how angry and vilatd they feel... YOu have a real capacity for love. <p>Keep your chin up and your heart open. God has to have some sort of plan in mind here and I am sure it is all for your good.

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well, not to fast, HH. she served me papers today. I was doing work, she called and asked if they could come over. I asked where they were, she said court house! my knees buckled. I drove home, crying and shaking my head, SO SCARED! I did NOT want it to happen. I came home, and wept. they showed up, came in. Her sis, mom, and her. came into kitchen, I asked what the deal was, and her mother handed me papers and said that I was served. I couldnt believe it. mom and sis were NOT HAPPY being there. they were very sad, and teary eyed.<p>I looked at amanda and told her "I don't agree w/ this. This is the easy way out and I don't agree. I want counselling, and then I would accept it. I asked her if this was REALLY what she wanted. She answered yes, then went outside.<p>i was so frustrated. i was crying and speaking out it disbelief that this was too easy and too painful. I was just shaking my head. here sister started to cry out loud, and she was wheeping w/ me. I told her it would be ok. I then asked if they would like to pray w/ me, and they both gladly accepted in tears. I prayed, and I felt strong. I felt at peace, sad, but at peace. I prayed for sis and her husband (who are having some troubles), and mom and her husband (who have had troubles for 30 years). I asked God to make us stronger people and to please let amazing things happen in the next 6 month waiting period. <p>guys, it was SO HARD! the most painful thing I have ever done. but I felt better after. I felt that some mysteries were becoming revealed. that if she was REALLY this cold, and unwilling to meet a CHANGED man at the door and walk through w/ him, then she wasnt for me. if she wants to chase money, success, and paid-for items, then don't let the door knock you in the [censored] on the way out! <p>so much emotion. SO MUCH PAIN. I'm not a perfect man, but I'm a good man that loved unconditionally. I want to keep fighting, but dont feel the energy now. I feel the war is almost over. I feel that all I can do is pray. <p>What to do now? well, I decided to go flying this afternoon. I soloed a month ago ()Picturesright before she dropped this misery on our marriage and hadn't been since. I was ready to fly again, to spread my wings and take to the sky. It felt great. Was a little rusty on the landings, but cheated death one more time [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Life will go on, don't know what will be in the future. I still pray that she meets me at that door of commitment, but only time will tell. <p>Any suggestions would be appreciated.<p>a very tired Jon

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Jon.......don't know what to say about the divorce, but thanks for the link to the pictures ...the home brewery was especially interesting.<p>hugs and prayers.......

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[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] glad you liked the pictures. had a blast building it. i like to do weird and exotic things now and then. not much of a drinker, but really like beer, and love to build [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] it's for sale, BTW. $1500 OBO [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jon

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<p>[ April 04, 2002: Message edited by: pam_blue ]</p>

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Jon..
Sad story but at least you have the guts to face what you are dealing with like a man and start making a life for yourself. I commend you for that...Its tough..but hang in there..There is a better life over the horizen for you...Maybe there is still a chance..and I pray there is for you but I really have to say I am impressed that with all that you are faced with and being handed papers..at least you are moving on with your life..and LIVING LIFE..That is wonderful..No need to tell you to get a life..You have one...Praying for you...You are strong and you will make it..I admire your strength...You are not whining, begging an pleading for her to come back..that only makes you more attractive as a person..People that are confident, strong and face their fears are way more attractive to the WS than one that whines, begs, pleads and gets obsessive...I truly truly admire you! ( I think its MikeC or MC2 who has a great saying...let me search and I will send it to you)<p>PS: I am within hours of receiving my Rotary Wing Pilots License..... [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

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Here it is..from MikeC2....I love this..and its VERY TRUE...<p>He has on his signature block...ATTRACTIVE= strong, confident, happy, fun, giving, kind, communicative, honest<p>Glad you have not lost your self respect in all this..and I think you are doing great..Hang in there..don't lose hope yet but more important...Don't LOSE yourself in this and I see you have not done that...<p>
Stay Strong Jon

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All I can say is that I am thinking of you and feeling your pain. You sound like a great guy and I will be praying for you. I wish my husband was as sensitive as you. She should realize how lucky she is, but sometimes you don't until it is too late. I wish you only good things.

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thanx for the support. last night was good, was w/ friends and support. but i had a dream that woke me. was pleading w/ wife in a hotel room, but she just kept working on her computer. futile! it's hard to face today KNOWING what i do now. took all my energy to face the papers still sitting in the kitchen. so hard to believe, so much emotion. my wife petitioning for nullification and she taking HER name back! it was all a dream [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>well, thanx again,<p>Jon

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NO THANKS NEEDED...I'm proud of you!!<p>Stay Strong..

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man, i'm really in denial that this whole thing is going to happen. please can someone push the fast-forward button on the remote for me [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] whew, just had to vent.<p>May those who give up so easily please receive the wisdom that I'm praying they receive. Give me some of it as well, amen.<p>Jon

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Jon, I am going to hang in recovery forum....you are welcome over there...its much more positive and there are many people in recovery with or without their spouses..also for you since you have actually been served with papers..not to say that you have no hope..there still is but I think the forum of divorcing/divorced may help you..I know you don't want to think along that path but people in your same boots are there..and can help you too...<p>Check in the recovery room when you can and post..and let me know how you are doing...<p>Take care Jon..You are going to be ok..based on your posts and what you have said..I have all the faith in you..you are strong, confident and will make it..and its okay to cry, its normal to grieve for something lost..that is okay....<p>
I admire you....hang tough..and don't get trampled on or taken atvantage of..<p>your new car sounds great [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>let me know about your flying and how that is going...I am sooo happy about mine and studying for my BIG FAA coming up...<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I won't be back here but check in with me in Recovery if you can and let me know how you are doing..<p>I am SUPER DUPER PROUD of you!!

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Jon,<p>Wow...what I wouldn't give for my H to be more like you. I might have missed it, but how long have you been married ? You are doing a SUPERB job at being level headed. I commend you on that. H and I have been separated for 1 month now. It was H's doing. Said he needed "space". I'm doing just that but it is hard. Keep praying and keep faith in that God will prevail. I had an email from a friend last week that had a quote that I taped to my computer screen. It has helped me greatly. "If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it". <p>God Bless You,<p>KentuckyGirl

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Hey, Jon,<p>I just had to step in here and tell you with the others that you are doing a great job. It's got to be really hard. I will say a prayer for you, too.<p>BTW, being a beer drinker myself, that is a VERY cool home brewery! I noticed the dark beer in your hand, I like sissy-light beer!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I'd like to try making some someday. We've made brandy before but never beer. My brandy came out excellent this year. Made from my neighbors pear tree. Was a HUGE hit over the holidays!<p>Is it 5 oclock yet? I'm getting thirsty!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hang in there guy & stay strong!!

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well, been a tough few days. i had work out of town for 2 days, and got back last night. been doing better, but still have times.<p>interesting thing this morning: stbx went to Los Angeles for more training till tonight. easier when she's not so near. well, got a call on my cell this morning. it was her, and she was crying. she was crying pretty good. i asked if she was ok? she said pretty good until this morning. she said she had ups and downs and imagined I knew what it was like. Oh yes, how I know what that is like. i had told her mother that I would probably give her 1 of our dogs if she wanted, as 2 would be too much for me right now. stbx said her mother had mentioned it to her and asked if I could bring the little one over tonight. she asked if I would be around, i said i could be if she wanted. I told her to be strong and get through the day and abbey (dog) would comfort her tonight.<p>Dont know if she's having second thoughts. I have been wounded to my core, and dont know if I can survive this one more time. i dont know what to expect from her. i dont know whether to embrace her if she opens up, or let her know that right now the only place we should meet is at counseling if she so desired. i know what the easy thing to do would be is buckle at the knees and come running home to her. but at what expense? <p>any suggestions? when she opened up on monday and cried in my arms, it felt soo good. but her serving me papers on tuesday was a gut-wrenching knife wound twice as painful. didn't blow out my candle, but crushed it!<p>How do I let her know that I'm serious and no bull****? I want to change our marriage, but can't handle being a doorstep.<p>thanx for the support and sharing,<p>Jon<p>[ March 29, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]</p>

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Hi Jon<p>For someone going through something so tramatic you are doing great! I read some of your posts, but I didn't see why it was that your W wanted a divorce. Were you fighting about something? It sounded as if everything was fine and then all of a sudden your W wants a divorce.

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ammc:<p>im as confused these days as to the TRUE reason, but she has givent hints:<p>-likes and respects 'herself' more at work than when at home w/ me. Acts differently? (don't we all?)
-feels she's been working too hard at relationship and not been happy for a while (fooled everyone around us!)
-we're not compatible (what can I say?)<p>things I will regret all of my life:
-not getting flowers and writing cards more often
-meeting her sensual needs w/ my sexual needs more
-TRUE communication and COMPLETE honesty
-taking marriage and love for granted
-not thinking w/ my heart more instead of my head.<p>
This saga has been a devistating and life-changing event. I never thought. . . <p>I don't know what to expect tonight. I don't know if she just is hell bent on mourning this marriage and forcing herself to just get over me. Or if she will agree to work on what's been destroyed. I will probably have a better understanding tomorrow, but hope is something that got my heart smashed last tuesday when she served me the D papers.<p>whew, im nervous to see her. my heart skips still, and that hurts. just getting prepared to accept the worst.<p>Jon

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well, went and picked up rest of stuff and dropped little abbey off (dog). she was there, cold and collected. i asked her how she was, she said 'sad'. i told her i was sad too. does this make sense? why isn't your answer 'relieved' or 'happy' or 'free'. when i spoke w/ you on the phone this morning, why were you crying? i hope you dont think you're doing me any favors by this. set a time frame up, go to counseling, explore ourselves in detail, AND THEN, AND ONLY THEN throw in the towel if you so desire. to make up your mind on a business trip and tell me over the phone? crush my heart only when you don't have to deal with it? damn you cold woman.<p>i asked her again if she would go to counseling w/ me, she said no.<p>well, amanda, have a great life. i loved you, and you left me. i FINALLY want to understand this game, and now you forfeight. do you understand that NOW I GET IT and will do anything in my power to make this marriage work and make the changes in my life to achieve that goal? but now you want to give up. for better or for worse? i guess not. you said you havent been happy for a while? quite a front you put on then. you lied to me for so many years? you lied about being so glad that we married. you lied about getting old together. you lied about me becoming a great father to our children someday. you're lying to yourself if you think this path is the ONLY choice at this time! you lied to ME, you lied to YOU, you lied to our family and friends, and only God knows if you lied to him. you have hurt me to my core, and i weep! have a great life!<p>a very frustrated and beat,<p>Jon
[img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>PS: tomorrow is another day [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

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Jon-
I am new to your story, but not to your words of pain. I will be praying for you tonight.

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JON}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>Just wanted to let you know, I read this and I am so sorry.

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I am so very sorry for your pain. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>We've ALL been there at one time or another, and it hurts s000000000 bad!<p>Just know you're being heard tonight.

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DAMN this LOGIN problem! I had the post ALL finished, and now it's GONE! Arghhh!<p>So, in essence:<p>I'm going into a weird area of the divorce process I like to call no-wife's land of marriage. We've split the assets, I moved out, she served me the papers, and I'm going to default out and not contest. (no kids/house) I let her know when her mother served me the papers that I disagreed w/ this! That I wanted therapy/counseling and time before such a drastic decision. She didn't agree. So we've pretty much separated and no real reason for her to be around me unless she wants to. I hope she calls, but won't be waiting by the phone until then! <p>One thing you guys might be able to help: I thought there could be several things I could do in the next 6 months to let her know that I care and love her, but also not beg and plead. Just to let her know I'm still here and just a nice guy without hostility. <p>One idea I had was to maybe drop her a letter every few weeks and just summarize what Max (our dog) and I have been up to. Nothing deep or too muchy, just info on things that we do. <p>any thoughts on that idea or any other suggestions? I just don't know what she will do. I know she will be busy for several weeks as her new job will take up alot of brain work. But when things settle down, it would be nice to let her know I care. <p>thanx for the support.<p>a sad but recovering,<p>Jon<p>also thought of sending her this article: HERE<p>maybe a bit much, but that pretty much summed up my last month.<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]</p>

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bump, sorry [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by JON:
<strong>We've split the assets, I moved out, she served me the papers, and I'm going to default out and not contest. (no kids/house) I let her know when her mother served me the papers that I disagreed w/ this.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I am not familiar with the divorce process. Did you sign something that said you woud not contest the divorce? Is that not an option for YOU to decide? Froma legal persepective, what happens next?

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HH,<p>in CA you can have a default judgement. basically she serves me. I have the right to counter-sue (file my own petition). I also have the right to do nothing. she then goes back to courthouse and signs a notice of default judgement assuming I won't do anything. then 6 month wait and it's over. unfortunately so simple! <p>Jon

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I read the 'walkaway wife' article. Did you send it? What did she think?

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thats the question i kind of was wondering about: would it be too pushy to send it to her? I haven't and dont know if I will. Hard to know where she is at right now...how close she is on the teater-totter. I'm just in the dark over here, and guessing I'll just have to work on me alone.<p>Jon

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Jon,<p>May those who give up so easily please receive the wisdom that I'm praying they receive. Give me some of it as well, amen.<p>Hang in there. I would like to say that you have dealt with this admirably, and I would like to praise you for not giving up so easily. The best way to convey how I feel is that I wish my H had your committment and patience. <p>It hurts sometimes and it is hard to deal with. Take baby steps through it all, and trust in God and yourself. Take comfort in that you are doing all you can do, and you are not the one that gave up. It's a small comfort, but sometimes it's a bunch of small comforts that make the difference.

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<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by JON:
<strong>thats the question i kind of was wondering about: would it be too pushy to send it to her? Jon</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Pushy? Somehow I have trouble imagening you being pushy. Darn good think your not a salesman Jon. <p>I suggest you give it to her ASAP. <p>How long do you have to contest the divorce? Are you happy with the terms?

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HH, i've got 6 months to contest the divorce. i have what i need. it may be tough, but i'm not gonna be going for alimony or anything like that. as far as being satisfied? well, i would be satisfied if she would call me up and put some water on this fire [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] slow down, nelly! put a jerk on those reigns, baby! geeze, get out of the fast lane with this one! but I don't know.<p>It's interesting HH though that i've gotten so much different advice. Some say NO, don't give her anything right now, as that might push her further away and more resentful. Others say YES, it could open her mind. Unfortunately none of us know what or how she will react if I did. Her mother told me that she is NOT ready to talk. Maybe I should take that advise, as it seems to be the closest liason to her.<p>I don't know right now. If she's not open to communication and thinks I'm trying to CHANGE her mind, I just don't know. . . <p>well, thanx for the replies,<p>Jon

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i emailed her this afternoon. just told her Max and I had a great weekend out at the dunes. then wrote if she had 15 seconds, to click to the article link. she responded "nice article, glad you and max had a great weekend". then get this, she told me that 'our' car just got finished at the shop (A/C went out) and asked if 'we' could take it up to MY friends used-car lot so that 'we' could get it sold. if you don't know the saga of the car, there was a disagreement about it. she had insisted that I not drive it because loan was in her name. i had asked to drive it (i commute for a living) until it sold then take the equity and buy another. she refused, and I agreed to take several thousand $$, buy another car, and just give that car to her to sell. so now she wants 'US' to sell 'our' car. hmmm, i really don't want to bend over any more, as my hands are already wrapped around my toes.<p>so how much of a friend should I be?<p>Jon<p>[ April 02, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]<p>[ April 02, 2002: Message edited by: JON ]</p>

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Well, thought I would bump this up the walls of pain here [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] It's been just over a month since my last post. I guess I'm just human, and we get worn out sometimes. Nothing too much to report now that I have gone dark w/ no communication. Just moving on w/ my life and still praying that this ends up w/ the best outcome, whatever it may be.<p>I met w/ her once a few weeks ago at a coffee shop to iron out some remaining tax issues and bills. Sat down and showed her a phone bill that I received from when she was training in chicago. I told her we could split it, and she proceeded to explain that she was away during that period and did not use 'our' phone, so she wouldn't pay it. Inside my mind i shook my head and realized what kind of meeting this would be. We had and extra $500 in taxes due as well, and I told her that since I would not be seeking spousal support, if we could split the remaining taxes according to our income. She did not like that idea at all! I realize that legally it is community property, but so is income to a certain extent. And since I was not going for her paycheck, it seemed only fair. (sorry, still trying to convince myself that I am a fair man) Well, we were communicating at totally diff. levels, and I finally had to take a time-out and go out to the car. Well, to shorten the story, I asked her if we could talk in her car, she agreed. I asked the 'why' question and braced myself. She began to tell me that our relationship had been all about me for the past 3 years. That she didn't like the person she was, and believed we were just incompatible people at the core. We spoke for a while, and I can't even remember all that I said. I just tried to be very honest w/ her about my feelings and hopes. One quote that will stick w/ me for the rest of my life: "Jon, I'm DONE trying, I'm just DONE!" Man, I wanted to lash out and ask her 'who the F#$@ she thought she was?' If she thought I had ESP and could read the unhappiness in our relationship out of thin air? A very frustrating point. Well, we ended the evening w/ me going back to her place and getting my TV that she insisted I take. It was cordial, and I offered a hug before I left. She half-heartedly accepted it, and I was off.<p>That was the last time I saw her physically. A few emails lately about bills and such. One particularly interesting one I sent w/ a paragraph at the bottom just being real and telling her that I was doing fine, but that I did wish this could all just go away w/ a snap of the finger and just hold her again. I got a reply back saying "glad you're doing well, have a good weekend". <p>so that's where it's at. and to add, she is holding $2000 in 401k and rental deposit because she hasn't been able to sell the car I drove (loan in her name). She had insisted on me not driving her liability and instead wrote me a check for $3000 to go and buy another one. The car has roughly $4000 in equity at least, but she hasn't been able to sell it and thinks it will not sell for what “I” had thought. So now she says I can include the 401k $$ in the check she already wrote. I don't really know how to respond. I guess she really has a tough time w/ commitment to promises when things don't go exactly the way she plans them to, ironically.<p>So the tears have dried up. I can't seem to cry anymore. Life is moving on. I got another job (big opportunity) and have doubled my workload overnight. Is a good thing right now to keep busy. It's really confusing as to what to do now though. It seems that I'm just playing the waiting game, and that any communication w/ wife is taken WAY out of context and turned around into negative feelings by her. <p>Do I really want her back? Honestly, I couldnt answer that. I am SO disappointed in her ability to write our marriage off so quickly! Is love really so conditional? I have to hand it too her, if she wanted me to get over her in the quickest way possible, she's done a fabulous job!<p>Human emotion, man it's interesting! I struggle w/ the idea of forgiving your spouse and moving on. Can I forgive her? I don't know. I don't know that it's a one-way street. Can it be done w/out apology? I know the wayward spouses are in a “Fog” and not thinking clearly now. But to stretch it a bit, when someone robs another, or even rapes another, aren’t they in a “fog” as well? Do we forgive them so easily. I know it’s a stretch, but seriously. I understand if marriages include physical, substance, or mental abuse, or other extraneous circumstances. But when someone leaves on a whim after keeping their feelings pent up inside all the while? All I can remember is how my wife would remind me how glad she was to be married to me. How ‘low-maintenance’ of a woman she was and how lucky I was for that fact. How she could hardly wait to have children w/ me, and grow old and saggy together. How much better our sex-life was becoming. Does that sound like “Jon, our marriage is in DEEP jeopardy, we need counseling now!” ? W/out giving change or love an opportunity? I really feel robbed of almost 4 years of my life. Like a ‘leased’ rather than a ‘bought’ [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] It really is silly. So can I forgive that? I KNOW I don’t respect that!<p>Well, sorry to ramble on. I really enjoy just putting feelings down on paper. I have compiled a Bulletin Board file that I’ve saved all these threads on. It is already, but will be even more interesting a year down the road.<p>Ciao,<p>Jon

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I found another post w/ that great article on forgiveness. thanx to whomever posted it. was very interesting and answered some of my questions of internal struggles I have been experiencing.<p>I'm still trying to decide whether to just write off any more contact w/ my wife regarding finances. Per an agreement we made she owes me roughly $1800 which would pay off my credit card and help quite a bit. But I could survive without it.<p>whew, long day at the office. i got another job ontop of full-time school and my previous computer-service gig. today was a damn stressful day, w/ a sore throat to boot. Man, what really makes me sad is that i don't have anyone to just hug. I could use one right now [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Oh well, life could be alot worse! A LOT! I think i'll go say my prayers,<p>Jon

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{JON}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<p>Hey, I know its not the real thing, but its the best I could do [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] !!!

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Jon,<p>You mentioned you spoke with her mother about your W. Remember blood is thicker than water, and so she is likely to be telling you whatever she thinks will help your W, not you. So I suppose what I'm saying is you can't trust your MIL to tell you the truth.<p>Best

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thanx kam, smiling and feeling a bit better. but now i've got to go study, so that will quickly erase [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>jon

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well, there went another month. time just flies when you're having fun! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] nothing has happened between us. I got a new job w/ a finance/realestate company, and that with school is keeping me plenty busy!! 1 more week till quarter is over, and then I will be able to breath. <p>last saturday i went to a childhood friends wedding. i've know both of them for years, and the emotion came pouring back into my life after having all but disappeared for several weeks. i REALLY listened to what the pastor had to say, and his definition of what marriage is all about. i just sat there and could only think of how true his words were. that was tough to hear, tough to realize how quick my 'first' one was. never could imagine of joining these ranks, but here i am!<p>well, life's been so busy. haven't been able to be around here too often. i hope all of you are doing well, and that we come out on the other side a lot stronger and wiser. <p>ciao,<p>Jon

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Jon, thanks for the update... I know it is hard as I am going through and ugly divorce right now.. I have children and the fact that my W thinks I, yes I, should just walk away from them, be a weekend dad and such... I told her... Just because you are unhappy I am the one to be punished... I do not think so. She finally agreed to go to mediation but not in the sense I would want to see. It will be a battle of lawyers and i still think we will end up in court... <p>You are handling this well under the circumstances.<p>Prayers

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Hi Jon, nice to meet you. I am new to this board so I just read your story. As I read I kept thinking of what Starfish said in an earlier post, that when her first H divorced her she was devastated, but because of that she met her current H who is so much more the love of her life.<p>I know things look/feel dark right now, but one day things will turn around and you will say I am so glad she left me.<p>What do you go to school for?

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thx ann. i'm finishing up bachelors degree in business. working my [censored] off after getting another job. 40 hrs office, 16 hrs school, and about 15 hours computer contract work hmm, does any of it make sense? ahhh, only 5 more days till finals are over, then a new day of challenges. <p>Jon

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