|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
I assume at this point it really doesnt matter...I just get upset to think that my only smoking gun on the affair is a series of goofy events and a wife that wont ever answer any questions. When asked of he is still there and if she is thinking about her...she says I dont know...and when I asked her point blank to asnwer yes or no..she wont answer. So I tell her that's my answer.then she throws out the you wouldnt believe me anyway.
Lastly...I get that I have been beat down and this is exactly why I am leaving. For my sanity
.tell me it's not me...these are not normal conversations.
I am finished packing now...still have her number blocked on my phone and I'm walking. Just trying to stop making mistakes.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
Moving right now..told my daughters. And that they are welcome to come with me anytime they'd like.
Told them I was going to un- pack tonight and just relax. The entire family is going to Taylor Swift on Saturday. That will be the last time as a family.
I know this is right long term...but man does it feel horrible .
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Moving right now..told my daughters. And that they are welcome to come with me anytime they'd like.
Told them I was going to un- pack tonight and just relax. The entire family is going to Taylor Swift on Saturday. That will be the last time as a family.
I know this is right long term...but man does it feel horrible . Glad you got out, but you need to CANCEL going to the concert. Don't see your wife again. I am sorry I told you otherwise but I didn't understand the timeline. They can go alone. You need to STEER CLEAR of your wife.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
So melody..all these conversations..I'm not crazy right?.. this guy is there.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I assume at this point it really doesnt matter...I just get upset to think that my only smoking gun on the affair is a series of goofy events and a wife that wont ever answer any questions. When asked of he is still there and if she is thinking about her...she says I dont know...and when I asked her point blank to asnwer yes or no..she wont answer. So I tell her that's my answer.then she throws out the you wouldnt believe me anyway.
Lastly...I get that I have been beat down and this is exactly why I am leaving. For my sanity
.tell me it's not me...these are not normal conversations.
I am finished packing now...still have her number blocked on my phone and I'm walking. Just trying to stop making mistakes. Stop talking about it. Don't ever ask her again. You already know she will lie. You have known this for 7 years. BUT, lets say the affair has not continued, which misses the point entirely, you still have to move away. She will always be wayward as long as she lives there, and may be that way for life now. She has been wayward for so many years that this is how she is now. So even if her affair did end, she would have another. GET OUT OF THERE AND DON'T LOOK BACK. The concert is not worth it. Tell your daughters that you can't stand to be around their mother and need to cancel. THEY WILL UNDERSTAND!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
So melody..all these conversations..I'm not crazy right?.. this guy is there. Yes, you are crazy. That is why you need to leave. You KNOW he is still your neighbor and you know your wife will LIE and LIE. GET OUT OF THERE.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I know this is right long term...but man does it feel horrible . I understand!! When I quit smoking Marlboros in 1998, it was horrible!!! I was miserable. For a couple of weeks. And then I felt better than I had in YEARS!! KEEP WALKING. You have a choice between short term pain - long term pain versus short term pain - long term GAIN. Choose the latter, my friend!!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
Agreed,,,
I am amazed that I still want her. Why would I want that??That is the part..but I guess if I could figure that out, something else would take its place.
The thing she said that caught my heart was while I was working so many days
She heard no so many times she have up.. I dont remember any of that...so I figured I was the one that caused it.
I know its redundant..just sharing
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Agreed,,,
I am amazed that I still want her. Why would I want that?? BECAUSE you have put yourself in a position where you have been mentally destroyed for years. It is not normal. You must get out of that toxic situation so you can think clearly. It will be an adjustment initially, but you will start recovering quickly once you are in a healthy environment. That is the part..but I guess if I could figure that out, something else would take its place.
The thing she said that caught my heart was while I was working so many days In other words, she blamed you for her crimes and you accepted that. Time for MrLogic!! That is a poor excuse for you to stay there and be mistreated for so many years. KEEP WALKING.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Are you out of there now? Did you give her your keys?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
In the car..I have a couple more trips to get all my stuff
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173
Member
|
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 173 |
She just asked me if the girls are ok with her staying here...I told her for once why dont you ask them...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Just keep moving. Are you going to your sisters? If so, can she support you in staying strong?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
She just asked me if the girls are ok with her staying here...I told her for once why dont you ask them... You are right. That is between her and the girls. What matters is that you don't live there anymore. Your girls need to understand why you can't live there. It has nothing to do with the fact that your wife has nowhere to stay. The sole reason is because you have to get away from the OM. That is like the rape victim living next door to the rapist. It has also completely destroyed any chance of recovery because your wife stayed fogged out.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
..I have always hoped she was telling me the truth and I was just wrong.. Ah yes I remember hope. Hope is not a plan. Most importantly hope is not happiness. You can be full of hope and yet be completely miserable. I have no need to hope for things these days because I have everything I need and the people who love me STRIVE to ensure that I do. I assume at this point it really doesnt matter...I just get upset to think that my only smoking gun on the affair is a series of goofy events and a wife that wont ever answer any questions. . You dont need a smoking gun. Her behaviour speaks volumes and is a deal breaker all of its own. It will only matter to you while she is in your system, like MelodyLane's cigarettes. Once you're clear of her influence you won't care about why you got out. You'll just be happy to be out. Plus you won't have anyone gaslighting you into believing what they want. GET OUT OF THERE AND DON'T LOOK BACK. The concert is not worth it. I so agree. Any pain you're feeling tonight (like amputating your own limb, right?) should be getting you closer to having completed withdrawal. But the concert will re-set your withdrawal clock to zero, putting all your efforts to waste. Closure involves closing the door; not nipping back through. Besides it sounds awfully depressing. Looking at her 'for the last time' and no doubt resenting her the entire time? Nooooo. I don't think Taylor would approve.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,574 Likes: 1
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,574 Likes: 1 |
nce you're clear of her influence you won't care about why you got out. You'll just be happy to be out. This will happen faster than you can imagine. I still wake up grateful every day.
Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13
Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
626
guests, and
35
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,621
Posts2,323,489
Members71,946
| |
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
