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Update: Dr. Harley responded and is helping us. He also offered to correspond with my husband and my husband has emailed him. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

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Originally Posted by Pummychal
Update: Dr. Harley responded and is helping us. He also offered to correspond with my husband and my husband has emailed him. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Yeah!! So glad to hear that!!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Pummychal
Update: Dr. Harley responded and is helping us. He also offered to correspond with my husband and my husband has emailed him. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!


Pummychai, please update us on the advice Dr Harley gives you and your husband. I think it would be so helpful for others. Thanks!


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

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I would be glad to, because I know if there is another me or my husband out there going through what we are, they will benefit from it.
So far, in Dr. Harley’s 1st email to me, he said his general impression is that my husband is still trying to pressure me to have sex with him, and that is causing the aversion to persist. He asked me for some more information and in his 2nd email to me he said he thought we resembled a couple he had helped. His recommendation would be for my husband not to touch me for a year unless I wanted and to and to only do what I ask him to do. He said the husband in the couple he helped was mad about it and complained to him at their sessions every week, but didn’t complain to her. Over time it worked and they make love almost every day.
I told my husband that I had emailed Dr. Harley and that he had responded and he seemed happy to correspond with Dr. Harley. I forwarded the last email Dr. Harley had sent me regarding the couple he helped. My husband didn’t voice any frustration regarding the suggestion Dr. Harley had and only said it was in line with what we had been trying to do; kind of like there was nothing he can do about it whether he liked it or not. My husband sent him an email, but I didn’t ask what he said in it, of course. That’s between he and Dr. Harley. He said Dr. Harley hadn’t answered yet. Maybe after the weekend.
I’ll keep you posted.

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Originally Posted by Pummychal
His recommendation would be for my husband not to touch me for a year unless I wanted and to and to only do what I ask him to do

That's great! How do you feel about the advice?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Very, very good.
And another update: Dr. Harley answered my husband and told him to share it with me and he did.
Dr. Harley said when my husband has completely eliminated the love busters, he will be ready to make love bank deposits by doing what it takes to meet my emotional needs. He said if he has not eliminated the love busters, the efforts to meet my needs will not translate into deposits, hence, I will not be in love with him. But when they are eliminated, and he is meeting my emotional needs, our marital problems will be behind us.

Awesome, huh?! I really believe Dr. Harley was an answer to our prayers.

I had a long conversation with my husband about it. It’s really tough, but we are going to take Dr. Harley’s recommendations and learn how we each define what the love busters are and both learn how to avoid them.
I feel very hopeful because I believe Dr. Harley can help us do this.

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I feel very hopeful for you now! Do you think your husband will follow through?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I believe he really wants to do what is right.

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