Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,788 Likes: 2 |
Basically she expects me to help her out in the immigration issue so that kids can be protected. She questioned me how kids are going to live without her if she has to go back to India. I advised her to get married to her AP who is citizen. Gname please don't assume your wife is telling you the truth. This is too important. Spend an hour with a reputable immigration lawyer and get the facts, find out what options you have.
3 adult children Divorced - he was a serial adulterer Now remarried, thank you MB (formerly lied_to_again)
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139 |
Gname please don't assume your wife is telling you the truth. This is too important. Spend an hour with a reputable immigration lawyer and get the facts, find out what options you have. Thank you living_well. I am fine with my immigration status. She may be in trouble. She mentioned to me this morning that she will have a week to marry her AP to be in this country. She has told the kids that otherwise, she did not plan to marry him. She is manipulating kids now. Another interesting thing - I asked her y'day. Do you still love me? Her answer is yes. I loved you all along.
Last edited by Gname; 11/21/19 09:45 AM.
Father of 2 beautiful daughters Ethnicity: Indian Betrayed Spouse (Father) DDay - 16 April 2019 Length of the wife's affair - not revealed by wife yet but proof available for a minimum of 2 years and a max of 3.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139 |
Thank you for sharing this Brian. This absolutely makes sense. As currently under the same roof, she walks up to me to talk about the kids' plan. Without knowing the concept above, I told her to agree with the kids and move forward with any activity they like.
Father of 2 beautiful daughters Ethnicity: Indian Betrayed Spouse (Father) DDay - 16 April 2019 Length of the wife's affair - not revealed by wife yet but proof available for a minimum of 2 years and a max of 3.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139 |
Hello Melody and Brian - I quickly wanted to update that my D was registered in court on Dec 5. My WS will receive the notification this week. I have an indoor and outdoor camera installed at home for kids' safety. I was looking through the camera to sort the fight between the two girls (10 & 13) and came across a very interesting conversation. My WS and her AP was having a major fight over the phone. She was yelling top of her lungs and lashing out at her AP for now showing the commitments needed. It happened over this weekend when I and my kids were not at home. Honestly, I enjoyed the yelling/shouting, etc. Subsequently, she picked a fight with my elder daughter who called her lier, etc. I was certainly moved by the misery she is in now, so talked to her this morning and advised her to take wise decision going forward in life. She started crying. I further hugged her told nothing further but make wise decisions in life. After that, I learned from a friend who is also her office colleague that she was having lunch with her AP.  .
Father of 2 beautiful daughters Ethnicity: Indian Betrayed Spouse (Father) DDay - 16 April 2019 Length of the wife's affair - not revealed by wife yet but proof available for a minimum of 2 years and a max of 3.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
Member
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
When will she be moving out?
FWW/BW (me) WH 2nd M for both Blended Family with 7 kids between us Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139 |
When will she be moving out? It will be dependent on how long the divorce process takes. I am noticing shifting positing in terms of what she wants and not. The biggest issue we have to resolve is not letting her AP come close to my girls. She is very vocal that she will not move out unless papers are signed. I am targeting no more that 6 months at this time. Her AP divorce was dragged for 18 months.
Father of 2 beautiful daughters Ethnicity: Indian Betrayed Spouse (Father) DDay - 16 April 2019 Length of the wife's affair - not revealed by wife yet but proof available for a minimum of 2 years and a max of 3.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139
Member
|
OP
Member
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 139 |
G'Day Melody and all other support members - sorry for being incommunicado for a while.
Just a quick update. My divorce got finalized on Dec 8, 2020. She stayed this home all throughout. Lawyers managed everything which now stands at 50:50. I am keeping the current home.
She also gets kids 50% but they have told her in no uncertain terms about not going or seeing the face of the other guy (also my ex-friend now). BTW she also married him on 12/14/2020 in court. Yes, you read it right - within a week. She came back this home and now packing her stuff and will likely leave soon after Christmas. Kids vehemently opposed but she had her own mind. I virtually had no communication with my ex for almost a year as it mostly resulted in an unpleasant argument.
My girls (14 and 11 now) are mostly fine. Elder one behaves with some maturity and talks to her Mumma mostly ok. The younger one has mostly distanced herself from her Mumma and invariably ends up saying lots of things which her mother sometimes fights back. She also admitted to the kids that her affair was going on for the past 4-5 years.
She is also working hard to reestablish her social contact. Friends are vacillating and confused about keeping or dropping the friendship with her. She is forcing herself everywhere by going the extra mile.
A new chapter will start for us hopefully post Christmas.
Thank you for all your support!
Father of 2 beautiful daughters Ethnicity: Indian Betrayed Spouse (Father) DDay - 16 April 2019 Length of the wife's affair - not revealed by wife yet but proof available for a minimum of 2 years and a max of 3.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,154
Member
|
Member
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,154 |
Glad to hear from you. I have been wondering how things turned out for you. Stay the Course to be a good role model for your children, as their only sane parent.
me, DH 5 children
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
0 members (),
195
guests, and
88
robots. |
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,495
Members71,967
|
Most Online3,185 Jan 27th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|