I have a photo of it.
I believe the OM will have nothing to do with her as best I can tell.
I think it was a PA and never an EA as best I can tell.
I was also told by one of my W friends that she had relations with a swinger as well.
My lawyer is on vacation now, so it is hard to get ahold of him.
As far as separation, I am staying in a separate room in our house.
I try to keep my distance as best as possible.
It’s hard, because I still want to be pals with my child, but W is around a lot,

So what is your plan to separate? Are you waiting for your lawyer to get back to make plans to separate? Does your wife know you are filing for divorce?

W knows I intend to divorce,
She does not want to spend the money, she thinks we can just go to the court house and divorce without lawyers.
W is very very smart, but has zero common sense.
We have been married about 21 years, way too involved for a simple divorce.
I don’t think OM knows she has an std.
I can’t believe she didn’t tell me about the std.
I am told that my county does not allow for a separation.
Also, I do not want to live in a different house from my child because W might get violent towards my son, because she has before.

I don't understand. Do you not plan on separating? Are you planning on getting full custody? I thought you had decided to get divorced. What is your plan?

I plan on divorcing, I plan on going for full custody.
My lawyer said in an email that I can not file for divorce in my state while she is pregnate.
I do not believe a legal separation in my county is an option.
My lawyer is out of town until after the new year, and I cannot get ahold of him / her.

Ok, I wouldn't think that a legal separation would be relevant since you have decided to divorce. I was thinking of a real separation.

Could you define what you mean by separation?

As far as leaving the house, I don’t want to do it at this point because she has been known to get violent. She might harm my child.
My lawyer told me in my state, I cannot divorce while pregnate.
I feel like I’m in a prison of sorts.
Anyone have any suggestions on how to get more evidence of the affair?
I have text messages from one of the many people in that house stating that W and OM had sex loudly, and my child was listening through the door.
As best I can tell, the affair is over and W does not go over there anymore.

Separation means to move into another home.

As far as getting evidence, I would get spyware on her phone if you can. Webwatcher has a built in GPS and wll track her texts and emails. Another way is to install a voice activated recorder where you think she might be having phone conversations.

My lawyer says in my state I must be a part of any conversation in order to legally record it.
I believe the affair was only a PA and never an EA, so I believe she does not speak with OM.
Plus I believe the affair is over.
My wife recently asked me to live with her after the divorce is final.
This is not a normal situation by any stretch.

This is not for a court of law but for yourself. You can put spyware on her phone and read her texts, emails. Have you been spying on her?


But how would you even know? And I seriously doubt it was a PA. Women don't typically have sex with men unless there is an emotional attachment. Unless you are saying he is a prostitute and she hired him for sex? If there was an affair it is very very unlikely it was "only" a PA. And how would you even know?


What is the point of getting divorced if you are staying with her? You don't sound like you are serious about this.

Do I understand correctly that you have told your wife you know she has had an affair, and you have told her you intend to divorce her because of it?

And she is denying the affair and claiming that the child is yours, but she does not seem to be fighting the divorce. She seems to have accepted that it will happen, but she wants you to continue living together after divorce? Why does she want to continue living with you if she accepts the divorce? Please try to explain her attitude because it makes no sense to those of us reading this thread.

Under what grounds would you file for divorce? Would a judge grant you a divorce if you continue to live together? How would you prove the breakdown of the marriage if you still live together? Is it normal in your state for a judge to grant a divorce to a couple that intends to continue living together?

Do you plan to take a DNA test after the birth? If the child isn't yours, would this be the grounds for your divorce after the birth? When is the child due?

How would your informant know that your child was listening at the door while they were having sex? How did the informant have your phone number to send you this message? If they know you well enough to know your phone number, have you tried to speak to them face-to-face to find out how much they know?

How do there come to be "many people living in that house" where OM lives? Is it a rooming house?

Have these conditions been diagnosed by a qualified person?

If you think your child is at risk of harm from your wife, you need to get him out of there. If you think he has already been abused (as you said in another post), what have you done to prevent this happening again?

You cannot hope to prevent abuse by staying in the house, unless you intend never to leave the house - as in never going out to work. If you think your child is at risk, you need to protect him properly by taking him away, and involving social services so that she cannot be with him unsupervised. If she has a diagnosed personality disorder, it should be easier to get proper arrangements in place for you to have custody, and for her to have only supervised visits. You need to be a great deal more proactive here.

Everyone involved in the situation is very weird.
W has never been diagnosed with anything.
She would never ever talk to a shrink unless forced to.
Most narcissist never get diagnosed except for those who are in prison because they were forced to see a shrink.
I have tried to take my child away a couple of times, but my child is very very afraid of losing mommy because mommy threatens to leave the child multiple times. I think it is a type of separation anxiety.
So each time I tried to take my child, the child did not want to go, and W called the police. The police sided with W.
I can take my child to a movie, or to the park, only if I promise to bring the child back.

I do plan on getting a DNA test done after birth. I hope I could do it before birth.
W is very very weird.
She told me multiple times that she wants me to live with her after divorce, but I am not interested in living with her at all.
I have been told that if I leave before D is filed, it might be looked at as abandonment.
My house is by far the most comfortable place for me to live right now, except I have to deal with my W.
She even tries to seduce me from time to time.
First I was told by my lawyer that divorce could not be filed while pregnant, now I am told that D can be filed, but we will have to wait for birth for it to be finalized, and the judge may throw it out.

Does anyone know of spyware for an Android that I do not have access to?
I do believe it is only a PA this time.
I believe it is very possible she iwas getting paid for sex though I can not prove it.
I say was because I believe it is over with.

You need to file for divorce, get legal protection and then leave. It is not viewed as abandonment if you have a legal agreement. The only thing "weird" I see here is your lack of seriousness about the problem. You aren't really serious about getting divorced. If you were serious, you would file for divorce and get custody of this "abused" child and move out. Of course the child will be upset at having to move, that is normal. But if your wife is abusive, it is up to you as a father to protect her.

Can't you get her phone?


WHY do you believe this and how would you know?


Your wife is a prostitute?

How is it that your wife has had affairs in the past and you haven't been spying on her all this time? Didn't that ever occur to you?

I asked you several questions in this post, and the only one you answered was about taking a DNA test.

I can't help you if you do not answer my questions. I didn't ask them for want of any other way to spend my time.