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Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by Intenselove
My wife recently asked me to live with her after the divorce is final.
This is not a normal situation by any stretch.

Do I understand correctly that you have told your wife you know she has had an affair, and you have told her you intend to divorce her because of it?

And she is denying the affair and claiming that the child is yours, but she does not seem to be fighting the divorce. She seems to have accepted that it will happen, but she wants you to continue living together after divorce? Why does she want to continue living with you if she accepts the divorce? Please try to explain her attitude because it makes no sense to those of us reading this thread.

Under what grounds would you file for divorce? Would a judge grant you a divorce if you continue to live together? How would you prove the breakdown of the marriage if you still live together? Is it normal in your state for a judge to grant a divorce to a couple that intends to continue living together?

Do you plan to take a DNA test after the birth? If the child isn't yours, would this be the grounds for your divorce after the birth? When is the child due?

How would your informant know that your child was listening at the door while they were having sex? How did the informant have your phone number to send you this message? If they know you well enough to know your phone number, have you tried to speak to them face-to-face to find out how much they know?

How do there come to be "many people living in that house" where OM lives? Is it a rooming house?

I asked you several questions in this post, and the only one you answered was about taking a DNA test.

I can't help you if you do not answer my questions. I didn't ask them for want of any other way to spend my time.

Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Originally Posted by Intenselove
My wife recently asked me to live with her after the divorce is final.
This is not a normal situation by any stretch.

Do I understand correctly that you have told your wife you know she has had an affair, and you have told her you intend to divorce her because of it?

And she is denying the affair and claiming that the child is yours, but she does not seem to be fighting the divorce. She seems to have accepted that it will happen, but she wants you to continue living together after divorce? Why does she want to continue living with you if she accepts the divorce? Please try to explain her attitude because it makes no sense to those of us reading this thread.

Under what grounds would you file for divorce? Would a judge grant you a divorce if you continue to live together? How would you prove the breakdown of the marriage if you still live together? Is it normal in your state for a judge to grant a divorce to a couple that intends to continue living together?

Do you plan to take a DNA test after the birth? If the child isn't yours, would this be the grounds for your divorce after the birth? When is the child due?

How would your informant know that your child was listening at the door while they were having sex? How did the informant have your phone number to send you this message? If they know you well enough to know your phone number, have you tried to speak to them face-to-face to find out how much they know?

How do there come to be "many people living in that house" where OM lives? Is it a rooming house?

I asked you several questions in this post, and the only one you answered was about taking a DNA test.


I can't help you if you do not answer my questions. I didn't ask them for want of any other way to spend my time.


I have told my wife I know of the affair and I told her in intend to divorce because if it.

She is denying the affair and saying the child is mine. She wants to divorce but she wants an uncontested divorce. I want full custody of my child, so uncontested will not work.

She has said multiple times that she wants me to live with her after the divorce, but she does not know I want full custody.
If she found out I want full custody, she will probably go APE CRAZY and maybe become violent.

I have no intention of living with my wife after the divorce. No way not going to happen.
I do not even want to see her.

My wife has not been to the OBGYN for the pregnancy yet, but that will happen soon.

I do plan on a DNA test after birth or hopefully before.

I have spoken to my informants face to face. One informant agreed to ship an affidavit about the adultary, but has since backed out.
This informant is a very weird person.
I believe the informant is on drugs.
I believe OM is on drugs
I do not want my child involved in this.

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I want to get my child out very badly.
I tried a while ago, W called the police, but the police sided with her.

I have been working with my lawyer very closely.
I have texts from 2 people confirming the affair, but my lawyer says I need an affidavit.
One informant agreed to sign an affidavit proving the affair, but the informant has since backed out.

W jas been paid a lot over time to “clean” the OM house, and yes she does clean, but I’m sure that is not all she has been paid for.

I have had recorders around the house, I do not believe she is having conversations about this here.
I have cameras inside and outside of the house,
I do not believe the affair was happening at my house.

Wife’s phone is password protected, I do not have access to it.

Please bare with me, it is possible that W might come to this site, so I need to be careful.

I appreciate all of your help.

Last edited by Intenselove; 01/02/20 06:56 AM.
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Originally Posted by Intenselove
I have told my wife I know of the affair and I told her in intend to divorce because if it.

She is denying the affair and saying the child is mine. She wants to divorce but she wants an uncontested divorce. I want full custody of my child, so uncontested will not work.

She has said multiple times that she wants me to live with her after the divorce, but she does not know I want full custody.
If she found out I want full custody, she will probably go APE CRAZY and maybe become violent.

I have no intention of living with my wife after the divorce. No way not going to happen.
I do not even want to see her.

My wife has not been to the OBGYN for the pregnancy yet, but that will happen soon.

I do plan on a DNA test after birth or hopefully before.

I have spoken to my informants face to face. One informant agreed to ship an affidavit about the adultary, but has since backed out.
This informant is a very weird person.
I believe the informant is on drugs.
I believe OM is on drugs
I do not want my child involved in this.

It's no good your posting here with details that do not make sense, claiming to be hiding from your wife who might read here. If she ever come here, she will recognise her story immediately from what you said in your very first post. You need to post in a way that makes sense, instead of making the same confusing statements over and over.

What are you going to do about this situation? You seem to be doing nothing because you are frightened that your wife will become violent. Sure you can see that you can't allow yourself to be held hostage by this fear forever. If you are going to avoid confrontation because of this fear, then you'll never take control of the situation. You fear that your wife has already abused your child, and you believe that she was paid for sex with a drug addict whose house she was paid to clean. She is now expecting his child. What are you going to do to get yourself and your child out of this situation? All you've done so far is post here about what you cannot do; because she might become violent, because your lawyer is away, because no-one will sign an affidavit, because you tried to take your chid away once before and she called the police...so what now? Just stay there and put up with it?

I cannot understand anyone who suspect his child has been abused who is too frightened to take the child away in case the child is abused in the interim. You need to go to social services and tell them of your fear, and tell them you want to get your child out of that home. This is a child protection issue; they will be forced to take it seriously. By your account, your wife took your child to the home of a drug addict and left him/her alone while she had paid sex with this addict. If that isn't a child protection issue, I don't know what is. If your wife becomes violent when you talk to her about divorce, you need to call the police. You can't just sit back and let things continue like this. You need to file for divorce with full custody, and have your wife take a DNA test and answer questions from a judge about the details sent to you in those text messages. You might not be able to finish the divorce while she is pregnant, but you can use the legal process to get the details you need today.

You never answered my question about how the person living in that house knew how to send you a text message about the affair, and how they knew the child was listening at the door.

You call this situation and everyone in it "weird", but the weirdest thing for me is that affairs have happened in your marriage for years, that you think you are married to someone with a personality disorder, that you suspect your wife of prostitution, association with a drug addict, abusing your child and conceiving an OC...and your quandary is whether to expose the affair. What about you and your child getting the heck out of there?


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I knew the people a little when my W first started going to the house.
After she started going there I thought the situation was somewhat innocent.
I was able to get their phone numbers then,
I did not know the situation was this bad until recently.
She had affairs several years ago, but we had what I thought was a reconciliation.
I have just recently learned of all this.
I have been keeping a journal of everything that has happened.
My lawyer said the best thing I can do is just wait until she snaps again.

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Originally Posted by Intenselove
I knew the people a little when my W first started going to the house.
After she started going there I thought the situation was somewhat innocent.
I was able to get their phone numbers then,
I did not know the situation was this bad until recently.
She had affairs several years ago, but we had what I thought was a reconciliation.
I have just recently learned of all this.
I have been keeping a journal of everything that has happened.

I simply do not understand you. You seem to have no sense of outrage about this situation. It doesn't matter when you learned about it; you have been here at least a week posting the same thing over and over, and doing nothing.
Originally Posted by Intenselove
My lawyer said the best thing I can do is just wait until she snaps again.

"Snaps" in what sense? How has she snapped before? And if she snapped before and you could not do anything then, how will her snapping again make you able to do anything now?

So your lawyer does not think you can protect your child by informing social services about the abuse?

Your lawyer does not think you can start the divorce process and get a DNA test?

Your lawyer does not think that the text messages that are in your possession are evidence of an affair?

Is your lawyer a real lawyer? I've never been to law school and I could do a better job myself.

I'm ASTOUNDED about your complacency in all this.


BW
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Originally Posted by Intenselove
I knew the people a little when my W first started going to the house.
After she started going there I thought the situation was somewhat innocent.

Please explain this. What innocent activity did you think your wife was doing at that house? Was she employed as a cleaner there? What makes you think this turned into prostitution?


BW
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Originally Posted by Intenselove

I have told my wife I know of the affair and I told her in intend to divorce because if it.

She is denying the affair and saying the child is mine. She wants to divorce but she wants an uncontested divorce. I want full custody of my child, so uncontested will not work.

She has said multiple times that she wants me to live with her after the divorce

Why does she want to divorce?

Why does she want to live with you after the divorce?


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Moderators:

Please delete this thread. I can no longer take the risk of W seeing this.

Thank you

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Originally Posted by Intenselove
Moderators:

Please delete this thread. I can no longer take the risk of W seeing this.

Thank you

What risk is there? Are you frightened of her?


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Originally Posted by Intenselove
Moderators:

Please delete this thread. I can no longer take the risk of W seeing this.

Thank you


Please familiarize yourself with our policy about thread removal requests. Thank you. PLEASE Remove all my threads/posts!


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Are you sure your wife is drug and alcohol free?


me, DH
all the children
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