I hope someone has the patients to read my rant. Ten years ago I married a single mother and started having children. I became very busy with family life and supporting them that I lost most relationships with friends and family. I think a lot of men make this mistake. I have no one to ask for a second opinion. Once married in Florida I relocated up north with a federal dream job. At that time we had our first of two daughters and my wife did not work. During our courting there was signs of trouble I ignored. I believe looked the other way because my future wife was pregnant and maybe I also believed that marriage would fix things. During courting I noticed that my wife needed male and female attention more then I did. She would model and had male friends that later I found out they would wonder were things were going in there relationship. I guess she would lead them on but of coarse she would say she was just being naive. I also did not like all the girls nights out. I broke our engagement because of some texts I found on her phone. I took my future wife and her daughter to Disney. The next day I found a text message to a male friend telling him how SHE took her daughter to Disney not mentioning anything about me. It was obvious this man did not know about me. I found that to be disrespectful. Unfortunately I took her back as she came to me crying two weeks later. She also sweetened up my mother to have her on her side. I believe my mother now feels guilty because of her suggestions of me continuing with the engagement back then. For six years my wife stayed home with our daughters. We had our ups and downs. I did not like the pressure to keep her happy and sometimes felt I was walking on egg shells. But there was also good times and I lived having a family together with her. After those six years she starting working as a real estate agent. She became unhappy with the girls and began leaving them with there older step daughter a lot. I was getting complaints from my two daughters and step daughter on my wife’s attitude. She seemed very bossy and unhappy. I did not like the amount of money she was spending. It was like her money plus the families money was hers to spent. Eventually I found texts of her flirting with one of her bosses. Wanting to go see him. She was trying on dresses and said she was thinking about sending him a picture of her in her panties. Even though my wife is very beautiful I do not think this younger guy would have wanting anything more then a fling. She said she would end it and I had to work on our marriage. I know I am introverted and do not express emotions as well as others. I do love my wife but was frustrated on her attitude and also her money sending that was causing some financial problems. She demanded we go out drinking/ dancing once a week. I agreed. I am an ok salsa dancer and that’s how we met at a wedding. I felt like it was more important for her to be out as I would always suggesting we go shopping, take a walk or go to the gym together. She never seemed interested. I felt it was more important that she be seen by others people then spend time with me. So we worked on the marriage but weeks later I was brining my wife breakfast at her office and I found her wearing her bosses jacket because she was cold . I also notice that her phone was still locked. And then there was the time I came home from a business trip and said I wanted to spend time with the girls and not go out so she went out with out me. Returning 2am in the morning. I checked out of the marriage and she moved out. We proceeded to have a ugly divorce for three years. She did try to come back to me mid way thru the divorce but I refused. I think she knew I was not going to be easy to divorce rape. I don’t know what happened with that boss but he moved on to another job and had a new girlfriend. I was not treated well by the judges and lawyers but was lucky on my divorce. I think everyone knew I would fight to the end for my daughters rights. I do not know how I would have survived being a weekend dad and was also fighting for my life. I will spare you all the drama and tactics used against me. Well we divorce and all that being said I stared a relationship with my wife and she has been coming over to my house everyday. My daughters are loving it. They did not like there mother having a boyfriend earlier in the year and like that now they are at my house full time since being with there mother. I could not bring another women into my daughters lives because I could see the pain they had with their mother having a boyfriend. Last Christmas my wife opened presents with our daughters and I. She left early and told me she had to pack for a vacation she was taking to her families house. She told me how much she loved me and gave me a kiss. I found out that instead of packing she went to another mans house to have dinner and exchange presents. Her side of the argument is that I told her I love her and will take care of her but I do not want to sign a contract and get married again. She more or less told me I will only be monogamous with you if we get married againI. Due to work and being a father I have no time to wine and dine another women. I want to be a family again but have no trust in marriage with her. If you can call it marriage now a days. I felt like she had the upper hand when marriage and I was a servant. If remarried and it does not work I don’t know if I will get off as well as I did on the second divorce.

Did you have a question? I don't see a question here.

Your story is very, very hard to read because it is not broken up into paragraphs. If you could use paragraphs in the future it would help others read and understand your story.

MelodyLane sorry for this mess of a post I wrote last night. Thank you for your time and feedback. It seems that I am very confused. I guess I am wasting everyone’s time. I just want my cake and eat it too. I don’t want my daughters to suffer from a broken family but I also do not want to be taken advantage of in a marriage. Especially with my ex-wife since that marriage failed.

Welcome to MB, Orto.

I promise you are not wasting anybody's time. We would just like to know what you want help with.

You can't continue to have a relationship with your ex if the main reason is that you do not have time to wine and dine another woman. That's not the basis of a relationship.

You are right. My exwifes ultimatum of marriage or she still is going to be seeing other men is not going to work with me. I am going to have a talk with her as we both should move on. I don’t think I’m cut out for relationships anymore and I am going to concentrate on raising the true loves of my life my daughters. Thank you for your time.

Concentrate on your kids and avoid the difficulties of a blended family while they are still under your roof. In years to come, you'll probably realise that you are as much cut out for relationships as anyone.

Do you manage to see your wife's oldest daughter?

Read Blended Families