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I have answered on my thread... somebody plz reply...

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plz reply on my thread... Sugar cane.

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kindly reply on my thread...

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Parm,

I read through this thread as I am going through the same. I’ve been married for 10 years and having what we are going through just sucks. In my own way I’ve tried everything just to improve in the way I think and feel but its just depressing.

10 years of it all and I’m realizing now that there is NO WAY to get the haunting out. Its there and we just have to deal with it. Knowing that we posted in this forum means that we had the courage to decide that we are not leaving our spouses as we know the greater good and we are making the sacrifice for our families.

It might help on telling what i do. That is to maintain better relationship and healthier mind is by distraction. As I know going through that angry and hateful thought just leads nowhere. I get myself busy at work, learning a new skill, busy on some other hobbies or even helping other people. And it somehow helps.

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Originally Posted by porkenbeans
Parm,

I read through this thread as I am going through the same. I’ve been married for 10 years and having what we are going through just sucks. In my own way I’ve tried everything just to improve in the way I think and feel but its just depressing.

10 years of it all and I’m realizing now that there is NO WAY to get the haunting out. Its there and we just have to deal with it. Knowing that we posted in this forum means that we had the courage to decide that we are not leaving our spouses as we know the greater good and we are making the sacrifice for our families.

It might help on telling what i do. That is to maintain better relationship and healthier mind is by distraction. As I know going through that angry and hateful thought just leads nowhere. I get myself busy at work, learning a new skill, busy on some other hobbies or even helping other people. And it somehow helps.

Porkenbeans, can we interest you in starting your own thread? We can help you. Sacrifice is poisonous for you and for your children. It is also entirely unnecessary. Yes, angry and hateful thoughts lead nowhere but very few marriages cannot become filled with romantic love if you are willing to work on it. Would you give it a try?


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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I apologize for i may have sound negatively or not helping. Thanks for the invite but I’m sure yet if id like to start new thread.

But indeed i agree its poison. And kind of what I’m pointing out: I cant try to imagine on what happened and expect to feel better.

The way for me to have happier relationship is to avoid thinking about it. I can’t have a good straight run if I’m constantly looking behind where I’ve been.

Love can be sweeter the second time around. I love my wife and I’m trying to look ahead on trying to spend joyous moments together as were getting older.



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Originally Posted by porkenbeans
I apologize for i may have sound negatively or not helping. Thanks for the invite but I’m sure yet if id like to start new thread.

But indeed i agree its poison. And kind of what I’m pointing out: I cant try to imagine on what happened and expect to feel better.

The way for me to have happier relationship is to avoid thinking about it. I can’t have a good straight run if I’m constantly looking behind where I’ve been.

Take your time, read some of the stories here.

Originally Posted by porkenbeans
Love can be sweeter the second time around. I love my wife and I’m trying to look ahead on trying to spend joyous moments together as were getting older.

Yes, traumatic events such as an affair can be a huge wakeup call. But why wait? You can have joyous moments together now. Teach your children to have great marriages by having one yourselves. That is called a win-win!


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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