Like everyone else, here comes the shortest long summary I can muster.

I got married 15 years ago. During the first 2 years of marriage, my wife had three affairs. It was only after the third one that I came upon marriage builders and followed directions to end the affair properly. I went and exposed the affair to all colleagues, classmates, family of the cheater. The affair ended, by my wife then stated she didn't want to remain monogamous. I said that's fine, did a plan B, and cut her out completely of my life (and cut out financial support, housing, everything). After a few weeks she came back, painstakingly we worked it out, applied marriage builders concepts. I bought some marriage builder books, we worked through them, and we got very close. And then life happens and we got lazy, of course.

Now 15 years later, and with 9 and 5 year old kids, my wife went wayward again. At the school where she works, she started befriending another recently divorced teacher. At home, I started to notice hugging and kissing her was met with little emotion. I should have known something was up, but she gave me a bunch of reasons why she was upset with me, and said to give her some time and space. Four days ago, I find a text message on an unknown app with a guy. I check phone records, and sure enough, one number is calling her all the time. I confront her and she comes clean about what is happening. She says she never even kissed the guy, but admits she is in love with him. I find out he also lives two blocks from us.

Wild emotions of course, and my first thought was, I want a divorce, this is the fifth time, wtf. She is sorry and says she wants to remain married. I tell her no, I want a divorce. After pleading, we agree to take one week to think to ourselves before deciding on divorce or not.

The next few days are lots of back and forth, she is angry at me and wants to leave me, then she wants to do anything to work on our marriage. Its very exhausting. Today, I make a my own decision; I still do love my wife and especially with my kids, and I want to keep the family together, I need to try and work things out. So without her knowing, I go nuclear again. Call this guys parents (who are pastors, go figure!). Interestingly, his mom says she knows, but he had told her that my marriage was over. Call his ex wife. Text his children (aged 18,22,23). He coaches children's volleyball, and I go and text all the coaches I could find that work with him. Also neighbors of his. Tomorrow (Monday) will go expose to his principal and HR department. I also tell my wife's mom, dad, and sisters. And after reading the forums, I told my 9 year old, who starts crying uncontrollably for a long time. That is the most heartbreaking one, he is a very sensitive child.

My wife is absolutely pissed, blah blah blah. Asks why did I tell my son? I explain to her the reasons. She says, "Now for sure I'm going to divorce you". I take it in stride, cause lets get real, she was ready to do anything to work on our marriage just two days ago. She is a crack addict that got her cheater taken away from her. She starts going through every single bad thing I've done. I admit, I'm not perfect, but I'm a good dad, I try my best, and I have NEVER cheated on her. Anyways, it keeps going on, and my son of course is devastated. I tell her, now that it's in the open, she can go ahead and decide if she wants to divorce, but it will be completely her decision, and I tell her plainly that I still love her and I want to work on our marriage.

Which brings us to this moment. I feel happy exposing of course, and I don't know what will happen but I think it will work out. She blurts out that he doesn't want to contact her until she is officially divorced (finally, that [censored]). She is sulky, crying, and angry at me. I'm left taking care of the kids.

I don't remember what comes next. She is free to get the divorce papers and file unilaterally, but I doubt it. I'm a physician, so I am the main supporter. Sure we split everything, but she knows it will be hard. And now she has doubts of things working out with this cheater.

I know that if she want's to work on the marriage, I'm going require that she quit her job (since he works with her there). I'm going to require complete transparency (phone, emails, etc). What else? She's curled up with her phone, maybe talking things through with her sister, maybe talking to this guy. It still eats me up that she can contact him, but well, the affair is exposed. Wondering what else to do now.

I’m so sorry jah that you’re back again. I remember your story from last time.

Are you sure you want to work this out again after this many times? Have you thought about writing Dr. Harley?

Has she written a NC letter?

Have you read Serial Cheaters

Also have you refreshed on Exposure 101?

It has some steps on what to do. Have you spoke to a lawyer yet to at least find out what you can expect?

Thanks so much BrainHurts. I went through and read my story from 2012, and you and everyone here gave me such great advice. Just to catch up the last few days, after exposing this OM, nothing much changed. His parents who he lives with said they will push him to stop the relationship, but it continues. I remembered about the NC letter, and of course my wife is not even close to accept it. Currently, my wife wants to move out of the house, get her own apartment, and take turns with the kids, as if we are separated. It feels something like plan B, but not the same because last time I could completely cut off all contact with her with an intermediary. This time, our kids are involved so I don't think I can cut all contact.

Are you sure you want to work this out again after this many times? Absolutely want to work on it. I still love my wife and also because of my kids.

Has she written a NC letter? She is not ready

Have you read Serial Cheaters - Yes

Also have you refreshed on Exposure 101? - Yes

It has some steps on what to do. Have you spoke to a lawyer yet to at least find out what you can expect? - Have not spoken to a lawyer yet.

Have you thought about writing Dr. Harley?

The last time, I used these forums to basically learn to do the exposure, go through plan A, then plan B, and finally got her to come back to me. When she came back, our marriage was at the very lowest point, so in addition to forums I went to the paid MB counselors, which also helped tremendously. After multiple sessions, our marriage was strong again. I was thinking of doing the phone counseling again, but I don't know if it will be helpful in this situation.

Also, I was wondering if anyone felt it might be helpful to pay for the OM to do the counseling also? He's recently divorced. If it helps bring clarity and closure for the three of us I'd do it.

Please write Dr. Harley. I really think you need to share everything with Dr. Harley and get his feedback.

Email your questions to Joyce Harley at mbradio@marriagebuilders.com. When your email question is chosen to be answered on the radio show, you will be notified by email directing you to listen to the broadcast. If you would like to consider being a caller, include your telephone number. You will receive a call to explain the procedure.

I'm sorry to hear that this is happening again.

What do you hope to achieve by paying for OM to do the MB coaching? Do you think Steve Harley will talk him into leaving your wife alone?

I have never heard of a counsellor even trying to do that. I wouldn't have thought that coaching both sides of an affair (your side and his) would be ethical. I also highly doubt that he would enter into coaching in good faith, with the goal to save your marriage and lose the woman he wants. Why do you think he would have any interest in this?

I think you'd be throwing your money into a black hole as far as OM is concerned, if he would even agree to give it a try.

I second BrainHurts' suggestion to write to Dr Bill Harley - please do this immediately. He is the founder of the MB programme, and he will give you an assessment of whether your serially cheating wife can be faithful from now on until death. He won't encourage you to fight for a marriage that has no chance of success if he deduces that your wife is addicted to the thrill of affairs.

I have read very good things about Dr Harley's son Steve, with whom you coached before, but in your shoes, I would go straight to the source - Dr Bill Harley. He will give his advice for free, and he will speak to your wife if she agrees to it.

You've read the Serial Cheaters article. How do you think it applies to your wife? What kind of serial cheater is she?

HI all,

I agree with all of the above. Steve Harley is an excellent marriage coach. In my experience with him over a number of years off and on, his approach accelerates results, but it is critical that both spouses work the plan and the program. But if only one spouse then it is all about the committed spouse persuading the reluctant spouse to join the program. That is much harder and results can be much slower or in the end it does not work and you do Plan B or divorce depending on the details of your situation.

I think that is your situation now jah, right? It seems the affair is ongoing still and entrenching and strategies are different with ongoing affairs and different again with serial cheaters. Write Dr. Harley.

I'd had several sessions with Dr. Steve Harley. Where things stand is I am going to work towards the details of a plan B to protect my sanity. I still see my wife go out to be with this OM, and I'm left being at home, taking care of the kids. But for 5 days now, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I've lost 15 pounds in a week. I am barely able to focus at work. While I am still emotionally willing to work on our marriage, I need to be in Plan B.

It's a little difficult with my job and having kids though. I can have an intermediary take the kids between her and I, but I can't cut off all contact with her. What if my kid has a basketball game? What if the teacher asks to meet both of us? Regarding my job, I'm a pediatrician, and so I am on call a lot. Getting called in to the hospital at 3 in the morning, I can't leave the kids (again, 9 and 5 yo) at home. So either I do an emergency drop off my WW place, or have her come to my house. I'm going to have to think more carefully about the details.

She also had one session with Dr. Steve Harley, mostly just to get a indication of where things stand. He had to be careful to not be judgmental or push working on the marriage too much because of course that would push her away from continuing sessions, since she is still 'addicted'. She does not want to continue sessions which I respect but I still need it for sanity and to help plan things correctly. The one thing he planted in her brain was to ask her, "Would you agree that the best scenario would be for you to be in love with the man who is the father of your children." She agreed. And probably because she is addicted and doesn't want to accept that, she declined further sessions for now.

Several people have recommended that I write to Dr. Bill Harley - I'm not sure what to write. Do I summarize the whole situation and ask what he thinks I should do?

Yes you should be in Plan B with her still caring on the affair, but I would see what Dr. Harley tells you. Have you spoken to a lawyer and see what you’re looking at?

Yes I would write a summary with all the new information that you’re going through.

Others with more experience will know better, but I would suggest to explain where you are now mainly, tell him what you're doing, and ask for his advice and thoughts on what to do next (your strategy). He does need to know this is a repeat of a past situation (this is the 5th affair?). I would mention you tried counseling with Steve but you wife never played ball. This is important I think as to her mindset.

I suggest this because you have complexities with kids that make this harder. A partial plan B is no plan B and this can hinder your own return to well-being if you have to interact with her I would think. But Dr. Harley knows better than me of course on whether or not this matters or changes your strategy.

As you write, this is her 4th or 5th affair. That seems to meet the definition of a serial cheater. She has weak boundaries around men. Boundaries must be strengthened from her side or this will never work. And she must change jobs if the guy stays there and you probably must move. This is hard, hard, hard. And you need her to eventually be all in for this to work. Without this she will have a 6th affair at some point and you start this carousel again sooner or later.

Tonight while waking I had a wicked thought. I have been having a hard time finding out online the contacts and information of the OM to maximize exposure. I also live in a fairly small, tight knit community (everyone knows everyone). Why am I going through all the trouble?

I already have two things, his name, and his picture (off the internet).

Why can't I print out a sheet with his face enlarged and with the following words:
This man, XXX XXX, is having an affair with my wife, knowing full well that she is still married and has kids.
1) If you happen to know him, please try to convince him to end the affair and leave my family alone
2) If you are married, or know someone who is married, please warn your spouse, daughter, friend, or colleague that this man does not respect the sanctity of marriage and should not be trusted.

I then post this sheet on every street sign, lamppost, store, church I can find. I could buy a newspaper ad and plaster it on a full page! I could make thousands of copies and drop them out of a helicopter! (maybe not that last one, I'd be arrested for littering)

I see several advantages here. My reputation and my wife reputation is untouched. I think that would be the ultimate exposure and should end the affair. I feel like I'm doing a community service by warning others. And I looked up libel laws, and basically if you ruin someone's reputation with false information, then you can be sued. Every word in the statement is true.

Any thoughts? Has anyone ever tried this or thought of this? It just seems too easy. And obviously I hate this OM, I don't care if I ruin is life.

Jah, I am seeing that you often do not answer posters' questions or take up their suggestions, but come back with more questions of your own.

I wrote to you about MB coaching, asking what you hoped to achieve by paying for OM to do counselling. As you might have worked out, I can't see how that would be a useful strategy at all. It is not something that Dr H has ever recommended. You never answered me.

BrainHurts has advised you to write directly to Dr H, but you came back with questions about doing so - rather than just writing to him. I said that he might not recommend your fighting for this marriage, although I don't know for sure. Are you prepared to take his advice if that is what he says? Have you written yet?

Now you are here asking about plastering your neighbourhood with flyers. This kind of approach was warned against by a moderator on another thread. They said:


That thread is here: https://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php/topics/3015258/1.html. The moderator posted toward the end of the thread.

You need to be very strategic and follow Dr Harley's advice.

I'm sorry about not answering questions. I read the posts, and I agree it makes no sense at all to include the OM in counseling. As if that would help the situation in any way.

Yes, I have written to Dr. Harley, waiting for a response.

I read the entire thread that you posted about mass exposure. Its interesting that multiple posters gave detailed instructions on how to mass expose. Then the moderator advised against it. In my counseling sessions with Steve Harley he recommends 'surgical' targeted exposure, and not expose for the sake of it. For example, if I thought exposing to my parents would cause them to immediately and forever unconditionally reject my wife, then exposure might hurt the marriage in the long term.

I'm going to ask him in the next counseling session what he thinks of my idea of posting hundreds of flyers specifically about the OM and warning others about him (as I posted earlier). It would not have any information about me or my wife, so I don't think it would affect our future marital relationship. I don't see the downside. Alternatively, I thought I could use it as a warning for the OM to stay away from my wife and end the affair; I know that it is completely against the idea of exposure (you don't threaten, you do it without warning). But to put this flyer all across the town, to his school where he works, his church he attends, the volleyball center where he coaches, and every library, community center, store, etc. I think that can completely ruin him.

The whole concept of "don't threaten to expose, just do it!" is that if you threaten, you give your battle plans to the enemy. But even if he knows, what can he do to stop me? There's nobody to warn ahead of time. Unlike online, there's no accounts to delete, no posts to take down. There's just physical buildings all around town, and I can put the flyers up quickly and efficiency at any time of day. Sure he can go running around trying to take them down, but you can't get find them all, and the next morning at 3 AM I just put another round of 100 around town.

Sorry, and to answer a few more questions I noted in the thread:

No I have not contacted a lawyer. We are not at the divorce stage, and my wife actually told me she does not want to file. She begged me not to file unilaterally either. I'm just the backdoor option at this point.

Regarding what kind of serial cheater she is. I don't think she cheats for sex. I don't think she cheats as a game to 'win the trophy'. Dr. Steve Harley in my counseling sessions says he thinks she is a 'romantic' and cheats because she has an idealized vision of what a marriage is like. When our marriage does not completely meet that image, she looks for a fresh slate with another man, her mind thinking that 'this could be the one.' That's an issue that we will have to work on if we remain married.

Sorry, I have a super long letter I want to share. I'm sending my wife this letter detailing my thoughts on the affair. I hope it makes my wife realize why she should choose me. Will it help? We will see. Comments welcome.
=====

I am writing this letter because I want you to be able to read it carefully and thoughtfully, without interruption, and without any arguments as you read it.

In the counseling session, Dr. Harvey thinks that you are a ‘romantic’ kind of personality. You think of the idealized marriage. The marriage where they “lived happily ever after.". As a husband, I know I am not an ideal at all. I was frisky and romantic at the beginning, but then it drifted downwards as we got older, and less frequent. Instead of “smell your neck sensually” it became “hug from behind lovingly”. Like an 'old couple' as you said. Then I let our children, work demands, and household chores get in the way of spending time with you, such that I neglected you. And I have my issues with hiding things and with porn. You see my flaws and think to yourself, “This marriage is not good at all. I’m getting older and might have only a limited time to find the ‘right one’, and live in the dream life that I deserve.”

But despite my bad characteristics, I think I have much more good in me than bad. I believe I am more intelligent than most. As a physician, I have a profession that is caring and kind, that people respect and admire. And my profession has a salary that allows our family to not just get by, but have a better standard of living than most. I am a good father for my kids. I teach my kids well, both school and in life. I get involved as a coach. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke. I am fairly religious. I have never beat you or hurt you. I am not abusive. I cook well enough I can take over when you need. I do a good deal of housework. I play the guitar and ukulele well. I write poems and can be romantic when I put my mind to it. I think I’m fairly in good shape physically (although I admit there were years I was fat). My extended family is loving and supportive. I am funny and make you laugh. I am faithful to you and have never cheated on you with another. And my best characteristic of all? My farts don’t stink so much. (Well, that’s my opinion anyways)

So, you see me as your husband and think of our marriage, but you focus on the bad things, and you decide that it’s not ideal. Not perfect. There’s room for improvement, right? And you are getting older. You are not going to be able to attract other men forever, so you need to find someone, there must be somebody out there that is better for you. Someone that can provide that “live happily ever after”. That’s what I think is happening.

Now, lets look carefully at this OM guy. It will be hard for me to be objective (since I obviously hate him), and hard for you also to be objective (since you are in love with him), but lets try none the less.

What makes him good. He works in computers? Well, not a ‘caring and kind’ profession but still useful for society. He seems knowledgeable. Must be funny because I already saw him make you laugh. He seems quite romantic and flirtatious. I think probably religious. He is in good shape I’m sure you would say. (Though I bet I could beat him in armwrestling). He coaches, just like me.

Now lets look at the bad. I’m going to try and be objective here and stick to facts. First and most important of all, he doesn’t respect the sanctity of marriage. He does not, that’s a fact. You marry him, and you will never know if he will remain faithful, because he has broken the sanctity of marriage once already with his relationship with you. Of course he will say, “What I did with you was wrong. I would never do that again. I would be faithful to you forever.” But you take your chances. I read in the texts you had with him, and he said, and I quote: “If you see me acting “flirty” with someone else, I am not. That’s just how I interact. Exaggeration and I like to make other’s laugh. . I can smile and laugh with another girl . . . and you have nothing to worry about.” So good luck marrying someone who can smile and laugh with other girls, exaggerate and acting ‘flirty’, but remain faithful. Nothing to worry about when we have already established that marital boundaries mean nothing to him.

Is he a good father? Of course he will tell you he is. But it’s a fact that all four of his kids are in the mainland with the ex-wife. Why is that? Usually, the parent that is more financially stable or the better parent gets the kids. And I already remember in check ups that his daughter was afraid of being honest with him and hid things from him. I’m sure he will give you is side of the story on why the kids are up there and not with him. But you can’t just take his word. I mean, for God’s sake, he will potentially be the stepfather of our children! You need to make absolutely sure he is a good father. You know the best way to do that? Ask him for the phone number of his ex-wife. Then ask the ex wife, “OM might be the stepfather of my children. Tell me the good fatherly characteristics he has and also the bad.” Go find out why he really lost the kids in custody.

But you know what is another fact about him? He is not the TRUE father of your kids. He is not and will never be. So whether or not he is a good father for HIS kids, it doesn’t apply to how he is for YOUR kids. How do you know if 5 years from now he sits on the couch and says, “Go feed that one boy and go over the homework for the other, they aren’t my kids. I’m resting.” You must be thinking, I don’t think he would do that. But do you know 100%? Nope. So while you already know what kind of father I am, you can’t be sure for him. Worse than that, what if he physically abuses our kids? Here’s another fact, “Step children are at a heightened risk of experiencing physical abuse, with rates 40x higher than biological parents.” 40x! That’s 4000% higher, four thousand percent! Why? Because the kids not their kids. And I hate to break this to you, but you could move out and live with him, you could introduce our kids to him, see how he interacted with our kids, and even if things seemed great, you would never, ever know for sure if he would abuse our kids. Because abuse comes not during the ‘happy, put on a good show’ dating phase, but after the “we’ve been married for a few years now” phase. That’s when the abuse begins. Conversely, as a fact you know that I will always be the father of your children, and as such I will always love them and care for and teach them correctly because they are mine.

Some other facts. Im pretty sure I make more money than him, unless he has some big hidden moneymaking scheme. I’m able to afford two houses, while he lives with his parents and from what county records say, both of the houses are under his parents. He plays too much video games by his own confession.

And now the unknowns things about Joshua that will take years and years to discover. You don’t know much about his family. Don’t know 5 years from now he will help with household chores. You don’t know if he has any of the same problems I have: lying, porn, neglect. Of course he is going to say he doesn’t, and that he won’t neglect you, that he learned from his first marriage. Does that mean it won’t happen, 5 years from now when he is working hard, taking care of kids that aren’t his, playing video games, coaching volleyball . . . will he never neglect you? Who knows. What else - you don’t know if he is abusive. You don’t know if he has a hidden drinking or smoking problem he won’t admit. You don’t know who is more intelligent (although I would obviously think it’s me!).

So there you go. An honest look at your choices. OM vs me. Who to choose? Feel free to write more things about OM. I’m sure there are some good characteristics I don’t know about. Maybe he plays an instrument? Maybe he sings well? Whatever. But I think he fails at the most important characteristic, respecting the sanctity of marriage. And the other important characteristic, how he is as a father, you will never know for sure.

I would like to mention one last thing. I think I am also a “romantic” personality, but just in a different way. In my ideal marriage, the husband and wife stay married forever, rich or poor, sickness or health, good times and bad, till death to they part. That’s my ideal. You have so many good characteristics, so so many. I would not have chosen you as my partner if I didn’t think you had so many good characteristics. Including your beauty, and I find you beautiful just the way you are. But you also have bad characteristics as well (I won’t mention the bad ones or you are going to start hating me again!). But I accept all your flaws and try to work around them, try to find ways we can make things work, try to look for solutions. I remain faithful to you despite the flaws. I don’t think to myself, “I’m getting older, there must be somebody better for me and I can live a happier life!” No, I love you and only want you. Because you are my wife, and I will always love you and be faithful to you. But I will point out the one bad characteristic that you have, and that’s infidelity. You put me through the worst pain and suffering a human can ever bear. Anyone would say that I have every right to leave the marriage and start over. But I’m a romantic. I believe in marriage. I believe in “until death do us part”. I believe in forgiveness. And I forgive you for what you are doing to me. And it doesn’t matter what flaws you have, no matter how major, I still love you. And that’s why I still fight for our marriage. That’s why I will do whatever it takes to remain with you. That’s why I am ready and willing to bear all this pain and suffering, for potentially months or even years, because I’m a romantic and want to remain married to you. Because I love you. And willing to wait for you. And the only thing that could possibly end that is if you file for divorce unilaterally. Until then, I will never give up.

I think that would be a bad letter to send. It tries to educate your wife, which is something that Dr Harley says you should never do. It is also full of disrespectful judgements, which Dr Harley identifies as love busters. Committing love busters while you should be either in Plan A or Plan B - or indeed at any time while you are married - is the quickest way to turn your wife against you, more than she already is.

The love busters are basically telling your wife that you are a good man and she is flawed. She looks at things the wrong way, whereas you have a proper view about things. The letter says that you are a good man and she really has no grounds for turning against you. If you want to send her running for the hills, "bigging up" yourself (as we say in the UK) while putting down her feelings will confirm to her that you are not a man that she should return to; you disregard her feelings and tell her that she has nothing to be unhappy about. Don't you think she already knows that, as a physician, you are clever and highly educated, probably more than OM? Don't you think she already knows how much you earn and can support a good lifestyle, and that you don't drink or smoke and are religious? And yet, as of today, she wants to stay away from you and be with OM. Do you really think that telling her you are better than him will persuade her to change her mind?

The letter is longwinded and pompous - I'm sorry, but that's how I read it. i suspect that, to a wife in love with another man, it would be a gigantic turn off.

You need to SHOW your wife that you are the better man for as long as you are in Plan A, and if/when you go to Plan B, leave her to feel your loss, and realise why she should return to you.

You really need to make contact with Dr Harley and follow his advice before you shoot off in your own direction.

With the greatest of respect to Steve Harley, he is not Dr Harley, who founded the MB programme and devised all the plans. Steve has been known to alter Dr Harley's advice, especially on exposure, and I have heard Dr Harley on his radio show insisting that exposure be followed according to his plan, to the letter.

Steve Harley is not a Dr, as far as I am aware; he has a masters in psychology but not a PhD. His father holds a PhD. However, even if Steve did have one, he is not the creator of this programme and he does not run the radio show which day after day insists that those seeking Marriage Builders advice follow his - Dr Bill Harley's - advice as written.

Thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it. I haven't given the letter out yet; you don't think I can even modify it or use certain parts? I do think it says I'm a good man, but I also mention all my flaws. Im not a pompous person by nature, honest. I tell my son that humility is one of the greatest traits.

It just eats at me that when I read her texts, it is the OM that is continuously pointing out my flaws, big and small, over and over, while he is making himself out to be virtuous, loving saint. He says things like, "I hope your marriage still works out." "Im so sorry that you husband is hurting so much" "Do you want me to give you space so you can be with your husband". Absolute manipulation, and my wife is just being poisoned over and over. Don't I get to defend myself? When do I get to do that?

Thanks for clarifying at the end. Every time I see Dr. Harley I'm wondering if maybe you meant Steve. I got it now.

It's been 10 days now since DDay, and I'm down 18 pounds. I am weak but can't eat, I vomit half the time. I go for runs because of all this adrenaline in my veins while my tank is empty. Its starting to get a little better, my emotions don't flare up when I see my wife texting can calling him in the house. I try my best to show her that I am the better man, but it feels so helpless. For example, yesterday I watch the kids, wash the clothes, prepare a wonderful dinner for the family. She is just texting away. I call her to the table to eat with me and the kids, and she says she isn't ready. When she finally comes, she is on the phone the whole time, talks a little to the kids, then leaves. It feels like all for naught. And I can't call her out on not helping around the house because she becomes defensive and says, "Okay then, let me to some." So I stop mentioning it.

The reason she is texting so much is the OM left to go on a volleyball trip to Japan. So not physically here for about 14 days. Meanwhile, it's spring break so I get to spend time with just my wife and two kids.