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Every time someone says something about my W I start thinking about it. To day was ok till I had to go take my youngest son to the doctor. He was at MIL's. She started telling me how to spend my money. Told me to give up on W. Told me that she wont apprecite the help I have given her.<P>After I got back FIL was telling me that he was going to here house to help her with her $$$ situation. He also told me that she asked him what she should do about me. I told him that I do love her and hope it would work out. He also said to back off and let her come to me, I thinkshe is to stubborn for that. <P>Now my good day went to thinking and more thinking.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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brownphd -- 199 MPH is still relatively slow ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/wink.gif) There were times when my mind was closer to a million miles an hour.<P>This is why you need to work on yourself as much as you work on your marriage. Otherwise, you can drive yourself batty.<P>God Bless
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Batty I think I'm there...lol. I have been doing good though. I just here these things and still think thereis a chance. <BR>Have you read the thread, I think its He's really really sorry?<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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brownphd -- There is a chance. A very good chance from what I see.<P>Yea, I read it. . . <P>God Bless
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Man that is my situation BIG TIME, and there really is no way to prove it.<P>My W is stubborn and wont say how she reaklly feels. She thinks then she is weak. I know this for a fact. she has always been like this. She is worried wht people would think. Always has been. This why I know her relation ship with these other guys wont last, She doesn't tell anyone. nor has anyone ( our friends) me any of them, They would object. You know what I mean.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P><p>[This message has been edited by brownphd (edited November 16, 1999).]
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brownphd -- YES, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.<P>You're right though. There is no way to prove that your behavior is sincere and that you intend to continue this way. ONLY time can show her that.<P>I've been there, remember? Over all, I think we, my W and I, have made past that point. You can do it do. It just take time.<P>God Bless
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I know, I too see us working it out. I hope its not an ilussion though. Just some of the things she says, her asking her dad( he wanted us to work it out 11months ago). I think she wanted him to say work it out just to reassure her own thoughts.<P>I hope anyway.<P>ES I really do appreciate everything you have done for me. I get a lot of relief when I get to converse here. Even when some thing are not what I want to hear.<P>THANKS<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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brownphd -- Unfortunately, much of what we hear after infidelity has invaded a marriage, is NOT what we wanted to hear. It's the nature of the beast I guess.<P>I hope that I have been able to help you understand a little bit of what you are going through. If nothing else, I hope I have given you a catalyst to talking about your feelings.<P>God Bless
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ES I dont understand what you are saying<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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brownphd -- The nature of the beast is pain. In our case here at MB the beast is infidelity.<P>From the moment our spouse confesses to the affair(s), or from the moment we find out about the affair(s), we hear things that we do not want to hear. We are forced to evaluate and re-evaluate everything in our lives. This process often forces us to "hear" things that we don't want to hear. Even if it is just that we, the betrayed, helped cause the circumstances which allowed the affair(s) to happen.<P>Does that help clarify? If not I will have to think about a better answer. My brain is a little confused this week. sorry.
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Do you mean theat we are forced to hear things we do want to hear. Cause that is what I'm doing. I hear stuff That keeps me hanging on. My MIL did say things I didn't want to hear though. FIL said what I did want to hear. funny ain't it<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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brownphd -- In many ways, yes that is what I am saying.<P>It's hard sometimes. Just hang in there.
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Its like the things I hear give me hope. when I bring the things my W says she says that she shouldn't have said that. I know she is very confused.. I dont blame her one bit. <P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>
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