Hi Paul<P>I've just read your post of a week ago, "I told my wife goodbye - plan B questions"<P>I cried for you, your children and your wife.<BR>I was just wondering how you are doing, and how are the children.?<BR>I don't mean to pry, but my situation is a bit similar, and I'm in day 2 of Plan B.<BR>I want to call him so much, just to hear his voice. When I told H I was going to stop all communication betw. us (he could still call the children whenever, with any info regarding the children being relayed by my sister) I could hear the sadness in his voice. A bit like your wife crying on your shoulder. As much as we are hurting, they MUST be too. I can't believe my H is so cold, heartless and callous to not be hurting. Your W doesnt seem to be either (cold or heartless), judging from your post and the rivers of tears that must have been shed that night by you all.<BR>P{lease don't think I'm nosy, but it would be great to talk to someone who is also so new to Plan B. <P>Take care of you<P>Jo<BR>

Jo: I've been reading some of your posts and I actually started to reply to one about 'consider this' but decided not to. I would have railed on the person, and we all know -- if you can't say something nice... <P>Anyway, I'm happy to tell you about my situation. My life has become an open book. I started Plan B that Tuesday night. It was hard and I wasn't sure I had what it takes. I posted here a got alot of help and I prayed nearly continuously. The following day I was ok until that evening when the situation started to catch up to me. My head would spin, my stomach would knot, and I cried. I cried for me, I cried for my kids, and I cried for my W. My sweet darling W.<P>Thursday was not much better, except that I was growing stronger in my resolve. My W was constantly on my mind, and I didn't even try to stop this. But I tell you this Jo, Friday I awoke to...nothing...nothing bad that is, I actually felt nothing, no pain, no sadness, no sorrow. When I realized this, joy crept in. God had lifted a weight off my heart that morning. My W was still on my mind, but the situation no longer burdened me. It was as if God had said 'Paul, I'm glad you finally gave this to me, now let me take it from you' and He did. I laughed at work and walked a little faster. God is so good.<P>Late Friday morning my W called me at work. She sounded excited to hear my voice. We had not spoken in a few days. She was used to me at least calling to see if she was alright. She turned sorrowful and asked me if she could come home. Could this be it? Is this all it took to get my W to come home? Not my Plan B, but letting it go, giving it to God. If you do Plan B for the right reasons it will work. I don't mean it will bring back your H. I mean it will bring back you. If your H chooses to follow then we'll praise God for that too.<P>I decided that day that I was going to live my life for God with or without my W. God had done something for me and now it was my turn. My W is still with me today, it's only been a week, and we still work on problems. But what a joy it has been because my W and I aren't working alone anymore. Our personal counselor is helping, He gives us strength, and He gives us guidance.<P>We went to church last night, after the sermon they did an alter call. My six year old son walked over to my W, his mother, and asked if she would go pray with him. Six years old! The tears welled in her eyes and she took his hand and they walked down the aisle to the alter and prayed. He had done this to me several times over the past few months and now he was doing it for her. I cried again as I watched, not sorrow, but joy. My journey is not over and my marriage is not completely healed. That may take a long time. But with God in front of me and my family by my side I think it can be done. It can be done for you too, Jo.<P>Have faith, be strong. We are here to help you. Sidenote: I am usually on during the day only, sorry.<P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.

You lucky lucky man.<P>I have tears in my eyes right now at the image of your son and your wife. How that must have felt for all of you. You sound as tho' you deserve everything good.<P>Its funny that you should mention about doing Plan B not for the result (ie, it may/may not bring my H home) but for finding me.<BR>I felt at peace for the first time since this whole mess started today. (since mid May). I sent the loving letter as recommended, and then didn't call or email. You know something - he called for ME tonight. (its 9 pm Friday here) He usually calls to speak to our oldest d every night, but usually we dont converse at all. He rang because there is a charge on his credit card $880, for insurance, that he knows nothing about, he thought I may know something about it. When I left Melbourne, I gave him back the credit card I had on our joint account, and the cheque book that I had. I have no access to that account any longer. And he was there, I handed the credit card and cheque book direct to his hand. My point is this - he KNOWS I have no access to the credit card, or cheq. account - WHY would he ring me with questions about what is now his account.?? Is this a good sign. Am I reading something into nothing. I also didn't ask him what he is planning to do tonight - usually I cant wait to find out !! Is my coolness (but still friendly) and backing away from him starting to hit home. <BR>He'll be here for Christmas, for 4 days, I hope I can continue on Plan B until then, and then hopefully, maybe he'll have realised that what we had was so good, and it can be so good again.<BR>But, I'm so very very happy for you. I have been trying to pray, but the words just won't come. The last 2 years have been extremely hard for me and us, that this just seems to be one more thing to cope and deal with. I have asked many questions of God about why is he giving me all these issues in the space of 2 years. Couldn't he have spread them a little?? I always have had faith, and always have been very spiritual, but I must admit it has failed me this time. Maybe I have been too self absorbed to be able to let God in, or give or show me some answers. Maybe Gods way of helping me was to direct me here. I'm very new at this internet stuff, and the night I found MB I actually typed in "marriage build" - don't know where it came from, I just typed it in.<BR>I've noticed a lot of you guys praise God quite a lot, and it has made me question my faith, or the lack thereof. Perhaps with the peace I'm now feeling I can make friends with him again.<BR>Anyway, you sound as though you are definitley on the right road, and I am so happy for you. I cant get the picture of your son and wife out of my mind - it is so beautiful.<BR>I overheard my d say to my H last night during their phone call<BR>d: Daddy, do you know what I like best most of all<BR>d: I like to have you here to spend all your time with me, all the time.<P>how that must have hurt him. The one thing I could never fault him on is the love he has for his children (4 & 18 mths)<P>Thanks for responding to my post, and for sharing your story. My every good wish is heading your way, I wish there was something more I could say. What I have said I feel is so inadequate. I have a big lump in my throat at the thought of your happiness, I'm so happy for you.<P>Take care<P>Jo

ps<P>I've printed your response - it's really hit a chord with me.<P>Take care of you and yours<P>Jo