Hi<BR>I'm going to get married soon ..6 weeks.I love her with all my heart,but I am staring having my doubts..normal??<BR>We are together for almost 2 years,before me she was leaving with (ex)for almost 11 years,I really don't know him<BR>but he made me have hard times,maybe I will call humilliation..,But with the time all this situation was gettin better,at the beggining she was letting him make his rules,like not (me) be there at her house when he comes to see his kid,or other stupid things.<BR>Now he is accepting the situation, but still my worries,and I found out one month ago(she told me),That she went out with him 7 months ago,lying to me...regardless she explain me that nothing sexual happened..I always have my doubts,I can't get over this,make me be so untrustful.<BR>he still calling almost everyday for his kid!!??<BR>I always complaint about this....<BR>I can't accept...when I am at home,he never tries to go inside,but when I'm not , he does..and she let him do that,that makes me so upset,it's like there is no respect to me.<BR>My question is what can I do?<BR>I know he is going so far with all of this...calling for favors,and she is always there,with the excuse that when she needs him he will always help.<BR>So...who am I??<BR>I know there is a kid in the middle..and I respect this situation.<BR>I know and I have to say that there is alot of changes.<BR>But there are considerations...that I have to complaint about it,so they can change.<BR>Like I said before I love her so much...but why go to the extreme to have a fight and make her realize and change.<BR>She is great...but stubborn.

I would suggest that you postpone the wedding and thet the two of you go to a marriage and family counselor. You have some major issues to work out between the two of you, and you need to address them. Kid & ex are factors, but the bigger thing is your feelings of distrust and her method opf handling them--going out with the ex doesn't really add to the trust level. You and your wife need to be in agreement on handling kid and ex stuff, and to truly respect, understand and protect each other's feelings. <P>Issues almost always get worse after marriage, not better. It is much, much preferable to work on things now, versus starting the marraige off on the wrong foot.<P>Good luck.