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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 208
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Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 208 |
My ex-H thinks he had no control and I always had to have my way. I was the stronger one in the relationship, but I didn't make all the decisions. When I asked him what he wanted to do about something he always replied, " I don't care, its up to you." Now he has twisted that against me since he began his affair. I'm sure next to OW I look like a shrew. He always told me before what a a good wife I was. In a case like this, will he always think anything was better than living with me or is there a chance once the fog lifts I might not seem so bad? None of these things were ever mentioned to me until discovery of affair. Now all he can see is my faults.<P>AD
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040 |
My H told me after he left that I "never let him do anything he wanted", which was certainly not the case. Trying to get his opinion on any day-to-day decisions was like pulling teeth. Most of my H's complaints were about things he had never mentioned before the affair.
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,832
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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 1,832 |
already divorced,<P>Have you read the book "After the Affair" by janis Abrahms Spring? In it she describes the "flip-flop factor". This basically describes how the things that attracted us to our S's, later becomes the same things that drive our S's away. I think of it like your best assest is also your worst asset. You might want to check out that book. Perhaps it will give you and your H a little more understanding of this...<P>Roll me Away
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