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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13 |
My husband and I got married last year in August. I feel like we are always having this family issue. He tells me that he is a family person and that he likes to spend time with his family... I tell him that since we got married he has created a new family with me and that this family is priority. He doesn't agree and tells me that I'm selfish and that I'm not a family person. Is not that, but that I would like to spend time with him to get to know him better and so that our relationship can grow. Also we do see each other everyday, really don't spend that much time toghether. I like the weekends to be just the two of us and he always wants to spend time with his parents. Am I wrong? I don't think it's necessary to see them like so many times a week...... I feel so upset : (
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
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Member
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568 |
I don' tthink you're wrong to feel that way at all. in fact, the Bible talks about how a man shall *leave* his father and mother and *cleave* to his wife.
Does that mean never see his folks? No. But you're right, he has a new family now.
So it seems like one of those things that the two of you have to find some middle ground.
Is he a real momma's boy, or is his mother a very strong-willed dominating woman? Or is he perhaps the youngest male child?
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13 |
He's a mama's boy... and he's so afraid to tell them no and put them aside. I tell him you don't have to be afraid of your parents...He tells me he doesnt' like to hurt people and doesn't want to hurt them
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619 |
Is it possible to meet in the middle somewhere? Perhaps he could tell his parents that he would like to spend extra time with you this month, so he'll only be able to spend one afternoon every other weekend with them? Will he negotiate at all?
C
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13 |
I tried telling him. Maybe it is that he needs someone else to tell him. I'm going to have to write sometype of schedule
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
Member
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Member
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619 |
Writing things down is often a good thing to do. That way you can look back together on the agreement when planning your weekends. Just make sure that he is truly in agreement or he'll come to resent the contract.
Have the two of you looked at the information on the main site? Have you been trying to POJA solutions?
C
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13 |
Sorry but what is POJA solutions?
Yes I have tried reading all of the information on the main website and I print it out and give it to him, but he's always too busy or too tired, so I summarize it for him and he looks at me like I'm a maniac.... It took two weeks for him to complete the emotional needs questionaire. I had to keep on telling him everyday Can you please fill out the few questions on that paper, it really means a lot too me, and he would say "I'll do it later" and never did.
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