Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#330406 02/28/05 04:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
My husband and I got married last year in August. I feel like we are always having this family issue. He tells me that he is a family person and that he likes to spend time with his family... I tell him that since we got married he has created a new family with me and that this family is priority. He doesn't agree and tells me that I'm selfish and that I'm not a family person. Is not that, but that I would like to spend time with him to get to know him better and so that our relationship can grow. Also we do see each other everyday, really don't spend that much time toghether. I like the weekends to be just the two of us and he always wants to spend time with his parents. Am I wrong? I don't think it's necessary to see them like so many times a week...... I feel so upset : (

#330407 03/01/05 01:26 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
J
Member
Member
J Offline
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,568
I don' tthink you're wrong to feel that way at all. in fact, the Bible talks about how a man shall *leave* his father and mother and *cleave* to his wife.

Does that mean never see his folks? No. But you're right, he has a new family now.

So it seems like one of those things that the two of you have to find some middle ground.

Is he a real momma's boy, or is his mother a very strong-willed dominating woman? Or is he perhaps the youngest male child?

#330408 03/01/05 08:26 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
He's a mama's boy... and he's so afraid to tell them no and put them aside. I tell him you don't have to be afraid of your parents...He tells me he doesnt' like to hurt people and doesn't want to hurt them

#330409 03/01/05 11:16 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
Is it possible to meet in the middle somewhere? Perhaps he could tell his parents that he would like to spend extra time with you this month, so he'll only be able to spend one afternoon every other weekend with them? Will he negotiate at all?

C

#330410 03/01/05 02:28 PM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
I tried telling him. Maybe it is that he needs someone else to tell him. I'm going to have to write sometype of schedule

#330411 03/03/05 08:44 AM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 619
Writing things down is often a good thing to do. That way you can look back together on the agreement when planning your weekends. Just make sure that he is truly in agreement or he'll come to resent the contract.

Have the two of you looked at the information on the main site? Have you been trying to POJA solutions?

C

#330412 03/03/05 09:19 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
S
Junior Member
Junior Member
S Offline
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 13
Sorry but what is POJA solutions?

Yes I have tried reading all of the information on the main website and I print it out and give it to him, but he's always too busy or too tired, so I summarize it for him and he looks at me like I'm a maniac.... It took two weeks for him to complete the emotional needs questionaire. I had to keep on telling him everyday Can you please fill out the few questions on that paper, it really means a lot too me, and he would say "I'll do it later" and never did.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 777 guests, and 71 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Logan bauer, Karan Jyotish, sofia sassy, Roger Beach, clara jane
72,022 Registered Users
Latest Posts
How important is it to get the whole story?
by leemc - 07/17/25 02:41 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Spying husband arrested
by coooper - 06/24/25 09:19 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,624
Posts2,323,516
Members72,023
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0