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Hi, I have read 'His Needs Her Needs' and the chapter on a husband needing an attractive spouse. Is it possible for this to be a major need for a woman also?
We have only been married 7 months and I already feel like my husband no longer cares about what he looks like around me. He wears his oldest and sloppiest clothes around the house which makes me feel undervalued and like I'm not important. It also effects my ability to be turned on by him.
I have brought it up on a number of occasions but he tells me I should love him for who he is, and that my feelings shouldn't change depending on the clothes he wears. He is quite adamant that he should be able to come home and relax and not have to make the effort to look nice in his own home.
Please advise me on how to deal with this situation, I am running out of ideas!

Hello Mrs.fui,
Well, Let me ask you...did you fall in love with the way he looks or with the man and everything about the man. I am currently seeing someone and have been for almost 6 months now. I have seen her with and without makeup. I have seen her in dress clothes and bouncing around the house in her PJ's. She is attractive to me in whatever. I don't love her any less. I mean, I feel that people should not go around looking like an unmade bed all the time. I feel there might be some issue's with taking pride in themselves.(not to be confussed with being proud which is a sin.) But I try to look good and presentable to her most of the time. She does not comment on the way I look unless maybe I have the shoe on the wrong foot or something like that. I am sorry if this does not help. When I get home I am ready to relax too. Get in some comfy clothes and relax.

Maybe you're not even following your own thread but I wanted to say that you need to fully explain in a tactful but firm manner to your H how this is an important EN of yours and that if he doesn't monitor it then it will impact your love. I think my WW had a very important EN of having an attractive mate. I was not that ideal of hers and I have to admit I was not very awesome in clothes. I gained a bit of weight and was probably a major disappointment to her. So she made the choice to feed this EN and had her numerous A's with males she found more attractive. But I did meet many of her other EN and the A's never went anywhere. Except maybe this last one... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />