My husband and I have been married 17 years and we are both christians. After being married about 3 years (our children were 5 and 2)my husband told me he didn't love me anymore and there was someone else he had met. He told me they were not involved sexually and I believed him - he knew if he crossed that line I would have left him. We have had our ups and downs since then (marriage is hard work)and I have faults as well as he does. But I have chosen to try to do what God would want me to do to make our marriage work (I could have done better). About a year and a half ago my husband had a mid-life crisis and decided he was not happy (hadn't been for some time) and wanted to seperate. There was no one else involved this time. With still alot of prayer I have tried again to save our marriage. We have been living in the same house but have been sleeping in seperate rooms for this time. As I was praying today I asked God what was holding us back from restoring our marriage. And again I began talking to my husband about solutions to our situation. Out of nowhere (?) came out the question I hadn't asked him in years - Did you sleep with her? To my surprize he said yes. I felt violated all over again! I believe this is the reason our marriage has suffered so much - he flat out lied to my face! I feel this is the reason we have not drawn closer to each other and why my husband hasn't grown closer in his relationship with God. If you know my husband that is just not his character. Oh, God, what do I do now? What? I know it has been 14 years since then but it seems like yesterday. And it has been terrible the past year and a half not knowing where my marriage is headed. I feel I have wasted the past 14 years of my life. I think I want to leave him; I have no love for him; there has been nothing in our marriage since that terrible day he came home saying he wasn't happy. We both want what God's Will is for us - I just don't feel anything right now but hurt and betrayed. I need direction, prayer, help! Thank you for taking the time to read my story - I am sorry it is so long. <P>------------------<BR>lps

Oh IPS...I am so sorry. I do not have the "miracle" advice for you. I wish you the very best and I hope that your H can find God and forgive himself. I am sure that all these years he has walked through life carrying this terrible and damaging guilt on his shoulders and in his heart. I am sure that is why the two of you could not reach that closeness that one is supppose to feel in a "loved" relationship.<P>I would hope...that somewhere in your heart that you can forgive him and start to feel that love again. <P>I have to believe that God is listening to us....I just have to. That is one of the things that has kept me going for so long through my terrible divorce.<P>I pray for you...your husband....and all of us...that he can help us find peace and forgiveness through our heart wrenching times....and that He help guide us....and open our eyes with love and understanding.<P>Nancy