There are a host of reasons why you can't get past your anger and hurt. I know most of them by heart. My father was an abusive alcoholic. I was sexually molested at the age of eight, by another eight year old. I have never been able to forgive either of these two people until recently. And I still have a long way to go in recovering from the severe clinical depression I have recently been diagnosed with. I am seeing a licensed individual counselor, also seeing a psychologist who has placed me on anti-depressants. Although there was never an affair by me or by my wife. My depression has caused our marriage to crumble. Until I threw myself into the bible, to church, and christian events such as INSP television, a religious programming channel,christian radio, religious books given to me by my mother, daily prayer and living for GOD as I always should have, but never did, I was unable to let go of all the pains of the past. You CAN forgive your husband if your heart truly feels that there can still be a marriage. Read everything you can at this site. There are several wonderful topics, articles and insightful comments from a host of people that will help you make your marriage work, if your heart leads you and most importantly of all if GOD leads you to saving your marriage. Perhaps it was a momentary lapse of his devotion, it most certainly was a temptation from the devil to test the strength of your marriage. I will pray for you and your husband, praying that GOD will speak to you both and give you the answers you both need. I know from experience that depression will never allow you to forgive, until you heal. I am still healing, have a long way to go. I have wanted to give up several times, but each day, Almighty GOD is placing new people in my life to be friends, to encourage and support me, making this much easier to bear. Each day brings me one step closer to healing, while still hoping for my marriage to work GOD reveals to me in HIS word and my thoughts and my prayers that HE Will restore this marriage. I have to heal first to be ready for the renewal, but it is stil going to happen when HE knows I am ready, when my WIFE is ready to truly share and grow in marriage to one another. Until then, I will have good days, I will have bad days. But I can endure. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens Me. And you can as well. I will hold you both in my prayers.<BR>May GOD bless and keep you both,<BR>Lone_Knight.
