My wife keeps talking about the OM and how happy he makes her, and how he understands her so well. All the things that I remember her telling me so long ago. I feel so rejected, like nothing I ever did, ever do really matters.<P>I ask for your prayers, I'm trying plan A as best I can but hearing all those things breaks me from within. I'm sure people see this strong healthy looking 24 year old, but they don't know how drained and shattered my soul is.<P>Thanks,<P>Plecostomous@hotmail.com

Dear Pleco, Have you ever smoked pot? I used to be a heavy pot smoker and back then if someone asked me how happy i was, i would tell them, i was very happy and stoned and i acually believed it myself. Take away my pot, i was unhappy. Why, cause it was a lie and deception and an addiction. Your wife has an addiction with the om and it will end in withdrawl and suffering. Draw near to the Lord and trust in Him to restore your marriage. Pray that your wife would find, or turn back to the Lord. Your wife has looked for a way out of her pain inside. If we dont turn to the Lord with our pain we turn to drugs/alcohol or relationships. They temporarily make us feel good, but far from happy and Joy is from the Lord and doesnt depend on circumstaces. We have all turned from the Lord and been unfaithful towards Him, and claimed we were happy because of it, just to end up miserable and once again crying out to the Lord for mercy and help, because we took the devils bait and got torched. Yet the Lord always accepts us back with open arms and forgives us. Knowing that helped me to make it thru more hell than i have time to share with ya right now. Im on 3 years seperation and the Lord has begun to finally restore my marriage and relationship with my wife. She too told me how wonderfully happy she was and i didnt know it at the time, but she was shooting meth with her om. Hes in prison now and shes very sick, but the bottom is harder for some, like my wife. I didnt give up on her and loved and prayed for her thru it all, and she hated me for a few years. she is now in love with me again and i have made it thru some very low points. It isnt over yet, but i know if you remain faithful in prayers and trusting the Lord, He will see you thru this all. Dear Lord, I pray you give my brother your strenth to make it thru his heartbreaking and lifeshatering trials, because Lord, we cant make it on what little strenth we have. Give him your peace Lord and encourage him to continue to trust and pray for the restoration of his marriage. Lord i ask that you would destroy the works of the enemy on his wife and her mind. Lord, bring her false peace and happiness to an end with om. We thank you Lord for your faithfulness, even when we are faithless and grow weary. Let your will be done.<BR>In Jesus name, Amen<BR>Mark

Hi Mark,<P>Thanks for your prayer and concern right now. It feels good to know someone else is praying about my situation.<P>It's tough becuase my wife is clueless to how I feel. She says things like it's a shame you and the OM can't be friends. Has she got no idea? Doesn't she understand the pain that he causes? Obviously not!<P>The bible tells us to pray for our enemies, so I pray for the OM, but I have no idea what to pray about with regard to him? Maybe I should pray that the Lord forgive me for the hatred and resentment I feel towards him.<P>Thanks again Mark,<P>Plec

I forgot to say in my last post Mark, that I thought you were so right in saying my wifes A is an addiction.<P>Last week she had a really bad week, lots of turn downs for job applications and other problems. She got to a point where she was really unhappy, the only way she could sort herself out was to go and get her fix from the OM! Sometimes I feel she just can't cope with life, and sometimes she just has to run away!<P>Your story is truly amazing, I pray that the Lord blesses you for the courage and faith you had to stick by him.<P>Saying all this I have my on addiction, since my wife and I seperated I've been smoking cigarettes. I know it's so bad for me and i'm going against the Lord by doing it, but I find it so hard not to quit. It just seems to relax me more.<P>Thanks,<P>Plec.

Plec,<P>Don't listen to anything she tells you. She is TUI (Talking Under the Influence of you-know-who.) She is going to tell you the same things all of us have heard: She loves you, but she's not IN LOVE with you, she doesn't want to hurt you, but she's not attracted to you, you should find another woman, she can't imagine living without this OM, bla bla bla. <P>It's all the same because the enemy is so boring. <P>I am not at all trying to diminish the fact that the words hurt because we are all human. But try not to let the words get to you because she is not herself. Pray for her salvation and for the salvation of the other man. Pray to his and her and your guardian angel too, that they do their job and help this painfully misguided pair turn back to the Lord and snap out of it.<P>Reach out to Jesus because He allows these horrible things to happen so that He can bring us real peace, the Truth and the Light and nothing will ever get to us like this again. It's a test of fire. Keep your eyes on the Lord and you will be so much stronger and purer.<P>He's asking you to get out of the boat like Peter and walk on water. He wants to sanctify you and if you keep your eyes on Him you are going to help save a lot of people because the grace of the Lord is going to be poured on you more and more.<P>Now if you were the enemy, what would you do? You'd try to get the holy one, the faithful one to give up. <P>So now you know what the game is, keep praying and keep your eyes on the Lord. The closer you get to the Lord, the fiercer the attacks (just ask Mark) but they don't last forever and we are with you. Open your heart. You are more than halfway up the mountain - keep going. We'll keep you going when you fall as long as you keep checking back in and praying for everyone here. This forum will really help you and of course you should read the Gospels as your daily bread.<P>Holy Jesus, bless this wonderful man. Only 24 yet so precious to You, so good, so kind and so loving. Jesus, I can only imagine the great plans You have in mind for him after this trial. He is going to be a wonderful soldier for you - a strong knight like all the men on this forum. Jesus, give him the grace he needs through the blood and water You shed on the cross. Help him to find all the right people in his life to help him stand and resist the lies of the world. He is going to do it. You want his marriage restored and rebuilt on YOU, the rock.<P>Jesus, we particularly need more men who are brave as he is in your church on earth. So many are falling for the lies and it takes great courage to go against the tide. Bless in a special way today Mr. Lee, Pleco, Mark, Brian and all the men on this forum because You placed men over women to lead us and so many have ducked this special trust You put in them.<P>Jesus, I smile because I feel the power of Your Most Holy Spirit and I can feel the changes in my own life and soul since my trial began. I feel so much closer to You and I know You want to cover us all with Your peace and love. I know we are particularly special to you because we are standing for an important goal. Please let each of us see the waves of change that our love, our forgiveness and our desire for reconciliation are provoking across our neighborhoods. Let us not be proud but humble in You - knowing that if we are not broken, it is because You lift us up. The smaller we become, the greater is Your glory. <P>Thank you for letting us share in the salvation duty of Christians as we reach out to do our best to bring You the fruits of our suffering.<P>For any of us who waver, remind us that we with our minds and bodies we cannot make even a grain of sand but the God of the Universe can do anything He chooses. We are like little worms next to You, but that's fine, because as small as we are, for some reason, You love us. And that is the biggest miracle of all. <P>What can we ever do to make it up to You? Nothing, really, except love You with all our strength and accept Your love by opening our hearts to You. Thank You - Thank You, Thank You, Lord, for our blessings, for our trials and for the glory which will be Yours when our families reunite under You.<BR>Amen.

[QUOTE]<B><P>It's all the same because the enemy is so boring. <P></B><P>Oh, Trying, this is SO GOOD!! I hadn't really thought about what it means that the "enemy is so boring" until I really let it rattle around inside my brain for awhile, but it's true!! First of all, the proof is in the fact that ALL WS's say the SAME THINGS!! How can they do that?? They all don't know each other, yet they all quote from the same script...isn't that amazing? OBVIOUSLY they get it from somewhere. They get it from our enemy!!!<P>"They don't love us anymore... they never loved us...we'd be better off without them...they wish we'd understand how this OP makes them feel...we'll be better off without them...go on with our lives (also heard from others, like family members...we'd probably like the OP too, if we'd try..." I'm sure we can all add to this list. This is just what came to me off the top of my head. <P>The reason our enemy is so boring is because IT WORKS!! And the reason it works, is because it cuts deeply to our very ROOTS of who we are. For instance, God is love, and we are created in His image, therefore we are loving beings, too, requiring love and giving love. Soooo, Satan uses that need to fuel our fear. He did it with Adam and Eve. They KNEW God had commanded them NOT to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God said they would DIE. The devil came to them and said they wouldn't die. Since that was something they feared, he used it against them! So he HAS to be boring, since there are only a few BASIC needs that we are made with, and he MUST attack those, since we can fight off other attacks. It only hurts where we are sensitive. And he knows this.<P>I love it when God reveals a deeper truth to me from his principles! It means I'm right where He wants me!<BR>Lupo<BR>

Dear Plec, I still smoke cigs. Dont be so down on yourself right now for slipping in some areas. You are under great fire and the Lord is going to start from the top down. He starts with the heart. God will deal with everything in his time. He can take my cigs from me at anytime. Dont let the accuser of the bretheren lie to you and tell you your worthless because you smoke cigaretts. Its a speck in your eye. Your wife has a log in hers. Its that simple. The closer we draw to the Lord , the more he reveals areas that need to be dealt with. The enemy will lie to you and try to make you feel guilty for areas Gods not started with yet. Dont buy it or you wont be able to turn to God with all your heart. Right now God wants to heal our hearts and He wants us to have a close relationship with Him first and foremost. We need to walk in the spirit instead of the flesh. Its a long process, but its one that needs to continuse to grow. Anybody can quit cigs or overeating, etc and many can do that with their own strenth. God is dealing with deeper issues here, like unfaithfulness and unforgiveness and compleate trust in him. These things we cannot deal with in our own strenth at all. They are miracles that God works in our hearts. Draw closer to your maker. He made us mainly to have fellowship with Him. Most never realize that(im talking christians). Most think God put us here to be happy and have fun and do good works. They all have there place, but are last on Gods list. God is greived that most put Him about 9th in their lives and dial 911 when He is needed. When we realize this, and many of us going thru marital destruction are blessed cause we realize we need to be very close to the Lord. God works out all things for those who love Him. When we are close to the Lord, we cant go wrong. Its not an easy life, but God already gave us eternal joy with no more tears with him and satan cant take that away. Satan only wants you to focus on this short life. then sell out for a few good years that end in pain and destructuion anyway, as most of our prodigal mates will soon realize. But still they are blessed to have those of us whom live Christs example and never give up on them, and love them thru it all. And when they turn back, we will wecome them with open arms. They are going to need a strong mate that is close to the Lord. They are headed for some serious judgment. Judgment begins with the house of the Lord. This is a different judgment than the damnation one. This is Gods mercy and grace , saying its time to change and turn back to me. Its time to grow up in Christ, and stop living like a baby. God is calling His children back to him. Let us continue to press on for the mark of the high calling. The world needs to see a difference in us as Gods people. We truly spread the gospel, by how we live as standers in our marriages. I have never seen such reaction and amazment from people. The irony is the people of the world are generally touched, and Gods people are disturbed and convicted. Im tiard of hearing about my rights, from well meaning christians. Jesus had a right to destroy those whom crucified Him. Let us truly live by His example. <BR>Mark