I just can't get out of this sadness I feel at what is now looking like the probable end of my M. I have been praying since March, when my H told me he loved me but "wasn't in love with me" anymore. He moved out 3/17. I started IC 4/4, to deal with the issue on my part that had caused him to want to leave. D-day was 5/6. I have been trying SOOOO hard to be loving, forgiving, etc. since then. We've had some WONDERFUL days since then. There have also been many stop-starts at recovery. I gave my H Plan B letter on 7/3. On 7/6, he came home professing that he KNEW he loved me, and wanted our M. Well, contact with OW continued from 7/6 - 9/11 (the day of the attacks on America, also my H's 40th birthday). I asked my H to move back out (to his sister's) after finding out once again, that he was back seeing OW. The day he left for his sister's, he handed me the "no-contact" letter that he'd written and left on OW's front door. It was the 3rd "no-contact" letter he'd written. The other 2 times, he'd call her right after sending it; actually told her I MADE him write them. She sent the 2nd one back, unopened, but all cut up (to me). Well, 10 days after my H left again, I AGAIN found evidence of renewed contact. I told H I could not handle it anymore. He BEGGED me to give him 1 more chance. I let him move back home 10/2, after seeing an e-mail he'd written to OW, telling her that he did NOT love her, that I was the love of his life, and that he would spend the REST of his life making it up to me. H came back home on 10/27. On 11/5, I received information of a possible A WAY back in 1989, and confronted him with it (LB'd BIG TIME). I screamed at my H, told him I could NOT STAND ANOTHER A, whether it was in the past or not. He denied it all. He has used that night as his reason for wanting to sell our house, separate and eventually D. I've been terribly suspicious that it's back on again with OW. No concrete proof, but this is how he's acted all the other times he was back with her.<p>I've been praying solidly since March that God would help me, my H and our M to heal. I'm losing hope, faith, trust.<p>PLEASE help me with what to do..... [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>MOM

Mom,
I am BS too. My circumstances are different, but I think all BS's share something in common. I am sorry you are hurting so bad. I will CERTAINLY pray for you & your M right now. Chabat

mom--<p>sorry things are "roller-coastering" right now for you. Have you been to restorem.org? I have a e-book you might want to read. If you want it, then just let me know--krystalhw@aol.com.<p>I went on that ride, too, but have since decided to get off the ride (that is another way of saying that I gave it up to God)! The "hold" the OW has on your H is because of the enemy. It is not likely that your H even realizes it. <p>Dear Lord,
Today I lift up myownme. Lord, she is hurting, and needs You to carry her. Please turn her H's eyes back to his family. Thank You so much for your promises, Lord. WE place all our trust in You and only You, Lord. I pray a hedge of thorns around this family--keep the enemy out, Lord. Please show MOM your never-ending grace...help us to look only unto you, Lord! We love You so much, and thank You in advance for the work You are doing in our lives. In Jesus precious name,
Amen!<p>I hope all goes better for you, and let me know if you want the ebook!<p>Krystal

Dear Heavenly Father,<p>You alone are worthy, our Father, to recieve honor and glory. Father, help us see that when we take our eyes off YOU, we sink!<p>Lord, help MOM to stay focused on YOU and Praise you BELIEVING that You are in control of her life and H's life. Father, we know that the enemy is devious and a liar. Lord, we KNOW that WS's everywhere just believe the lies, and fall for all the schemes. Father, separate the OW in this situation from MOM's H's. TAKE HER OUT of his life. Lord, we thank You that when we ask anything, believing, You will do it!! Therefore, we know it's already done, and she will soon TIRE OF HIM and kick him OUT of her life!<p>Help him, Lord Jesus, to turn back to his family, see his sin for what it is, and become revolted at himself for his behavior. Lord, Thank You for Your answer to our sin. Thank you for dying for us, and washing us in your blood and making us white as snow. Father, because You died for us, we can approach your throne of grace BOLDLY and ASK as a child asks his father for free gifts, and that You delight in giving to us what our hearts desire.<p>Speak to him, Father. Speak to him while he's asleep, while he's awake, while he's working, while he's sitting, while he's shaving, while he's listening to HER, let him hear NOTHING except YOUR VOICE, for You have told us, "My sheep know me and hear my voice." Thank you, Father, for your Power, Your Grace, Your Mercy, Your Love for us.
Amen<p>Lupo

You are in my prayers. Only God can heal the hurt we feel. Only God can bring the light to our WS.<p>I will pray for your peace.<p>Needing

Thank you ALL so very much. I just don't have the words to express my gratitude.<p>MOM [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Well, all, I found out for sure that the A is back on. My H says this is final. We are divorcing. I'm continuing to pray that God will give me the right guidance and strength. I'm also praying for God to open my H's heart and eyes to see. Thank you all for the support.<p>MOM

MOM-<p>Do NOT lose faith! I agree with plan A--so keep on doing it. My H was "done", too, but look where he is now---All he needs is just ONE touch from God, and everything will change in an instant! When we were going through the worst of it, I THANKED God for the healing of my marriage, because I knew HE was faithful to HIS word.....I continued, and still continue to heal this marriage---Believe that it will happen, and it will! Your H can say all he wants......just the enemy making him feel that way!<p>I am praying and thanking the Lord for the healing of your marriage--You are in my thoughts, and prayers. I have a ebook on this. Do you want it? It is from rejoice ministries.com---pretty insightful, and it helped a LOT! <p>You are in my prayers!<p>Krystal

Krystal,
Thank you so much for your prayers. I would love to have a copy of the e-book. My e-mail is:
klazaretti@faegre.com<p>Thanks again....I will not give up hope!<p>MOM