Despite my wishes,hopes, and prayers, I'll be hiring an attorney and filing for D tomorrow.

My wife has become more and more distant from me, has not made any moves toward reconciliation, and has mentioned that I shouldn't push her a few times or else she would go to her family's place (1800 miles away) and I know she would take our boys with her. Once she makes this kind of move I know I'd never be able to be a part of their life again in any meaningful way. In our state once I file she cannot leave the state with our boys and I of course will persue that to remain the same after the D.

This will be the hardest thing that I have ever had to do in my life. I have prayed constantly to God to give me strength since our seperation 1 wk after D-day. On the advice of my attorney I will be moving back into our home at about the same time that I have her served with papers. It will take about 6-9 mths to move to completition. I'm sure I will need as much of God's strength during this time as possible.

I appreciate your prayers and still hold out some hope that we can reconcile during this time and do what I believe would be best for us and our children. I am prepared however to see this through to the end.

God please give me the strength to make it through this with dignity, and help our boys come through this with as little pain as possible.

Thank you for your prayers and God Bless.