So glad you brought up this chapter again. I had planned to and was thrilled to see someone else did. Great news NewDay. Our father is so awesome!<P>The change me pattern is so hard for me. I am in need of learning some tough love boundaries that I know will be received with anger and much wrath. I also know though that I am not being honest if I do not do this. I am not serving my husband if I continue to allow him to verbally abuse etc...I can be honest and say I am scared of the road I have to take, but really feel God leading me in this direction. In counseling, pastor says this might even mean a physical separation is necessary. I suspect that my husband would file for divorce if I did that, but now I see that I am allowing fear to control me. The spirit in me is not one of fear, but of power and strength and love. It is more loving to set limits. <P>Gulp! Lord change me!

Since there were also comments and concerns in the ohter forum about the "shut and pray" message, thought it might be good to bring this back to the top again.<P>From the time when we first started this study and now, I find it amazing how God is changing our attitudes. I think we are learning much more about the authority over the power of all evil that God gives us, even to the point of understanding that God does not expect us to be little mice in a corner reaping the crumbs from our husband's.<P>To understand that God is in control and that we don't know everything He is doing in our husband's life, and how we can sometimes prolong answers to our prayers by not keeping our mouth's shut has been healthy growth. I think that we are learning to be more specific in our choice of words we use, trying to be more concise in addressing issues or setting boundaries and to expect treatment more consistent with scripture. To seek the wisdom of the Spirit first and then to speak as lead, increases growth in all of us. Right now, many of our husbands are growly old bears because we are changing...the old tactics are not working any longer and God is dealing with them in ways we could not.<P>PR 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.<P>How many of us before were like a dripping faucet and our husbands turned off their ears to us?<P> PR 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword,<BR> but the tongue of the wise brings healing.<P>How many of us are learning not to be reckless with our words?<P>PR 15:2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.<P>PR 16:1 To man belong the plans of the heart,<BR>but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.<P>Where else would we get knowledge except to pray?<P>PR 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.<P>How many of us have felt or given the sting of a love buster? It is a behavior we are trying to change.<P> PR 21:23 He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.<P>There are many more scriptures but our goal is to build godly marriages, to reduce any calamity in our lives. I still believe in shutting up and praying!<BR>

SueB, did I miss something? What happened on a different forum about the "shut up and pray" comment? <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><I>PR 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.</I> How many of us before were like a dripping faucet and our husbands turned off their ears to us?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> THAT WOULD BE ME.<P>I'm with you on this, SUAP is still my motto. Maybe its not what others should do in their case, but in mine, it is the right thing to do. God's word tells me that my H will be won to Him by my behavior, not necessarily by what I say. God has had a hard time getting it through my thick head that I need to let go of H, and let Him handle everything. Thanks for bringing Chapter 1 back up. Yet again I need to go study it. <BR>

Yes, there was a comment made on another forum stating great concerns for the shut up and pray philosophy, so when Taj suggested that they come back over and read the chapter 1 discussion, I figured that since my guess is the person never read the book, a better explanation about shutting up and praying might be in order.

bringing to the top for scared and lonely

I may be way behind you guys... but thanks for pulling this up for me. It is great I have learned so much...I daily am asking God to cleanse my own heart so that I am worthy to pray for my H and his OW's I feel that part of the key in not only pray for my me and my H (although it is the most important part) but to pray for any of the women he has already contacted or will contact in the future. Now I ralize the computer is only a tool for the evil that satan has instore for us it is not the enemy itself. Satan comes to lie,destroy and kill... NOT IN MY HOME! IT IS COVERED IN THE BLOOD OF JESUS! AND MY MARRIAGE WILL BE RESTORED EVEN BETTER THAN ORIGINAL! that is my promise from God and I remind satan of that every time he tries to tell me his lies.<P>Lord, I pray that you guide each and every one of us in your footsteps so that we may be the wives that you have intended us to be, show us what we may do to improve ourselves for you Lord. You are the Potter we are the clay, form us into what you desire us to be. Give us your peace and joy Lord. I thank-you for what you are doing in our hearts and the hearts of our husbands (even if we can't see any results yet). Please continue your mighty work in us. <BR>AMEN!

Amen Scared & Lonely. Praying for you dear sister.<P>

Up for all interested. I think it would be good to start this again. Hugs to you all.

Up for all interested. I think it would be good to start this again. Hugs to you all.

Hi SueB,<p>Thanks for bringing this up - very interesting reading.<p>Could we begin again? Maybe begin a new thread -- or are you thinking the history of this one would be helpful to continue on??

I only brought this back up so that you all got an idea of how we did it two years ago. Hard to believe that it has been two years already. Go ahead and start a new thread if you desire. Just was hoping others to be motivated to start it again.

up from a joyful Lizzie, who is now 2 1/2 years past dday and he and I are still in love!<p>Please don't forget the purpose of this forum. The book is a great tool, get it, use it,
and <p>SUAP!<p>love, lizpearl [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Ok maybe I am missing something here is there a book or something that goes along with this topic? I would love to read a book that goes with this study group.