Thanks for your reply. I read your profile and saw that you think your wife has had 8 affairs?? Wow-I can't imagine. You seem like a very spiritual person and I guess thats what keeps you going and trying. I keep telling my husband this is one time and I know it will be the only time, we have been together since I was 16, alot of history to throw away for a one time mess up. My counsleor told me I was basicly rebelling against him because the church and God were more important than me and the kids. Even to this day he will say he knows he neglected me but he was doing "Gods" work, boy I think the Lord is going to deal with him on that and maybe losing the church is what it is going to take. I don't want that to happen because he will blame it all on me. He doesnt' want to take any responsiblity and thinks this was all about sex, it wasn't of course we all know that. Affairs are mostly about the emotional that we are missing. I only had sex with OM 3 times, the affair lasted 6 mo. Here he is a Pastor and rejecting me and you are hanging in there for someone who has done this continually-go figure???<BR>

Ultrad,<BR>Keep praying for him. God does answer prayer. At least you are repentent. I know my W has a lot of issues that I have learned about that had I known I would have taken a different approach to things. I would have done the same things but in a slightly different way from a presentation point of view. This has been my problem all my life but God is working on me because I know I am not as trheatening as I used to be.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR>

ULTRAD,<P>Saw this post and read it after posting on your other thread. Have to say that not everyone knows that affairs are about emotions. Sex has a lot for many men's affairs, it is not surprising that your H feels this way. As I said before, please understand that your H is a human being and his need to get closer to God does not wipe away his weaknesses. <P>I know you are angry that he is having a difficult time dealing with this and forgiving you, but please understand one thing. You chose to have the affair and you chose to end it. He had no part of those decisions. You made them for yourself. He is left to deal with it and it does take time. All of this is further complicated because apparently members of the church know of the affair and are actively involved with the reconciliation process. This puts any decisions he makes under a microscope. If he forgive you he may be viewed as weak or at fault for the affair. If he does not he is viewed as unloving and a hard man. However, the bible does say that divorce is an option in the case of infidelity. <P>I am not advocating he do such a thing, but it is much easier for us here to see your point of view and help. We are not in your H's public situation and we are not emotionally attached to you. Please consider the whole picture. We will help you as much as possible but remember he has a right to feel hurt, angry, depressed, and full of doubt about himself. But you can help him, it will take time, care and surely counceling if you can find the correct councelor. That may not be easy. It should certainly be someone that the congregation does not know in my opinion. Your H has too much to deal with as it is.<P>God Bless You and Your family