Hubby got up on Saturday, showered and then took off saying he had to go to a meeting. Not a usual encounter for hubby who moves very slowly in the AM. Was gone 3.5 hours and in a good mood, somewhat calmer looking in his appearance. He made two comments, that he was quiet because he was tired of talking and then he brought up an incident where his feelings had been hurt "for my information". I suspect my hubby met with pastor during the time he was gone. If so, PTL!<P>Prayer please that God will continue to break down the hardness of our hearts and continue to teach us about himself, that our wills are bent towards his will, that we learn to be merciful and full of grace as he has been with us. That I can continue to strive towards being the woman of God as He desires, that I am able to speak the truth in His kind of compassionate love. Thanks!

<P>Dear SueB, You know your H better than most, and God wiling, you are right!<P>

Prayers for: "his wife!" <P><p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited July 19, 2000).]

TNT-<BR>Don't know if this will help you or not back in my college days, one of the psych therories (Adler I think) was that dreams were the subconscious way of dealing with things that we couldn't deal with in the daytime, anxieties, etc. The dreams might portray things such as people you know or it might even be more abstract. What I learned from it though was that I would ask myself how I felt about the dream to identify the feelings or anxieties I was experiencing. Once I could identify it, then I found I could make a plan about what I wanted to do about it. For example, how differently your husband might have responded if you had been able to identify feeling afraid of being alone again since the two of you now had reconciled, of how much you realize that you need him in your life and how much you appreciate him, etc. More than likely you would have received the hugs and affirmations that you needed at that time. <P>As far as he anger goes, identify its purpose; is it getting even, covering a hurt, passive aggressive stuff sort of like hubby owes you...acknowledge your sin before the Lord. As I shared before and find myself checking daily is my pastor's statement that "sin" is in the response, and so I need to check how I am responding to my husband, etc, so that I am not caught in the same trap. And I realize that reconcilliation on my part is to confess that sin and ask forgiveness of my husband, even though he may not do that, I still need to do my part. Will keep you flooded in prayer!<P>Father God, we praise you for the gift of grace and your mercy towards us though we did not deserve it. Father, please pour this grace over TNT today and bathe her in your peace and mercy that she might be energized to extend that same mercy to those around her. Free her from the bonds of anger, release your joy over her and let it pour into her heart to its fullest. Holy Spirit bring the Word to TNT's heart and mind repeatedly today, every encouraging verse bombard her mind and boggle her with the encouragement of your love for her. Give her spirit of boldness this day, IJN, Amen,.

Please pray for my family to be close to the Lord, that we will share our thoughts and feelings and grow together. Pray for my H to accept and recognize spiritual feelings and manifestations in his heart. Pray that this trial we are facing will help us to grow together rather than apart.

Sue B, thanks. <P><p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited July 19, 2000).]

TNT- No, dear sister, it is not sad to want conflict to end, to desire turmoil to smooth out, etc. <P>Your dreams confirm the same anxiety and turmoil you face daily, a dersire for some kind of remorse from your husband, while he just wants you to accept that it was one of those things, no big deal...life goes on, etc....a child who isn't sure how he is supposed to feel about anything and I suspect (guesses are just guesses you know, you only know what is true for you)that it irritates you that perhaps the only one that you almost can align with is the X who does act remorseful, ashamed and that makes it tough to hate her. Add one unsupportive dysfunctional family and you feel like you are drowning and want to stop the world and get off.<P>You want to protect your child, you want to honor your husband as commanded, you want to go foreward and keep getting pulled back. <P>I know that everyone is probably tired of hearing about Boundaries in Marriage, but I just see how it relates so positively to POPW in that we continually find ourselves back in chapter one, asking God to change us. HNHN seems to be wonderful for two people who want to work together and accept the POJA, but I am not finding many of us on this forum who are blessed with particular commitment to unity.<P>When I find myself wanting to stop the world and get off, I am increasingly aware that my Boundaries have been abused again. I find myself back in the place of reaffirming who I am in Christ and then contemplating what that means in my relationships with others. Am I honoring God by not stating limits to family members who are less than honoring of myself. If I don't honor myself as his daughter, how can I expect others to honor me as well? If you had a strange heckler calling you on the phone every day and harassing you, would you stand for it? Then why do you stand for such disrespectful behavior from "family members" who know better than to act like that? Does that make sense? That seems to be what God is teaching me right now. I continually have to ask myself "what is the truth about this"...and " what does God say about this" and then find the healthy balance between the two. The next thing is the "sin is in the response " thing that I mentioned earlier. <P>I know what God says marriage is supposed to look like and I have to do my part in creating that kind of healthy environment. Right now, my husband doesn't see my behavior as working towards that goal nor does he see limit setting as a good thing, but I know that for him to honor me, I need to honor myself.<P>I have followed your journey since I came to this forum and you and a couple of others, HW, Taj, Lor and Kozee have the tenacity that I am not sure I would have had if I had been wearing your shoes. I have been inspired on my "give up" days to not give up because of the length of time that you have battled for your marriage. <P>But just as HW is realizing, I guess I am seeing a further need in the changing of myself to find my contentment in His hands, find my joy in His presence, etc. and to make those changes as a daughter, sister and heir to the throne that limits disrespect and abuse. Each of us have areas that God is working on in our journey with Him. I am grateful for this forum for the encouragement to grow in Him and the challenge to keep seeking His face and even the exhortations that our dear Karenna makes me take a look at! LOL<P>You are in my thoughts and prayers.

My prayer request for this Tues. is for the Lord to heal my broken heart. I would also like to pray for my husband's salvation, the Lord to send the Holy Spirit to him to convict him every way he turns, the Lord to fill his heart, mind and soul with thoughts of his future - which way he is headed, heaven or hell, God to draw him so very close to him showing him the love, peace and understanding he would have if he would turn his life over to Jesus, the Lord to trouble his heart so much he has NO REST until he gives his life to Christ. And I would like to praise God for all of the prayer warriors on this site, as well as for my prayer partner at church.

Update: In a recent post "Good news" I shared some awesome workings of God and here's one more....I mentioned in the post that h is so much more my H now, except that he wouldn't kiss me still. well, as he left for work tonight he came and hugged me a long time...then as he got up to go, HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!! PTL!!!! PTL!!!!!!<P>However, though H told our dear friend that he had decided his place is with the family and that he hadn't called her in a week or so, guess who beeped him tonight, right before he is scheduled to have his 10 minute break at work?????? Yep, OW. Little does she know he doesn't generally carry that stupid beeper anymore, so I got the message and erased it. A short term fix I know, but let her suffer for a while!<P>So my request is that the Lord will continue to grow my H's love for me and the baby, and that he will send OW as far from us physically, emotionally, mentally, and technologically (e-mail, beeper, phone) as east is from west. I pray that H will be strong and have clarity of thought when he is contacted by her, that the holy spirit will convict him if he is tempted to stray. And I pray mightily that OW will be convicted for continuing to keep contact knowing that H is married, that the baby will soon be here, and that H is trying to refocus his life on his family. <BR>I know that the positive steps in my marriage are the Lord's victory, and He cannot be beaten by this greedy, inconsiderate adultress. <BR>It is a blessing to feel that sure of the power of prayer, and a blessing to know that with you ladies, I don't fight this fight alone.<P>Kim

I pray that I seek God with all my heart becoming like a little child who seeks Him just because I want to spend time with Him.<P>I pray that God soften my h's heart and that each time he wears his robe he will be compelled to seek God in talking with Him, praying and reading the Bible. I pray that God will put Strong Christian men in his path that will help to open his eyes,ears and his heart to God and His will for his life.<P>I pray that God work in my husband's life in ways I never expected.<P>I pray that God's will be done in my marriage.<P>I praise the Lord for drawing me nearer to Him and for all the changes He is causing in my life and my h's. I praise the Lord for He is in the middle of this marriage.<BR>