Yes, he just found out apparently that my husband has left me. He is sure that my h and his w are going to move in together. Well, I didn't want to tell him anything about the situation, so I just let him think it is over between me and my h. The man was suicidal and making threats towards my h and his w. I kept trying to get off the phone and using my kids as an excuse. But it was after 11 and he kept saying he knew my kids were in bed. God, it was awful. The worst part was that I hardly heard from my husband yesterday. So, I freaked and thought he took off from where he is. I finally had to hang up on the man. As soon as I did, I called my mil right away to see how my h was doing. She said he had the flu and was throwing up and very feverish and sick. So, that is why I didn't hear from him. They did manage to get him to the doctor and they gave him a prescription for Prozac. I am still shaking over that phone call though. It was very traumatic! I hope to hear a little more from my h today. I told his mom not to let him know the ow's h called me. I don't want him to think about that stuff right now at all. That may just push him to call the ow. I definitely don't want that!!!!!<P>I am going to work here in a little bit so I will talk with my co-workers about it. Hopefully I can put things into perspective again! I guess the man thinks it is over between me and my h and he is devastated because he knows he ruined his marriage. I don't know if my h and I will make it yet or not. I want it to work but I am just scared right now!<P>Woozy

Hi Woozy,<P>At this point try and not to react. Your OW's H is just scared to death. Why did you not tell him that the two of you were working on things? This might have alliviated some of his fears. <P>Your H was with his family and sick. I know when I have the flu and the like the last thing I want to do is sit on the phone and chat with anyone. Take it one baby step at a time. Hang in there you are heading in the right direction.

The reason I didn't tell the ow's husband that we are working on the marriage is because he will run right to her and tell her what I told him. I guess at this point, I don't think anything we do anymore is any of their business. The poor man was irrational. I felt terrible for him but it was very scary for me. He kept trying to get me to give him the phone number where my husband is staying. I wouldn't. I finally told him that I had his phone number and I would give it to my husband and he could do with it what he wanted. I don't want the ow to know we are working on things because if she finds out, she may try her best to find my h and undermine anything we have done.<P>I did talk to my h this morning and he has a job already. He starts tomorrow. So, that is great! And the gave him a prescription for Prozac. Unfortunately, he threw it all up yesterday! He said he is feeling better today. That is good!<P>I am just trying to remember to breathe through this whole mess!<P>~Woozy

How did the OW's husband suddenly become a menace here? Of course he's irrational, his wife just left him. I was pretty irrational back then too. He'll get better in time.<P>Chances are your OW can find your husband if she wants to. I think a more realistic reason to withold the number is to prevent any possible violence while this man goes through the angry phase.

Woozy<P>Try to remember that you are so much further along than you were last week. Its natural that you are scared but perservere and I am sure you will be rewarded. Be true to yourself and act as your heart tells you too. Try to think of it as a charicter buidling experience. You know the old "whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" saying. Think of the example you are setting for your kids!!!<P>It must have been hard for your H to come back and admit he needed help. It is such a good sign that he did that! It is slow going but from where I sit, it seems you are both moving in the right direction.<P>Acacia

woozy,<P>Hang in there. There are alot of postivies here. Glad your H has a job already!!!! Also, great that he is on the anti-depressants! Keep the faith, woozy, and don't let this guy upset you if you can in anu=y way stop it!!!!<P>Roll Me Away <P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Thanks for the advice. Yesterday was just very hard for me as I had only talked to my h in the morning. Then, I didn't hear from him the whole day. Then when this guy called me he really did throw me. But, I did realize that he had just found out what his wife new. That my h had just left me. She had told him that on the phone before he called me. So, I am thinking then that she doesn't know anymore about what is going on then what was going on last week. So, he was just going on the stuff from last week that I already know about. So, I had to remind myself that they don't know anything and after this, I won't answer my phone after 10:00. I do have caller id but the thing said unavailable when he called. The man has suspected the affair has been going on longer than I have. He did just find out about it two weeks ago. I mean, it was confirmed for him just two weeks ago. So, he has been dealing with it all this time. But, it just pushed him over the edge when he heard my h left me. But, he doesn't know the whole situation either.<P>I did talk to my h today. He had lunch with his best friend from high school. Guess what??? His friend has been on Prozac for a month now! So, I am hoping that gives my husband some comfort to know that he is not alone.<P>Also, my h's brother called me and we had a long talk. He and his wife our hoping my h and I will fall in love all over again via the internet. You know, an online romance. Well, I told him I would like that but that I am very afraid of being hurt again. My mother-in-law called me also. We had a nice talk too. So, they both comforted me tonight and that has made me feel much calmer. I need that!<P>Well, I need to go to bed and see if I can get a decent nights sleep.<P>Goodnight!<P>~Woozy