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Some of you will remember the 40's Royal Flattery club from last spring. FHL, Sir HA, TNT.... Unfortunately that thread seems to be lost in space.<P>This is a gripe thread for those of us whose spouse is around forty and decided they were king/queen of the world. Midlife Crisis? <P>I know I was left but if I don't vent somewhere I will explode.<BR>H finished his big job over a week ago. I have been very patient for a very long time. <BR>But....King Tut has entered the building.<P>He has no tolerance for anything or anyone. Everything has to be his way. He complains about the same thing over and over. <P>I know he is readjusting to being in a family situation but he is in PRE-AFFAIR mode. I am on the verge of telling him to go play with the bimbo because nothing we do is right. I will not play this game again!<P>All right all - whose spouse turned fortyish and decided that no one else could do anything correctly? Vent Here!<BR>I won't be around much since the "King" has control of the computer too. I'm turning forty in October. Do I at least get to be Cleopatra?<P>
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I am only 27, and my H is 26. I have been to a good website on midlife crisis. I thought my H had one. <P>DON"T LAUGH. We have 3 kids, a house, two cars, careers, the whole thing. Some of our friends in their thirties aren't where we "were".<P>So even though I haven't the same experience, I really felt he had something similar to a midlife crisis, and if time holds true his miserable life is about half over. I can only hope, right?<P>My H has all the symptoms and he left for OW who is three years younger, but in our case, she is about as immature as someone half our age already.<P>I must say that I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS AGAIN in 13 years with current H or anyone else for that matter.<P>I am no expert but isn't is a relatively MALE thing? <P>Good luck, I hope all returns well for you.
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Lonelymom<BR>There is no set age for this midlife crisis.<BR>Did you visit friends-lovers.com?<BR>i think that's where I found "His Midlife Crisis". Very helpful.<P>I was helping my son with his homework last night and I read an essay by June Callwood I think.<BR>It started out by saying something like:<P>Adolescence is only an "illness" if it occurs sometime other than the teenage years. How true!!!!
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wassi,<P>HI, friend!!! ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>About your question...well, my H already thinks he is King Tut...does that mean this is a mid-life crisis???? I do think so, but, I am now thinking that he has emotional problems that necessitate him needing to be the "center of the universe" at all times in his life.<P>The best part here is thinking abot YOU being Cleopatra! Yeah....I can see the haircut on you know, while you order HIM around for a change!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! Wouldn't THAT be justice???<P>Seriously, try to hang in awhile. It is to be expected that he will be extra grumpy right now. Give it a fair chance, wassi.<P>Roll Me Away<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>
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Hey I have one of those H's like RMA, who needs to be the "center of the universe" at all times. He has always been like this. <P>When he turned 40 two years ago, he got even worse. Now no one can do anything better than him and nobody can do anything right by him. <P>At 41 he accused me of having an affair which I wasn't, but am trying to prevent now that I feel he is pushing me further and further away. <P>We just sat and tried discussing this tonight after an incident last week that had my older D almost in tears. She brought her grades in school way up, one from an F to an A+. Wasn't good enough for him though! Go figure! <P>I like the Cleopatra idea!!!
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Does my lovely qualify????<P>31 sleeping w/a teenager....He makes her feel "young"...I made her feel repsoncilbe<P><BR>I agree w/ Desiree..hang in there...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>
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Will get back to you all later.<BR>I'm on my way out the door.<P> Bill - just had to say - when we discussed this before we came to the conclusion that 30 is tougher for women than 40 is.
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A site to check out...Midlife Dimensions Q& A page on midlife issues. (Note, if you click on any of the q's you;ll get a new page with the answer...and with "resources" at the bottm...the last resource is usually "more Questions and Answers" ...going thru that is the only way I've been able to access all of the Q&A... <A HREF="http://www.midlife.com/html/q&a/q__a_frameset.htm" TARGET=_blank>www.midlife.com/html/q&a/q__a_frameset.htm</A> <P>Kathi
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Oh Yes, I am married to the ultimate Queen Bee, the Goddess (I used to actually call her that - probably a bad idea), the Queen of Heaven!<P>Does anyone remember that old PBS series called "Rumpole of the Bailey" in which the title character was a Brit barrister with a W (we never saw) he always referred to as "She who must be obeyed." That's my W.<P>Sometimes, when we come in from outside and take off our shoes in the foyer, she still demands that I kneel and remove hers. And guess how I respond, folks?<P>Does have its lighter side though. Whenever she goes to the bathroom, if I'm around, I announce loudly, "Her majesty is assuming the throne!"<P>Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/cool.gif)
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Hey Wex! YES, I remember that series. How about this one...do you remember the 60's movie "She," starring Ursula Andress? Total tripe, but gotta love it. Her character's name was Ayesha, meaning "she who must be obeyed."
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Lucks - Didn't see the UA series, but did read the Ryder Haggard novels ("She" and "The Return of She") on which the series was based. Kind of a 19th century Brit Indiana Jones discovers Her. Strongly recommend them if you like s.f.-fantasy. Always thought it would make a great movie or TV series! Too bad it sounds a bit hokey. But I'd forgotten the "She Who must be obeyed" part. (My W is definitely One of Those.)<P>--Wex<P>--Wex
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To "was stubborn",<P>I think it is the same. This is the sitehttp://friends-lovers.com/articles/midlife.html<P>I found that my H had all these symptoms at age 26. (He even had a vasectomy at 25) so maybe he is having one. I still go with the assumption that he lost his mind.<P>God Bless@!<P>
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can my H be having one he is only 29? I thought of this when he first said he wanted a Divorce in july.<BR>Lesa<P>------------------<BR>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net
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wassi,<P>well...since H and I both had an affair at 40, I should say that the mid-life crisis had a bearing on it! The again, my H's previous affairs were during the 7-yr. itch... we're just so stupidly obvious. Not even unique or anything. Jeez...<P>Little did I realize that my life was just beginning, not ending! What a do-do I've been...
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Hi guys!<BR>couldn't get online yesterday - probably a good thing.<BR>Sam - I'll e-mail you later if I can.<P>Desiree - I really tried hard to be patient but all it did was feed the self centered mode. ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) <P>Kathi - Thanks for the link! Any new info helps.<P>Wex - I love it! My H is simply "His Royal Highness"<P>Lucks - Never saw that one but I'll have to check it out.<P>lonelymom, LMS<BR>I don't think age really matters. Like my son's assignment said: "In the 20's it's identity crisis, in the 30's and 40's it's midlife crisis." Just adolescence at the wrong age.<P>NB<BR>you are not a do-do!! <P>Okay here's the thing. H has relapsed so far into pre affair mode that I can't take it.<BR>Last night was the ultimate.<BR>I was struck by a debilitating migraine. The kind where you can't tolerate any light, or sound, numbness in arms, frosted window vision, vomiting...<BR>H found me in bed when he came home from galavanting. Asked if he could do anything. I was out of my meds so I asked him to call the store, get some. I asked for a cup of tea (which was already made) and a wheat bag for my head.<P>He called the store. PERIOD!<BR>I got my tea etc.<P> Then he had a bunch of noisy men in for 3 hours guffawing in the kitchen. Never checked on me once.<BR>18 beer later they left. He went to town to "get me something to make me feel better"<BR>Went to the bar. PERIOD.<P>This morning I got up and drove my son to school, in a storm, Through foot high drifts, with my migraine.....while the King laid in bed.<P>Any suggestions? The only LB I committed was to cry from the pain. <BR>Isn't this just a little much?<BR>Am I over reacting because of the pain?
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Wex--<P>Yes, indeedy, the "She" movie based on the Haggard novels! Hokey-hokey, but still worthy of watching.
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Did King refuse to get up or was he passed out? Not that it makes much difference.<P>Do you think it was the drinking that contributed to his insensitivity? Does he drink more when a big job is complete until he gets busy again?<P>In other words is this the d*** beer talking and not not his sober self? Or he is being The King 24/7 these days?<P>
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Well, given the situation, I'd say it was a love bustette.<P>Isn't amazing how we betrayeds can link any behavior...to the affair?<P>Your H was probably wondering where that came from. However, it was reasonable for you to make that comparison. My own H finally decided he kept calling not to continue the relationship, but that he felt obligated to see how she was doing. I don't think she had lupus, but does a skrew lose count? I think she had that. This obligation seemed to be more important than telling the truth.<P>As much as this whole thing stinks, your H's actions may be more behavior and linked to being under the influence rather than based on feelings.<P>I'm beginning to think most men have the emotional skills of a wad of bubble gum.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13
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