Ackkkkkkkk!!! <P>H is off on business trip. The good news is that he gave me kisses before getting on the plane. The bad news is that he hid his cell phone or took it with him (no, he wouldn't need it for the trip) I know, I know, I am <BR><B>assuming</B> that it is because he doesn't want me to know who is calling. I also know that he would say that <B>his</B> phone is none of my beeswax. I don't feel the same way, but am I wrong?<P>He is supposed to call when he gets to his destination and I am afraid that I will not be able to contain myself. I don't know if I can just let it go....what is there to hide? This is my ongoing dilemma with my H. I'm tired of being his doormat. and why do I do this to myself?<P>I am <B>very</B> insecure right now. I will keep saying my mantra (see title) but I don't know if it will work for me anymore.

RC,<P>Ask yourself this question...<P>"Will I remember this 20 years from now when we are living our lives together in peaceful harmony?"<P>If the answer is no... then don't let it bother you... <P>You can get thru this and keep plan A-ing.<P>YOU CAN DO IT ! ! ! ! ! <P>Keo

Keo,<P>you don't know how much that helped...or maybe you do. Thanks sooooooo much.

rcoaster, I know the feeling, the doubts and the trying to figure out why, but believe me, it's not as important as all that. O.k. so he took his cell, my H almost slept with it, it seemed to have been surgically attached to him. However, that didn't prevent our recovery - even when she kept calling for months after it ended - nor did it prevent our marriage to get as strong as it is now. Focus on his actions towards you, on any positive things you can see, and try not to concentrate on things that seem- or might be - negative, that will only sidetrack you. <BR>When he calls, if he didn't yet, be nice and encouraging. Let him feel good about the phone call and miss you. Talking about the cell might have the opposite effect, he certainly won't miss arguing.<BR>Count to 3 and leave your doubts on a shelf just for now.<BR>Do take care<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

I actually behaved with calm when he called. I did not LB, I did not LB, I did not LB. I just hope that I can continue....<P>Kat -<BR>How did you put up with her calling him? <BR>This is a major thing with me. That she still calls him - at MY home! It has been going on soooooooo long. I guess I just have to look at it as he may talk to her - but tonight he <B>did</B> tell me that he loved me at the end of the phone conversation. Couldn't help it, I cried. <BR>Then I think, yeah - but did he really mean it?<P>Can I continue? I am trying, but it is very hard to trust. And beside that I'm feeling pretty pathetic for being on line here for so long - oh, well, I know that the rest of you understand.<p>[This message has been edited by RCoaster (edited February 12, 2000).]

just an update.<P>I have now made it through 2 whole days of <B>not</B> saying anything negative to him. Can I continue? I'll just keep telling myslef, Yes I Can. Maybe it's easier because he's not here - no wait, no maybe about it. <P>BTW, took that bottle of pain pills and flushed them. <P>Thanks everybody.