Hi guys,<P>something has just hit me, from a conversation I had with H last night.<P>We were actually talking, about what had happened, and he admitted that she paid him attention, he felt that I didn;t. OK, I'll cop that one on the chin.<P>When the children visited with him after Christmas, we had a deal that OW would not meet my children. Whether he stuck to that, who really knows. He says she didn't meet them.<P>This next statement is what has made me feel physically sick.....<P>He said that due to us agreeing that no new partners would meet the children for a period of 12 months, it caused him a lot of 'angst and heartbreak' that his f...ing OW could not meet my children.<P>I didn't get the full impact of that last night, but where does he get off. The only heartbreak that he has suffered is because OW couldn't meet his children. Well, f... you. <P>I apologise for my language, but I am shaking with anger.<P>I am so close to ringing him, and saying that I am still coming to Melb for my weekend of R & R, but the children are staying here.<P>I have to go, I have a tradesman coming, but if I didn't get on here, I would be on that phone ringing him.<P>I AM SO ANGRY....<P>I'll get back on as soon as I can, children permitting....<P>please help me be strong guys, I need you.<BR>I could kill him....<P>Jo

Jo,<P>This is the OW that he is no longer seeing? They have no brains!!!! My D invited my H to grandson's bithday and H says I am not going to ask if OW can come you are ready for that yet. Where is his head I will be there. I will never ever be in the same place as the OW ever!!!!!!! Told my D that if she ever was allowed to come to anything that I was suppose to be at I wouldn't be there. There is no excuse for either of our Hs. Except they have no brains. No feelings no nothing!!! (I know a double negative) <P> Vent all you want I will listen and I know how you feel. Let me know how you are doing. <P>Got your email. {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

yes, the OW that he is no longer seeing. He calls her 'boil the rabbit' too, which is what we now call her. She has seemingly turned into psycho woman !!!!!<P>He is obviously going through his little withdrawal phase, I guess, but I just don't care any more. He cares not one whit for what he has put me through, but is/was upset that OW couldn't meet his children. I could just scream. What the hell is he thinking.<P>Puuhhlease.<P>I am so angry, I really could kill him.<BR>The insensitive, selfish pig.<BR>I don't ever want to speak to him again.<P>Thanks for talking<P>Jo

{{{{{{{{{{{{Jo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>They haven't a clue, as to whats right and whats wrong....<P>Everything they say and do is hurtful...Expect nothing else and you won't be let down....<P>When did your H say this?<P>Recently?<P>Any how, be strong....what will it really accomplish getting into a yelling match....<P>Try not to get too discouraged by his stupid remarks...he is still under the influence of Adulrty...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hi Bill,<P>he said it last night.<P>He has never, not ever, mentioned the heartbreak that he may have gone through about us breaking up, just that OW couldn't meet his children. <P>My heart bleeds for him.<BR>I have never felt so angry before, where the hell is Keosha, I need that gun.........<P>love and hugs to you, still got your wedding ring on ? I hope so.<P>Jo

Jo,<P>Yes I still have my wedding band on...<P>Like I said it never stops amazing me the depths of their insencitivity....<P>I have been assured that they have been posessed by an alien being...<P>Robin and FLRB are redecorating <BR><B>MY HOUSE!!!</B><P>Oh well...I still go to bed each night with a clear concience...<P>Keep watching my posts for the next week or so....Robin is in for a big shock...<P>Bill<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

OK, here's a question, did he tell you it caused him anguish and heartache then, OR NOW? I mean, that was then and then he WAS BEING an inconsiderate something or other. He is no longer attatched to her so I don't think it would cause him heartache now. Or am I reading this wrong?<BR>After all the stuff that betrayers pull and he's honestly reflecting some emotion that he did have, letting you know he did experience some pain, however warped it was, you would let this bother you? I guess you are just too much like me! I would let something like this bother me and never take the conversation one step further, maybe you need to do that. I am speaking from experience, I think he's just expressing what had happened back then. I don't think it sounds like he intended to hurt you but to be honest with you. Sometimes it's so hard to deal with those "honest" thoughts, they hurt the most. But the thing is that he's doing the right thing, he's not hiding or not showing his feelings, however stupid they might be.<BR>Anyhow, I hope you do something I just learned how to do, take a deep breath and ask him to clarify the statement. This isn't love busting, it's just digging into better communication. God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!

Unbelievable....<P>You are among the people here that amaze me. I feel so weak, and pitiful.<BR>I was letting him go, had let him go in fact, to have a nice life with whoever he chose.<P>anyway, my children have just spilt milo (a choclate powder you mix with milk) all over the carpet. Just what I need.<BR>Now I really am going to ring him and give him a serve. Big LB or not, I don't care.<P>take care of you, and a big hug to you<P>Jo

Jo,<P>Have you read Harley's book? It talks about the fact that you can't expect them to show remorse. That they may never show remose or ask for you to forgive them. It is just a part of the addiction. Also the addiction dosen't let them see how much they have hurt us. Al least not until they have gone through the withdrawal, and maybe not even then. <P>Now comes the hard part. How you deal with it. That is something you have to decide. Whether you can deal with it or whether it is the last straw. You have to decide that. Lots of {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} my friend.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

chicks,<P>thank you thank you thank you.<P>I just read your post, and that stopped me from ringing him.<P>Yes, it was referring to back then, just after Christmas. Well, he spoke in the past tense, so I took it that way. His words were 'it gave him angst, and some heartbreak' that she couldn't meet them when they were visiting.<BR>As they are no longer together, it has to refer to back then. Right?<P>I'm glad you made me think, however, I don't know how strong I can be, to keep hearing this sort of thing.<P>don't I rate a mention anywhere in this sordid little saga? don't my feelings mean anything at all?<P>I guess I need more of those patience pills. <P>thank you for giving me a different perspective, and making me see the error of my impatient ways.<P>love and hugs to you<P>Jo

Hi di, <P>we must have been posting at the same time.<BR>He has shown a little remorse, he said last night that he was constantly thinking of all the hurt he had caused, not just to me, but to everyone. Does SHE even rate a mention here, at this point. I can taste the bile again.....<P>I keep meaning to have a look at the bookshop site, for Harley's books. I haven't read any, and the bookshops I've asked in here, don't stock them.<P>I will do that, however, with semester starting, I just won't have the time.....<P>I need my time management skills workshop again, I 'll have to make time for this I think. What is more important.? The jury is still out on that one.!!!!<P>Thanks for talking, and the hugs<P>Jo

Jo, <P>I understand completely why you are so angry. My H picked our kids (ages 3 & 8) up from school and galavanted all around town with OW. Even took the kids and OW to work to show off! He even planned on the children spending the night with him and OW. Well, when I found out what he had done, I called my attorney and had the kids back that night and my H hasn't pulled anything like that since. <P>My attorney has worked it out so that when the kids go visit, the OW can't be at their apartment or my H must stay at a hotel with the kids. Either way she has no access to my children. Of course, this set-up drive my H crazy but there is nothing he can do about it <P>Personally, I think your plan to wait 12 months to introduce the children is a great idea. These betrayers are just to self-centered to realize what they are doing to their children's lives. Take care.<P>

thanks Tulip.<P>I havent called him, but I am still so angry.<P>the children are spitting big dummies at the moment, have to go<P>thanks for responding<P>Jo

Jo, dear, won't Amazon.com ship to Australia?<P>Or MB?<P>just wondering.<P>BTW, we have had a family crisis. My 29 year old sister just died suddenly, leaving a fatherless 3 year old son. He is in my 71 year old mothers custody in Massachusetts. We will fly up there next weekend for a memorial service.<P>Originally, we were supposed to be the designated guardians...by my mom wants to keep him with her.<P>what a mess we make when we think with the wrong organs!<P>lizzie<P>be strong, hon, you will survive and thrive in the end!<P>did you make welsh rarebit my way yet?<p>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited February 24, 2000).]