something comes up and bites me on the butt.<BR>To night it was my D tape she plays on her Fisher Price tape player. It's a recording of x-mas morning 1998. I can still see us all opening gifts and loving all the time together that morning. Hearing that brought tears to my eyes. Knowing what was and how things are now and wondering what the future holds. Sometimes the feelings are unbearable. I listened to that recording my memory alive then I get kicked in the gut knowing she's spending the night with that [censored] in my house acting like they are ****ing married. I just want to puke. I miss her terribly sometimes and then others I hope she just rots. Man I'm getting tired of this friggin yoyo.AAAAARRRRRRGGGGG<P>Anyhow I hope I don't bring you all down to much, I just had to get that out.<P>I love y'all,<P>Bill<P>We know not what the future holds.<BR>But we rest in peace knowing Who holds the future.<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hey Bill,<BR> Don't worry about bringing us down, most of us are down here all by ourselves and we're just happy to not be alone. LOL<BR> I hate to watch movies these days, as the sight of people in love makes me cry.<BR> Lora

Bill,<P>It's about time you had a good vent. You have tried to be so strong for so long, and you are deserving of some major support!! <P>We all have our down days and Lora is right, we know when we're here, we aren't alone. I think by now, we all have huge shoulders, so lean a little!<P>Prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Bill,<P>When did all of this start? It seems we have alot in common. I'll tell you that the yo-yo begins to stop once you enter a no-contact situation. I can't really say "plan B" because I am divorced and my motivations are not to get my Ex back. However, I can see that "plan B" can work because of the release no-contact has given me. I actually find myself liking her again somewhat. Self-protection prevents me from being to friendly though. That part is something that I had to learn. Self-protection and self respect. Please don't translate this into contempt, all I am saying is that this place has taught me that the commitments of marriage MUST mean something. If this is not shared then there's no draggin' that horse to water. They must come to this conclusion themselves, if not, it's just not real. No amount of "plans" or manipulation is going to change that part. Sometimes they have to be left to their own designs, to make that change. If we read the principles carefully here at MB, we see this is the underlying theme.<P>My 2 cents, take the best of care,<BR>Eric

Vent away Bill...<P>We all need to do this... <P>Jim

Bill,<P>We are all here for you! Not much one post could do to bring any of us down compared to what our cheating spouses have done.<P>I know, the up and down stinks. I am not on Plan B, just Plan "I give up damn it". and I go from being real secure with my decision to doubting it. I notice my down times, are getting shorter. Or I recover a little faster each time, have you experienced this yet? <P>It will get better, Plan B, will either save the marriage or let you fall out of love, so one way or another, you may find some peace someday.<P>Prayers are out to you tonite! Dana<BR>

Bill,<P>Just got on. I have moved and just got my computer set up and online.<BR>You know what else that yoyo does it puts such spins on everything. A thought. the next time Robin has Abbey send a copy of that tape in Abbey's tape player. Maybe it will bring tears to Robin's eyes and put some memories of how it was. BUt besure it is a copy just in case it doesn't make it back. I know we are suppose to put guilt on them but a little guilt never hurt anyone. <P> Bill, never feel bad about bring us down that is what we are here for to listen and give a shoulder.<BR> I have been in that plase so many times so vent all you want.<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Bill,<P>Sorry to hear about your troubles. I wish I could say it gets better. But it takes time. As Dana said, you will either save your marriage or fall out of love with her.<P>I guess I missed something, did you move out ? What is lrb is your house. I think it is time you set some boundries.<P>Lots of love and prayers,<P>Bob

Bill,<P>Sometimes I really think the "hoping she rots" aspect is your mind protecting itself. <P>It really does help. That tape must of been tough. Don't you feel soometimes that you are being tortured for no good reason?<P>I know and you know that no matter what happens you will be OK. You will love agin and be stronger. Maybe it will be with your ex. Maybe not. But you know you will be happy again. It's just waiting to get there that stinks. <P>

hi everyone. I'm feeling a bit better today.<P>Lora,<BR>It is reasuuring to know I'm not the only one going through this.<P>Mitzi,<BR>Thanks for the shoulder and support. Some days I have to act stronger than I feel just to make it.<P>Eric,<BR>It started on Oct.3.......You are basicly correct in all you said. Thanks<P>Jim,<BR>I hate to bellyache, but it does happen and you are right we all need to vent.....You are do for a good one yourself....LOL<P>Dana,<BR>Yes it will either get better or I will fall out of love. The latter is comming on strong.<P>Di,<BR>Robin has heard the tape...Abbey listens to it everynight...I made arrangements to talk to R next weekend...We haven't discussed anything since Dec22...I'm still trying to learn some tricks on this yoyo...LOL<P> Bob,<BR>I moved into our new house on Nov15.She remained in our old house...jI treid setting boundries, to no avail, so I'll let her hang herself if she choses.<P>Joe,<BR>I feel like I am being tortured everyday. The tape is tough. D listens to it every night. I try not to hear but last night I did..YUK...I am feeling better tonight. So now I need to get some chores done.<P>Thanks everyone,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hi Bill. Glad to hear you're feeling better, it's a rough rollercoaster ride sometimes, huh?<P>It would seem your wife is probably about to or just hitting rock bottom about now (?). There's no other way but up from there, hope she figures this out pretty darn quick, or she'll really be making the biggest mistake of her life. Take care in the meantime..

Hey Connor, Haven't seen you around much.<P>How are things for you? I've had that Scorpions song "Loving You Sunday Morning" stuck in my head for a couple of weeks now....LOL<P>I hope Robin is near a bottom...I'm still waiting...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<BR>Hugs and prayers to you. I am glad you are feeling better, those down days are the pits. Triggers of D-day and beyond as well as memories of "life before" have a way of doing that. <BR>God Bless you and D. Ihope next week is a little easier.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

Bill, LOL.. now I'm going to have it stuck in my head!<P>Things here have been going pretty well, we're just trudging along, but really kind of happily. <P>I don't think you'll have to wait too much longer for Robin. From what I've read, she can't take that relationship seriously with the OB (at least for much longer...it has to come to the point of realization!) <P> Take good care of that wonderful little girl of yours (I know you are)...I've got two little girls, they are my world.

Glad you're better now. Been thinking about you. (Yup, even when I don't have time to post, I still THINK about everybody!)<P>I'm so glad we've all got each other.<P>Hang in there, Bill.<P>Lori