How about, 'I don't have the will to go on with the relationship(marriage). I have nothing more to give (I am still wondering what was really given).' 'Don't you think its best that I tell you this now rather than years down the line? This isn't something I just woke up and decided, I have been thinking about this for a long time.'<BR>So does this mean that the whole marriage was a sham. I knew we had problems but still. Was it all just an act on his part?? I am so confused.<P>Soul Searcher.<BR>

When I was having one of my love-bustin' hissy fits, I told my H that his lack of sexual interest in me was one of the reasons I believed that he was having an affair and that when we did have sex, he acted like it was a chore to satisfy me. He said, "Well, it's too much trouble and takes too long for you."<P>Now, the frequency of sex is back up to normal (2-3 times/week), but over the last few weeks, it seems to be all about him. When he's satisfied, he gets up and cleans up and comes back to bed....leaving me hanging. Needless to say, that remark of his keeps playing in my head like a tape recorder, so I'm really having a problem with asking him to continue.<P>I'm really getting to the point where I don't care if I do have sex anymore, and I'm finding myself eyeballing other men.

Hey,Sweetpea,<P>Sorry to change the subject but I read something that caught my eye.<P>If this is too personal than just tell me to go fly a kite.In the past has your H given you oral......and has he stoped now.It has always been really good,he even says so.He has always given me oral to the point of "O" than intercourse.Now when we have sex,it is making love it is more pationate and w/a lot more feeling,but he hasn't given me what he was doing before.I am kinda puzzled and wondered if maybe it was the same for you?<P>Thanks [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]: [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]<BR>

Hi, w.g.up.h,<P>My H has done this, but to be frank, he seems to be of the opinion that it's more blessed to receive than to give.<P>We were married for a long time before he ever even mentioned oral sex. I kind of feel like he must have experienced it somewhere else. Anyway, it was a new thing for me and took a while for me to adjust-- partly because of his actions during it. I'm fine with it now, though.<P>We don't have the passion that we used to have and I miss it. We used to wake up in the middle of the night--already going at it. <P>Right now, my H's favorite position is sideways...like we did when I was very pregnant. It does nothing for me, as I like to be able to look into his face and hold him and have him hold me. A couple of years ago, he apparently lost his sexual interest in me (maybe because of Cafe Woman????!!). Anyway, for a while, when we did do anything, he would not be able to finish. Since then, I have been content to let him finish first and wait for my pleasure. Only now, he's leaving me hanging. <P>It's not that he can't satisfy me; it's that he <B>won't</B>!!! <p>[This message has been edited by Sweetpea (edited March 08, 2000).]

All the things you say your "wayward" spouse said to you are things my ex said to me, so it is not just about who cheated on who. It is about whomever is more in the marriage at the time. And whomever is the meanest.<P>How about these charmers that my ex told me (numbers one and two and three while I was literally on my hands and knees begging for forgiveness)<P>1. Sl*t<BR>2. Mutilation<BR>3. Any other name you can probably think of.<BR>3. I wish you would jump off a bridge<BR>4. Give me my key back. I don't want you killing yourself in my apartment.<BR>5. I don't love you, respect you, or admire anything about you.<BR>6. You forgot my birthday (his b-day was the day after he told me #5 and about a year of daily to weekly stuff numbers 1-3).<P>Sweetpea,<BR>Got any batteries? :-) How 'bout the 'ol shower massager (on low). Lots of non-hubby ways to take care of yourself. Hubby can be involved or not. I think you'll find he'd rather be included...<BR>