Well, I had another interesting weekend. On Sunday, I called my husband in the morning at work to tell him that I had the renewal for his motorcycle registration. I told him I would drop it off later that day, as I was going up to see my family. He asked me what was going on and I told him we were just getting together since my parents were leaving to go away again (they left today). He asked me where they were going and told me tell them to be careful because of all the bad weather.<P>Then he told me not to stop by too late. I said I didn't know when I would be back in town. And did he have to go home right away after work? He said no, but he didn't really want to hang around too late. I said, oh, I had thought maybe we could play the video game we like. He said "We'll see."<P>So I went off and spent the day with my family and then a couple of hours at work. And then I went over to the pizza place. I had dinner, and he and I chatted about stuff. We were discussing hate crimes and specifically the Diallo case. He went back into the kitchen for a few minutes. At the same time, I had to move out of the way of the guy mopping the floor. I was joking with him when I looked up and ... <P>Yep, slug walked in. I missed only a beat, finished what I was saying, and went back to my table. She went up and stood at the counter, but the waitress who was there hates her and she walked away from the counter after a minute or two. I took out my money and went up to the counter to pay for my dinner. Then I went back and sat down again. He came out from the kitchen and they talked. I decided I was not leaving. She left after a couple of minutes and on her way out she said "I'll be back." Which was, I'm sure, for my benefit.<P>After she left, I decided I would get ready to go, so I put on my jacket. He looked over at me and picked up the conversation just exactly where we had left off. Part of me wanted to shout at him "why don't you talk to HER about all this stuff?!" The other part of me kept talking to him.<P>We talked for another 15 minutes or so. And then I left.<P> I'm so confused. <P>Add to this confusion that a guy I know from where I work has been emailing me and we have chatted a couple of times via instant messenger... nothing is going on, and I don't know that he is interested in me in any way other than friendship... ::<P>I could use some advice and feedback here...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Terri,<BR>How come she shows up every time you are there ?<P>Could your h be calling her to see what will happen when you two run into each other ?<P>Sorry, just cycnical I guess ?<P>Bob

I bet he caught all kinds of grief later on. I think he was hinting to you that he didn't want to have you run into slug - because he knows it means a lovebusting session from her. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha <P>He's probably getting ready to stand up to her - he picked up the conversation right where it left off.... that means - that he is defying her... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha<P>You quit thinking about the IM guy at work, and start thinking about how soon before he tells miss sluggo to slime off!!!!!!<P>You get an A- today. Would've gotten an A, now if you hadn't have doubted....

Bob, she really doesn't show up everytime I'm there - last weekend I went earlier and she didn't come in while I was there (see my post "Weekend Update"). She has a lot of friends, and maybe they have seen my car there and told her I was there? I don't know ... I can certainly understand your cynicism!<P>TnT ... Oh, I have been on this roller coaster for so long that I doubt that any UP will not be followed by a DOWN. I grab on tight, expecting it. I would love to believe that he is standing up to her, and that he will be salting her soon, but I guess I am in kind of a self-preservation mode - can't get my hopes up too far or it hurts that much more when they are dashed to bits.<P>Thanks, though... <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

I hate to be the synical one here, but do you ever think that maybe your H just wants to be friends, and that the OW knows this and trusts that he will not encourage anything. It just seem alittle to convenient that she walks in, see's you and continues as if it's nothing. I know that she probably is NOT going to show her A$$ in public in front of you, but maybe she understands that he is trying to keep it on friendly basis with you and trusts that he will continue to just be your friend, this has been going on for bit long and there has been no indication that it could be romantic, unless I didn't read one of your posts.

Terri,<P>I'm still here <P>Our discovery dates are two days apart. We have chosen such different paths to recovery. <BR>What's going on here with you? What exactly are you confused about? <P>Fifteen months is so very long in Plan A, is it time for you to modify it? <P>Attention from a man, you now have room for this in your heart? What could this mean?<P>I know you said seeing your H with slug does not bother you but, that must be difficult and confusing?<P>How does your H live in the same room with his Wife and his slug? Does he have any respect for either of you?<P>Terri, I think the other responders here see much truth.<P>- Slug IS showing up there because YOU are there, regardless of how she finds out. Your H speaks to slug with you there but will not speak to you when slug is present. Who is getting his respect in this instance? Is he showing slug ANY defiance if he does this? <P>I think he's used to having you hanging around after all this time. He knows for sure you are still available to him. He talks to you and makes sure everything is okay on the "Terri is still waiting, Terri is still my friend" front. Not an uncommon infidel fantasy, that the world accepts the new relationship and everything is ever so okey-dokey. <P>Does any of that mean he is one tiny bit closer to ending his affair? <P>I think T24G has something with the friend aspect of this. Does he think he can be your buddy? In any case, the friendship is a secret from slug. Does this mean ANYTHING when you consider the man is an infidel?<P>Your H shows no confusion does he? I think he makes it clear what your relationship is to him. He has not waivered in his non-marital relationship with you since he left. <P>It IS confusing to Terri. I know you are very opposed to Plan B, or have been. Are you ready to modify your Plan A? <P>I can see you've been trying to work through something here lately. Where is WhoDat when we need him?

Had a really bad emotional day yesterday, but I'm feeling quite a bit stronger tonight.<P>trying2_4give, you wrote: <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I hate to be the synical one here, but do you ever think that maybe your H just wants to be friends, and that the OW knows this and trusts that he will not encourage anything. It just seem alittle to convenient that she walks in, see's you and continues as if it's nothing. I know that she probably is NOT going to show her A$$ in public in front of you, but maybe she understands that he is trying to keep it on friendly basis with you and trusts that he will continue to just be your friend, this has been going on for bit long and there has been no indication that it could be romantic, unless I didn't read one of your posts.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Actually, this is only the second time out of a number of encounters that she has not followed up with a rabid email. So, she does not simply "do nothing." I don't believe she "trusts" him to be just my friend at all, which is why she has written me such vitriolic (to use a popular MB forum word) garbage in the very recent past. As for his "wanting to be my friend" that's not such a terrible thing while I'm waiting. All of the literature on affairs says that the vast majority of them end... I am patient.<P>The bottom line is that he has made no move to get a divorce, and he knows exactly what I want from our relationship. He makes decisions very very slowly - I will not give up. That does not mean that I will not look at other options to "pass the time" (no - that doesn't mean I think it's ok to become involved with another man) and it does not mean I am sitting around JUST waiting for him.<P>InShock ... you wrote (in addition to lots of other stuff) <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Your H shows no confusion does he? I think he makes it clear what your relationship is to him. He has not waivered in his non-marital relationship with you since he left.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Why would he show me confusion? Infidels do not show outward confusion - often not even when they are on the verge of breaking off the other relationship. There are lots of reasons for this - guilt, fear, insecurity. His actions have often spoken of a wavering at that line of "friendship" - showing up at my home the day after he returned from his vacation with the slug, telling me how awful his vacation was and coming back only minutes later to take me on a midnight motorcycle ride - that only happened in November. He came here to get his Christmas gifts toward the end of January and within 5 days had called me twice... once to give me a URL he had heard on the radio, and once because he thought I would have stopped by to see him that day ... He has admitted out loud that he still loves me (just not "that" way). He has encouraged me to visit with him and KNOWS what I want. What should I believe? Should I believe the evidence in front of me, or should I believe the worst?<P>I used to think I had no patience and that I was a pessimist. Now I believe that I have an enormous amount of patience, and an incredible optimism... I suppose I could be deluding myself, but I guess that is a decision I have to make based on what I see, hear, sense and feel here, immersed in the situation. It is impossible for me to share the nuances and the certainty I feel that my marriage will be rebuilt. There's just no way to convey that in electronic media...<P> Thank you for your responses... I appreciate every one of them!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Hello... is this the watchawant salt mine?<P>It is ! Oh good.<P>I want to place an order to be delivered.<P>How much ?<P>::thinking::<P>Oh a couple of tons ought to do the trick.<P>Why do I need that much salt ?<P>::thinking quickly::<P>Uh, Uh, I'm having a nation wide popcorn party (yeah thats it !)<P>Do I want it delivered to my home ?<P>Yes please.<P>My name ?<P>Uh, my name is Ms.Sluggo<P>Will I need help unloading the bags ?<P>Bags ? I don't want it in bags, just put it in dump trucks, tell the drivers to have someone knock on the door. When I open the door just dump it on me.<P>Am I sure about that ?<P>Of course you silly person.<P>No I don't care about the cost just bill me.<P>ok bye.<P>hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe <P>I'm not suggesting that anyone (terri) do this to anyone (slug)<P>I just have a strange sense of humor today, ok most days, ok ! all the time !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Oh, Deb! I do LOOOOOOVE your sense of humor! <P> slug!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>