After much thought I have decided to give up and move on. I feel like H is just playing mind games, and I don't want to play anymore. I haven't talked to him in 5 days and plan to continue to have as little contact as possible. <P>The last time we spoke he told me it was up to me whether we would reconcile. I am going to do the things he requested, but more because of me than him. <P>It has been 7 months since discovery and he still won't even admit he is having an affair. At this point, I see no reason to keep trying as he just continues to lie to me. I'm not closing the door completely because if he dropped Ow, started being honest, and really tried I would probably take him back. Even after the divorce. <P>If he wants this divorce and ow he can have both. I just want some sort of a life back! I figure that things aren't so hot with ow and eventually he will return from lala land. I'm just not willing to wait any longer. <P>The funny thing is that I'm really not upset about my decision. I think the pain he has caused and continues to cause has just taken its toll on me. <P>I hope that all of you can continue to work on and restore your marriages. I will still be around but probably not posting much...just lurking. Take care and thanks for all the great advice!<P>Tulip

Tulip, <BR>Reading what you said, is like an echo of my own life. <BR>Others have advised me not to quit coming back and I am glad I didn't.<BR>It's very hard to finally "give up" and try to move on. I really don't want to, I Love my H and want to reconcile, but I've realized my H has to experience what his "other life" would have been like.<BR>I think it's the only way he can be sure he did or didn't make the right decision.<BR>For me I know I must try this single life again. I know it's not what I want but it's what I have and must make "some lemonaide".<BR>Things have settled down for me, because I'm not focusing on H, but more on myself and my family. Hard to do, but I'm doing it. <BR>Of course "faith" that God knows what his plan for all of us is. Has opened my eyes and heart.<BR>I've left this site many times, but keep coming back and seeing small glimmers of hope by the post I've read. Our situation changes day by day. I've not lost hope, I'm just trying to move on... <BR>Tyra