Feelings come and go. We all know that because of our own situations.<BR>Isn't Love more of a decision?<BR>Any thoughts? <BR>

Love is a feeling. Commitment is a decision.

My pastor did a sermon on how Love is a Choice! It starts out as a feeling, and "in love" attraction feeling. <P>To love somebody is to care more about that person's happiness than your own. It is definitely a choice at times!<P>Too bad our spouses don't realize that yet!

My thoughts on the subject:<P>Love is not a noun, it's not a thing you have.<BR>Love is not an adjective, it's not a description of how you feel.<BR>Love is a verb, it is what you do!<P>Love is an act of will, an expression of heart, a gift of spirit.<P>Cheers,<BR>Kenneth<p>[This message has been edited by Kenneth (edited March 16, 2000).]

It seems to me that if love was a decision all of the people who are in pain because of infidelity could decide to stop loving their spouses and end most of the pain.<P>I agree that love is a feeling, something beyond our control. The actions we take because of the feeling are decidable choices.<P>I love my husband, no matter what. I didn't decide to fall in love. I made the decision to marry him and commit to our marriage because of that love.<P>I further made the choice to forgive him and join him in rebuilding our marriage because of that love.<P>If I had decided to divorce him, I would still always love him.<P>My opinion, of course.<P>Peppermint

I think( a thought, not a feeling) I've based my Decision to Love as a result of my feelings. It would be easier to say you have made me "feel" so awful that I don't want to Love you anymore. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. That is where LB come into play.<BR>You keep Lb and then the other person starts losing the "feelings" of joy, happines, etc.<BR>That is when you make the decision to stop loving someone. You stop, thinking about all the good times, and wonderful feelings they helped create. Start dwelling instead on all the negative emotions that your interaction with them produced.<BR>I think, I'm really beginning to understand Dr. Harleys concepts. <BR>Plan A to keep giving the other spouse the words or actions to create the feelings , of wanting to preserve the marriage and to get you to the place where you will try.<BR>Plan B is really to help "Stop" the breakdown of those positive feelings from being replaced with all the negative feelings. Gives you the time to gradually lose and maybe forget those good feeling with the other person. When you finally do that, if the other spouse does not want to return to replace those good feeling, then we can move on. We will be able to make the decision to stop loving the person who left, or betrayed us or whatever.<BR>I too believe Love is a decision and cannot understand "Why " H couldn't decide to just Love me and try to rekindle those feelings.<BR>Maybe because HE decided not to Love me anymore. Hard to accept, but makes it bearable to move on. <BR>Hope this makes sense, or am I just rambling again? <BR>Tyra<P>