My H. came home from a weekend business trip and began acting "different" when questioned about the co-worker. <P>They have worked together on-off for a few years during some very tense times at their business. My H. works long hours and I am at home with 2 small children.<P>I believe my H to suffer a significant amt. of covert depression. He sleeps poorly and has a lot of physical complaints.<P>After the trip he seemed normal at work, yet at home he could barely make it in the door before collapsing into bed for an hour or two. He would complain of being cold and put on two robes. <P>He denied changing yet was the exact opposite of what he was. Obviously I was devastated. <P>I spoke to my family and his. We are all close and they confronted him also. He finally moved out about 1 month ago.<P>He still denies an "affair" but we all know otherwise. Much talk has sprouted in the town. H was very much a family man before this. Everyone seemed to see it as an "affair". And who do you think they would guess..... I mean it is really a cliche.<P>A couple of problems. He won't change jobs. He won't really discuss Us. And all of his family knows much of what is going on because they have been trying to help, which he refuses. He keeps telling them that I am saying too much.<P>When I say that my H left me and the children to anyone they immediatley either say "I don't mean to be tacky, but is it an affair because it always is".. Or "Spouses run away from things to "things"". People surmise quickly...especailly when you are two opposite sex working so closely together. <P>People have been coming to me with info. I don't look for it. I have been almost in isolation to try to avoid seeing anyone.<P>Plus I have heard that the OP is telling people that H left me. and other things;;;;;;<P>Separated people....can you reunite after such trauma??????

I'm wondering why he moved out? Did you ask him to leave? Why did you tell everyone, especially his family?<P>These things can be huge lovebusters, and cause some pretty significant damage. <P>Yes, it can be repaired. I've seen so many marriages that seemed hopeless repaired here... look up posts by K and the post by Brokenbutnotcrushed... very interesting reading... and it's very hopeful too!!!<P>Best wishes as you go down this road... it's not easy, but you've made a good step by coming here. The weekends are very slow, weekdays much better, so don't be discouraged if you don't get many replies before Monday.<P>

n_b<P>H. wanted to move out. He was feeling trapped by me and children and situation (whatever that is).<P>I didn't tell everyone. Family knew he was going to move out. They are all against it and was trying to get him to work on things because noone thought (including me) that there was anything wrong. There was MUCH assumption about the co-worker and not a lot of denying. Assumption continued at work and around town because they are always together and she is leaving her husband!!<P>Much gossip has gone around. Most of what started with me was just that he was "very different". Plus it was an extreme shock. We had made a few big purchases for our home and had some finalised vacation plans with the children and family right before the trip.<P>Some information has been attributed as coming directly from her as well, which she has denyed and my H as defended her and not me. <P>Just more good excuses NOT to deal with the issues I guess. <P>I don't know what else I can do at this point. Family members are a good support when you are depressed. Plus, everyone wants us to work it out, whatever the issues.