Hi,<P>H left me on Sat.I have a hard time being alone.Parents come tomorrow from out of state.I will go to work in the afternoon.H said he would come over and fix dinner for teenage boys.( It hurts me that he plans to come over when I am not here)What have I done that he wants to severe relationship with me. I didnt yell or scream or cry when he left,<BR>I just told him I wanted him to be happy.and that I hoped a seperation would improve our marriage.and then I offered to help him pack.<P>I have been a good wife since being on plan A.I can see that in his fantasy mind that he needed to seperate to continue his affair with with internet OW who is moving here soon.But what hurts is he is canceling all contact with me.How should I act .Should I wait till he contacts me?Others here have written notes to H saying they loved him.Shold I email him and end it with I love you?Or should I wait for affair to fizzle out a little?bethn I miss him I just want him back.

I don't have much time this morning, but I just wanted to give you a mental hug.<P>Hang in there. I know it hurts. <P>--HBC

bethn,<P>Hi, I'm so so sorry you are going through this.<P>Why is he avoiding contact with you ? Simple, guilt , he feels guilty for what he is doing, but will never admit it. Also if they keep thier distance they don't have to think about what they could be losing.<P>Don't push him. The more we push, the more they run ! Yes you can write him notes, just not begging notes. No please please come back stuff. Just keep it light and always end it with I love you. <P>I'd say you handled the leaving part well, when my h left me, I was horrible, I cried, I begged, I pleaded ect. Didn't do a bit of good. He lived with ow for 1 1/2 years. It wasn't until I stoped chasing him that he started to realise he missed me. With in two weeks of moving in with her he knew he had done wrong, made a bad mistake, but his pride wouldn't let him come home, besides he felt responsible for her (grrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh).<P>If you pray, pray alot, find scripture about marriage, remind yourself that God hates divorce, not divorced people but the seperation of what He has put together.<P>I know this is hard, I do remember ! H and I have been back together for 13 years now, it hasn't always been easy and the reason I am here is because he cheated again (didn't leave) almost 2 years ago. You can do this, Hang on, refuse to give up until and unless God gives you peace in your heart about letting go. Untill that day dig in and keep loving him .<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>