Yep, I'm still here. Haven't been posting much anywhere ... my life has been busy and complex. I decided that since my neighbors are still partying loudly I would take some time to post here...<P>Some of you may recall that recently I posted that I was "done" with my Plan A and with my marriage. Since then, I have thrown myself into other aspects of my life with a great deal of enthusiasm and zest! I have done lots of neat, fun things:<P>About a month ago I went to New York City to see the Broadway show "Saturday Night Fever" with a group from the college where I work. That was a fun day, and a pretty daring thing for me, as I have always been a little bit afraid of "The Big Apple"... The show was good, but didn't quite meet my expectations of a Broadway musical.<P>Last weekend I went on a deep-sea fishing trip with a group sponsored by my sister and brother-in-law's church. BIL was supposed to go, but got sick at the last minute and couldn't. I bucked up and went anyway - something that a year or two ago I would not have done. Got on the bus with the expectation that there would be a woman or two I could hang around with - but none of the other females showed up. So I spent the day fishing with 42 men and boys. Had a great time and brought home filets from 6 of the 10 fish I caught (got about 4 that were too small to keep - keepers were 21")! I am soooooooo proud of myself for facing up to my fears and going even though I didn't know a single soul on the trip!!! <P>And last Tuesday I was looking forward to my last class, a test and nothing more... when my friend emailed me with a desperate plea for me to come with her to New York City to see Les Miserables... the people for whom she had purchased tickets had backed out of going and she had 3 tickets that would be wasted if she couldn't get someone else to go. I called her and told her I'd see what I could do, and to make sure that the other people truly were not going to go. Then I emailed my teacher and told him very truthfully what was up. He graciously allowed me to miss the test that night and make it up the next day. And oh, was I so glad! We had front row, center stage seats!!! And the musical was absolutely incredible, wonderful, magical, heart-wrenching, uplifting - every possible emotion was there ... and I went through all of them magnified by my own sensitive emotions... I cried, I laughed and I cried some more ... I was so lucky to have had this opportunity!!!<P>But since then, I realized I am still on that stupid roller coaster! A few days this past week I have been so incredibly over sensitive that I am concerned I am making my friends think I am crazy! Well, not really, but I feel a little "over the edge" sometimes - and I don't know what to do about it...<P>It hasn't helped that since I've "let go" of my marriage that my husband has called me on the average of 1-2 times a week. And that on Wednesday night I had a flat tire as I was leaving work at 9:30 at night and the only one I could call to help me was him... :: Sometimes life is waaaaaaaayyyyyy too complicated! <P>Wow ... the neighbors have quieted to nothing ... time to get some sleep! <P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...

You don't know it yet...<P>...but you're growing dear Terri...<P>...yep... growing...<P> <P>Jim

Hey Terri,<P>I don't think you are really ready to give up. Do you? If I had a nickle for every time I called it quits with Val, well, I would have a lot of nickles. I have said before that I will be dead two years before I give up on this relationship. I don't know where I will be then, but, I'm sure I won't smell good. <P>I'm glad to hear that you are going out and experiencing life. You shouldn't be afraid of the "Big Apple" as long as you wear a vest and pack heat.<P>This is Terri's time. I feel we have all grown as individuals. I know I have. I was stuck in a dead end path. The affair has really made me reevaluate my life. I have come out a better person because of it. You have too. Sometimes it's just hard to see it.<P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Howdee,<P>T, if following MB and your 18 months of Plan A, isn't it time for Plan B? And yes, I know you tried that before and it had zero result BUT, this one's for you !!! I would also skip the letter with your H, it's been way too long to have any meaning.<P>I still think he's having one of the infidel fantsies that you will remain his friend. It's been written here several times by the infidels ....... move on, get used to it, and we'll just be friends. I am NOT forgetting that your H lives with the slug and continues with his in-your-face affair.<P>The time following when *you* have decided the marriage is over is really rough T. It's another feeling of loss and letting go. It too will pass as you accept the reality of your own choice (that's the nice part, YOUR choice)<P>Now, since I am 10 years away from one infidel and 2 years away from the other I'll say this; keep doing what YOU want.<P>Keep those rings off, pictures down, and put one foot in front of the other. I feel like I wasted 6 years of my life following some notion about self recovery and the proper time to remarry. See what good it did? So, go for it T !! Just as soon as you feel human again go find you a decent MAN. There is a lot to explore when a marriage ends but darn it, there is NOT so much wrong with you as the betrayed. Sorry, but I think the infidels are the ones who need work.<P>You know, I almost let a good one go because it wasn't "time". Lucky for me he just kept calling and talking and talking until I opened my ears and then my heart.<P>I hope you're getting your car stuff together too. Being a spoiled female myself, I went from Dad to husband taking care of car stuff. <BR>Get your spare tire, a couple cans of Fix-A-Flat and practice changing a tire. You'll never be stuck calling your H or <BR>needing help from a stranger. This will also allow you to help other women. <P>It is really aggrivating though, when you just can't get a jar open and you eat something else, so do get a man for this <P>I'll agree with NSR here, you are growing and you have outgrown your H. You feel like you're still on the roller coaster ....well, jump the heck off. Go back and read some of your own posts.<P>

As long as you're happy, Terri...<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

Terri,<P>Good grief my life is dull. <P> <P><BR>Go be the best Terri you can be!<P>Lor <P><p>[This message has been edited by Lor (Lor) (edited May 08, 2000).]

Hi Terri -<P>I agree with WhoDat.....as long as YOU are truly happy!!!<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba