removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{yuki miaka}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Just wanted you to know I read your post and am thinking of you...<BR>

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

Yuki<P>I am sorry you are not getting the support you need right now. Please don't give up there are many compassionate and understanding people on this site and believe me they all care and all have you and everyone in their prayers. Keep posting keep venting and telling your situation and people will respond.<P>Obviously this is a very bad time for you. You also must realize that it is a bad and uncomfortable time for your H and his mother. They are having trouble dealing with things just as you are and it makes for a terrible situation. <P>What ever happened in your marriage to bring the two of you to this point I think it might be good for you to try to understand what my counselor said to me once. He said that we (W and I) are each 100 % responsible for the trouble in our marriage and he was exactly on target. Once I realized that and once I realized my W's addiction to the OM and that the addiction gave up common sense, good judgement, and morality, then I could start working on bringing us together again. She was not going to do it because she is wrapped up in the fantasy so I had to be the one to start doing something. <P>That something was the best Plan A possible. For me it is a hard task since she is living 10 miles away and only wants limited contact. Never the less because I love her dearly ( more today than ever) and I want her back I am doing the best Plan A I can.<P>I think you need to stop and do some soul searching (if you have not all ready) and decide whether or not you want him back. And if you do you have to know that he is not likely to come back soon and he is not going to come back on his own. You have to do some things to help that along. In my case it is a goal of mine and I do not let anything other than my D interfere in that goal. I try very hard not to LB and I try very hard to meet her emotional needs...something I did not do well in the last couple of years of our marriage and something the OM has done extremely well for the last 4 months.<P>God is important to you and to me...but I know longer ask God to change my W or bring some sense to her. I now ask God to help me...to inspire me...to find ways to help bring me and my W back together. Not bring her back to me but to bring us together in a marriage much stronger than the one we had before al of this happened.<P>You must set your mind to a goal...you must set your mind to start meeting his EN's even though you may not get a response from him and even though he may not meet yours at first. You must continue to do Plan A to show him you are not going away and that you want to meet his needs and that you love him very much.<P><BR>I hope you continue with your pastor and I hope you find a female friend you can tell everything to...someone you can trust. I think it would be good to get a professional counselor also to help you understand yourself better. It has been a tremendous help to me. I hope you have read all the articles on this site and all the books you can.<P>I hope I have helped. I do not have an answer for the loneliness ....I am also very lonely. I do have some friends I have confided in and I have gotten a lot closer with D and my sister and nieces. This site is also a great comfort to me and I do not know what I would do with out it.<P>Love and Prayers for All!!<P>J W<P>

Yuki<P>Did you see the post??<P>J W

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

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