Hi BC -<P>I am following along.....<P>Tell us about your meeting tonight and also about your counselor and her thoughts and ideas.<P>BIG HUGS, <P>Sheba

Well I have given up.....My H has lied to me for the last time. I will not be treated like a doormat any longer. He is suppose to be working 6pm-4am. Well he didn't come home this morning and I know that the guy he is working with was home because I drove by his house. The only explanation is that he is with the OW. I have had it. I feel like I am ready to explode. It is pretty cruel that he goes at 4am in the morning to her house to sleep there until whenever. <P>I left a note at our house for him to call me as soon as he gets home that it was very important. It is now almost 9am and no call and no answer. How can he be so cruel. If she is what he wants and seems to need so bad he can leave. I am not putting up with him having both of us and all the things that go with it.<P>

Hi bc....<P>More big hugs coming your way. Did you get to Al Anon last night? For your own sanity, I think I would start implementing Plan B. What love you have for him left, should be protected.<P>You've been trying so hard. I can't imagine the turmoil you're in. I think if that's where he is, at the OW, then he should get a taste of reality of what it would be like with her. You've been doing everything by yourself for so long now...<P>My heart aches for you, it really does. I don't know what else you can do. If I were you, I'd definitely tell him, it's time to go. I know in your heart it's not the thing you wanted, but I think right now it's what you need. To preserve yourself.<P>Keep going to Al Anon whatever may happen. It's support that you need, and will be good for you.<P>Hang in there bc. We're here for you, every step of the way, no matter what you decide.<P>--purplemag

purplemag<P>Yes I did go to Alanon last night and it again made me feel better knowing I was not alone and that others had been down the same road. But then this morning when he didn't come home and most certainly is at the OW I am ready to lose it.<P>I called my lawyer to see what I could do but he of course is out till Friday. I want to tell my H if he needs her so bad then move in with her and leave me alone.

bc,<P> I am seeing your strenght develop. Alaon is proving to be an asset to you. Keep up going as much as you can. I know I have suggested in the past that you call Steve H. I know it is $85, but it is worth it at this point. I do agree that Plan B is something you should discuss with him. In the past you had financial concerns, but Plan B can be done with any impact on your bills if your h has a place to go. I would really like to see you discuss this with Steve. Don't ask your lawyer, as then you will get into discussion of money, splitting assets etc. Continue as you like with your lawyer, but you can do Plan B without figuring all that out right now. bc, I am so proud of you for going to Alaon. You can see and hear the difference in your attitude. It is helping you, which in the long run will help your family. You ARE doing the right thing. Keep up the good work. Call steve if you can. victoria

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{bc}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>I understand exactly how you are feeling. I was in your shoes a year ago from right now. My heart just breaks for you bc. I had to quit reading your posts, they upset me so much and made me cry, because so much of what you are experiencing is exactly what my H was doing a year ago. I don't want to relive that pain. <P>I appreciate 459's experience and wisdom, please listen to her. I thank her for sharing her experience with us and hope that what she went through will be of benefit to you too. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>They say alcoholics are in a state of arrested adolescence.....I believe that there disease hinders them from maturing...and the become spiritually, physically, and emotionally ill.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I wholeheartedly agree. My husband has been an alcoholic for over 20 years. His health is being affected. My focus over the last year has been praying for his salvation, because I don't want him to die and go to hell for eternity. "Nor thieves, or covetous, <B>nor drunkards</B>, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the Kingdom of God" I Corinthians 6:10.<P>I have to say I agree with the others. Detach yourself completely from him, bc, stay in Al-Anon, do Plan B; above all though pray for him. You are a precious, warm, loving human being and deserve to be loved and cared for. Stay strong bc. God will carry you through.