no, it's not what you're thinking...i just had to go in to deal with the assault charges from last week. <BR>well, i messed up royally.<BR>H kept telling me to plead "guilty with an explanation". now, ive never heard of this, and i wish he had just said, "say guilty", so the public defender jumps in for me and says, "not guilty" and tells me to make an appointment with him, and i have to go back next tuesday. i went to make the appt, and they laughed me out of the office, because i put my H's income on the form...told me to get my own dang lawyer.<BR>but i think i wont. H says they wont send me to jail on a misdemeanor, and that i should just go back next week and do what he told me in the first place. he asked me why i did not, anyway, and i cried and cried and told him "but i can't trust anything you say, so why trust this?"<BR>well, it was a big old learning experience, and it was funny how out of place i was- I was dressed like a lawyer, for sure, all dolled up and innocent looking. next time im wearin' jeans .<BR>i wish H could have come in the court with me, but he was in the car with the kids (i still have no babysitter out here in the boonies where we just moved), next time i think i can handle it with or without him.<BR>Now, on to more board appropriate matters...<BR>H came home last night very hung over, and incredibly apologetic, and seemed to actually really look at me for the first time in ages...telling me how pretty my eyes are and sorry he put me through all of this mess, and came up to my room to make love to me just to calm me down before my ordeal today, and was less insistent on the separation, said we could talk about it after i go spend a few weeks with friends in texas.<BR>MENTAL, my guard is up for any emotional controlling, since ive known what to look for (and heavens, i am so sorry your life was so horrible with your H, mine is never that bad. i feel for you)<BR>Lacee, he said nothing happened, and at this point, im just going to choose to believe it, lie or not, i don't need the stress .<BR>H is seeing his therapist now, trying to get his mess cleaned up. he admits he's not over OW yet (duh!), but at least we can talk about it to some extent, which we never could before.<BR>i took too many antidepressants for a few days there, and started having LSD-like effects, so i took a day off and am down to my prescribed dose, now that the heavy turmoil has settled a bit.<BR>god, it is so nice for H to be honest. the world feels so much lighter, even if the truth is ugly and hurtful, at least it's not all secrets and lies. ive been able to plan A much better, and think i am doing ok at it.<BR>well, thanks for letting me get this all off my chest, i feel a lot better sharing it with you all.<P>------------------<BR><A HREF="http://www.go.to/wcu" TARGET=_blank>loveWASblind</A>

Julie,<P>Gee gads you poor thing - you are just really being put through the mill.<P>I've got a better idea than Texas.....<P>I've got a better idea than pleading guilty.....<P>Call your crisis center and take the kids and go stay there for a few weeks. They'll help you out. <P>My gosh, your finger has been broken, you have suffered physical abuse as well as mental abuse - and I don't feel very good about your husband right now.<P>1) He told you that he was going out on Sat. night.... and didn't come home. It makes me wonder if he intended to get you so riled up that you would not be at your best during court.<P>2) Also, he did not come in with you to the courthouse - with the kids. He could have at least come into the hallway with the kids and talked to your lawyer with you if he was sincere.<P>3) He wants YOU to go to Texas for a couple of weeks.... why? Why? So he can go to court and say you took the kids out of the state without his knowledge? Or does he expect you to leave the kids with him? Or does he plan to say that you abandoned your family? <P>I'm serious, Julie. Go to the crisis center and get some peace - and support. You've got the power to do something about this - and it may help you in court.<P>TNT

tnt...as usual, i had not thought of it in that light. <BR>i promise you, left hand on the bible, that i will call the legal aid number that the YWCA people gave me tomorrow morning and see what i can do. <BR>We have been decidedly UNviolent with each other, because he knows that it is a real short trip for one of us to go to jail, and neither of us wants to tear the kids up like that...it was bad enough for K to see mommy driven away in the police car (and oddly, there is a clause in the sheriff's own pamphlet saying it was illegal to arrest me for that...but i think he was getting me on the phone charge...damaging a phone is a felony, so i don't really have a case for not getting arrested at all. either way, both charges are misdemeanors now).<BR>so, maybe it was for the best that i did not plead guilty?<BR>H would not be upset if we went to texas, he REALLY, REALLY does not want to involve the authorities in any way. he has WAY too much riding on his career, and way too many skeletons in his own closet <BR>i will call the legal aid tomorrow and see what i can do.<BR>i don't know what to think about the crap he pulled this weekend...it was something he's never done before...just incredibly poor timing for it?<BR>anyway, just remember back to when your H bruised/broke your ribs, and remember your reasons for staying, just so you know what im going through, ok?<BR>if i felt i were really in danger, i would not just be sitting here, i swear that to you.<BR>big hugs and thanks, <BR>julie