Okay, I am keeping my fingers crossed that I have not jinxed myself and said that too soon. I can't help it. I know that everything I have seen from my H is telling me that things will work out.<P>H stayed at our home for the second time in the last 2 1/2 months. It was his idea and he asked. Come to think of it. The first time was his idea too. Anyway, Friday night I went out and he stayed here to watch our D. I got home pretty late and he was still up when I got home. I half expected it though as he is a night owl and probably fell asleep on the couch while he was watching TV. We did not sleep in the same bed which is okay. At least we were under the same roof. I woke up Saturday AM to our D upset about something that was on her. Turned out she had chicken pox (yeah!!). So I called the doc and set up an appt to bring her in. H did not go with us. It was more important he go back to the OW. I was upset but at that time I didn't let him see it. So, I spent the day taking care of our D. H called to say he left his medication (he has a bronchitis). He asked me to put it outside because he didn't know what time he would be picking it up and I wasn't planning on being around for part of the evening. I let out a huge sigh and he heard it. I think he got a little defensive about that sigh and he asked why I was mad. I told him I wasn't. He said he heard my sigh. So I told him I was only wanting to see him when he came back. He just said "Oh." and we dropped it. So, Saturday night he showed up here just before 9pm and spent a little time with our D. I was upset, though, about him taking off when our D was going through chicken pox. So I told him how I felt. It may have been an LB but I tried to do it in such a way that I was not attacking him. As it was, he ended up thanking me for telling him how I felt and then he actually walked over to me and we held each other for a few minutes. So, I don't think I LB'd. If I did, why else would he make a point to hug me?<P>Sunday (Father's Day), we had plans to go to the ILs for a BBQ. I called my H to find out what he wanted special. I made this salad that he really loves. He came by here for a few minutes before we went to the ILs. Once we got there, I felt a little tense and I thought I was giving off bad vibes. Every time he would walk off alone I thought he was calling the OW on his cell. But he would come right back so I really don't think he had time to call. I finally went to him and told him I thought I was acting like a B**** and I was sorry. I wasn't sure what was happening. He said I was fine and he didn't think I was acting B****y. We continued on with our evening. We played cards that night and my FIL said I looked really nice in the color I was wearing. My H said "yeah, it really shows off your highlights in your hair" (I was so thrilled that he would even notice). Some more his relatives showed up and I found myself laughing a lot and even flirting a little with all of them (all guys). I saw my H looking at me a lot and smiling at me when he did. <P>When we finally left at 1am this morning I hugged him and then took his face and kissed him on the lips. Nothing major, just a quick kiss. The thing was, he didn't pull back (I kind of expected him to) and he actually kissed me back. I very quickly turned and walked away. Said I would talk to him in the morning.<P>That was it. But by noon today I had already spoken with him twice. He stopped by this morning and said he missed us (I had to take our D back to the doc). He's coming by again tonight to see our D and drop some stuff off for her (we can't get out since she is now quarantined).<P>So, like I said, it's a success story in the making. I am just so grateful we are moving in the direction that we are and that I see something positive almost every single day.<P>Have a wonderul day everyone!! I only wish the best for all of us!!!<P> <P> <P>------------------<BR>Molli<P>Find your strength within!

OMG Molli! That is great news. You're making many deposits to his love bank and he yours. <BR>When you described how you took his face with your hands and kissed him, and he liked it, it made me wellup. <P>You're doing a great job and learning so much. You're so brave too. Pretty soon I think this Plan A stuff is suppose to come natural and a way of life. I sure hope so.<P>Be happy and keep posting!<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR><BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak that will snap in the wind"

Jo,<P>Thanks so much. You know, the Plan A seemed almost forced in the beginning but it definitely does come easier with time. Yea, I am learning a lot about myself. It's funny, looking back I think I was acting very self-righteous and all that. What a B****! It's almost embarassing now. <P>I was telling someone only a few weeks ago, I've had to deal with a lot of personal tragedy, especially in the past 3 years. I realize now I was supposed to learn something from all of it. My H was in the hospital almost 2 years ago and I could have easily lost him and yet, it still was not enough of a kick in the pants to make me look at myself and see the things I was doing to ruin my relationship with him. Now, going through all of this pain and misery, it's like I was hit upside the head and God is saying "Now do you get it?" By no means do I condone what my H did or continues to do nor will I ever say this was what I needed to open my eyes. I know that I still have things to learn. Hopefully, I will also have a chance to lead my H down the same path as myself. I also know that going through all the emotional upheavel an A has to offer is probably one of the hardest ways of learning life's lessons.<P>What a way to learn, though, huh??<P><P>------------------<BR>Molli<P>Find your strength within!